after everyone left I put in another load of dishes ... started the dish washer ... watched the first two sketches of SNL and then got in bed with David to watch a little TV ... I couldn't wait to fall asleep ...
that is until we heard a crash ... bam ... and then a terrible high pitched squeal ... and then in our bedroom doorway is Kramer with a huge bat in his mouth ... a fucking bat in his mouth ...
I know he was proud and wanted to show us what he had done ... but I freaked cause the 2 times he has caught birds he runs under the bed to tear them apart so we can't reach him ... and I wasn't about to have him turn into Ozzy Osborne under my bed ...
David and I both jumped up and I slammed the bedroom door ... I dumped out a basket with nail polish so David had something to trap the bat under ... while he walked out I got dressed and then came out for the phone [i know now we need one in the bedroom] ...
I called the police department to find out the number for our animal control office ... while on hold David started calling for me ... I came out and saw David moved on to a bigger trap ... the trash can ... and needed me to get Kramer cause all he wanted was another round with the bat ...
I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and since he is 18 pounds and I was holding the phone, a lipstick to write with and some piece of cardboard I dragged him to the bedroom and shut the door ...
I talked to animal control and as long as it is in your house ... which this one clearly was ... they come and get it for free ... and since Kramer had a fucking good hold on him he told us to keep out of contact with the cat for a couple of hours ... they would test the bat for rabies and then kill it ... [fine by me] ... but since it was so late they were going to have to page the guy on call ... it could take a while but he would get here ...
now we just needed to keep an eye on the bat ... so we watched SNL [thank goodness for TiVo] drank coffee and smoked cigs ... and just kept watching the bat ... right after we finished watching the guy from animal control showed up ...
he put on some mega gloves ... opened his cage ... picked up the trash can and pried the bat from the wire mesh ... once he dropped the bat in the cage the bat went crazy ... and I am glad I didn't see that till he was caught ... most of the time he was in the trash can he looked medium sized ... once his wingspan opened I could see he was pretty damn big ... he started squealing and trying to move around ... the guy said ... "wow that is a pretty good sized one" ... [not what I want to hear at 2 in the morning ... actually I NEVER want to hear that] ... he told us they would test the bat for rabies and if it tested positive we would hear within 48 hours and they would let us know what we need to do for Kramer ...
so of course now we can't fall asleep ... it will be daylight before I feel comfortable ...
as David said ... I guess it is a good time to do our taxes ... I just wish Starbucks was open ... :)
No comments:
Post a Comment