Ahhhh the new it's Liz

 

October 22, 1999

Ahhhh the new it's Liz ... well I had been planning on this site for sometime ... I just couldn't say anything about it ... because I wanted to keep it private from my family ... they were unhappy with the site ... I love it ... so this is the compromise ... what is it ... don't ask don't tell ... I will say I have an overwhelming sense of guilt ... but I will eventually get over that ...  they found my car yesterday ... I was more bummed they found it then when it was stolen ... I went over to the impound lot ... and I have to say it is in surprisingly good shape ... my plates were still on the car ... and there was no body damage ... but the inside was pretty trashed ... a bunch of huffers stole it ... so the inside had lots of metallic gold paint ... baggies covered in paint ... my stuff covered in paint ... and paint on the seats ... but all my stuff was still in there ... photographs I was bummed out about loosing ... and mixed tapes from friends ... but it was all still there ... they wouldn't let me take any of it cause I didn't have the registration (which was the only thing stolen out of the car) ... but I came home and called bill (my adjuster) ... and he totally rocks ... taking care of everything ... paying for  the impound ... having it towed to a shop ... seriously making my life so much easier ...  whatever they decide about the car ... I am getting rid of it ... I will either take the insurance money or sell the car and take that money and buy a new one ... and I am going to buy it now ... instead of waiting for the electric/gas car ... and probably some GM car cause I have an old credit card that has 800 bucks towards a GM car ... so why not use that ...  I never called the rental car guy ... just seemed stupid ... and the longer I waited the harder it would be for him to remember who I was ... I figure if I see him again when I return the car ... well maybe I will do it then ... although I have been so busy I don't know when I think I would have time to go out ... hahahaaa ... I am going to Arizona this weekend with Kris to visit Kris' sister ... I am totally stressed out cause there is so much I need to do before I leave ... and every night for at least a week now I have been up till 4 AM ... I think it might be taking its tole ... plus I am not even making time to eat ... its 11 AM right now and the last time I had something other than coffee was yesterday at 2:30 ... I ate the other half to a sandwich ... shit that is bad ... oh and I was supposed to go to the chiropractor today ... but there is NO time for that ... man and I still have to iron my clothes and pack ... ack ...  Kris and I went to garage sales last weekend ... and found some killer stuff that we actually needed ... well I did get a funky spinning lamp ... I don't think I really NEEDED that ... but it was only 3 bucks and it rocks ... so yea I did need that ...  so I think I am getting back on top of stuff ... I have felt kind of overwhelmed this last week ... and it just raced by ... this weekend away from my computer will be good for me ... even though I am wishing I had a lap top to take with me ... hahahaaa ... oh on my way out I am going to get a 16MB disk for my camera so I can take like 200 pictures before I need to download them ... so I am planning on taking a TON of pictures this weekend ... it has been a while since I have added photos to my journal ... and I miss them ...  so I get soooooooo many letters asking me to get chat ... and now I have added gooey which is the most bitchen internet chat I have come across ... and I have only seen a few people in there ... and several of them found my site through gooey ... so they weren't even ones asking for chat ... I hope more people download it soon cause I have had fun talking to people who come to my site ... and so far everyone has been so polite ... which rocks ... once someone was rude ... but not so bad that I would want to get rid of chat ... at least not yet ... hahahaa ...  well I guess life has been rather dull cause I thought I had a ton to write and my mind is already at a blank ... I am just happy to feel caught up ... at least with my site ... now all the other ones for work ... well that is a different story ... for sure ...  well I am off to finish packing ... Kris and I haven't taken a trip together in a long time ... this will be fun ... I am finally getting excited ... ahhh until I return ... {smile}

Today was a pretty groovy day all around

 

October 12, 1999

Today was a pretty groovy day all around ... even though it started on a bad note ... early ... and I am talking too early for me when I stay up so late the night before ... my phone started ringing ... I assumed it was dean ... and when they didn't say anything the first time I just hung up and thought ... "ok if I don't sneeze (something that seems to happen first thing in the morning for me) I will be able to fall back asleep" ... and just as I felt myself drifting off again the phone rang ... and again they didn't say anything ... I kinda barked "thanks for waking me up for nothing so damn early" ... and then sneezed ... so now I was up ...  once I was up I checked my caller ID ... and it was a blocked call ... so not even *69 worked ... I was pretty perturbed ... but nothing I could do now but start working ...  and today I realized a very very important life lesson ... and maybe that is why it turned out to be such a great day ... the better my attitude and the nicer I am to other people the better my life is and the more people are willing to help me ... and I learned this with all the stolen car shit I have been going through ... a couple of people that I have dealt with have made comments jokingly about the fact that my attitude was so good about all this they wondered if I stole the car myself ... which Kris keeps saying as well ... cause she knows she would be pissed and miserable to be around ... but I think people have been so giving to me cause I am not like that at all ... and it something I plan on remembering and taking to heart always ... I mean in general I am a very happy-go-lucky person ... it takes a lot to break my spirit ... but I am going to work even harder at it now ...  so anyway I talked to bill ... my insurance adjuster ... a couple of times today ... he is so helpful ... and a joy to talk to ... it really is making all this a lot easier ... he set up my whole rental car stuff today ... and made it so easy for me ... and it turns out I have a great policy (thanks mom and dad ... hahahaaa) ... I don't have to pay for anything with the rental car ... thank goodness ... cause I am already strapped enough right now ... but even though having property ripped from your hands is a bitch ... I am so grateful everyone has been so kind to me and helped me so much ... especially bill cause I am totally lost with all this ... not like it is something that happens all the time (thank goodness) ... and I feel comfortable asking him any stupid question I think of ...  anyway ... so the guy from the rental car company came and picked me up this afternoon to go get my car ... and I have to say he was a total cutie ... we chatted up a storm on the way to the office ... and got along really well ... {although I can't think of anyone I don't get along with} ... and in our conversation he asked me when I moved here and why I liked it out here so much ... I told him it was cause my best friend was out here and I had a job I totally loved ... he said it was great being close to a good friend but that out here it is hard to meet people ... that is when the ding ding ding when off in my head ... was he mentioning that as a good in to ask him to do something ... although I didn't jump at the opportunity right then ... that phrase stuck in my head all day ... sooo I am feeling kind of ballsy ... and I think tomorrow I am going to call and ask him out ... I haven't totally decided yet ... but to me ... that phrase is really an indication that he may be somewhat interested ... and as Sheldon put it tonight at dinner ... even if he didn't want to go out with you he would definitely be flattered you asked ... and as I see it ... I am not worse off for asking him out and being rejected ...  as I would be for never even trying ...  so after I got my rented set of wheels ... I headed to the bookstore ... Eric informed me that the new issue of BUST was out and I just had to get my hands on it ... it is without a doubt the best women's magazine out there ... and it only comes out a couple of times a year ... so I savor it when I get it ... I don't allow myself to read it too fast ... cause the times that I have I was soooooo bummed out when I was finished cause I knew it would be months before there was a new one ... and while I was at the bookstore ... I checked for the book of articles from BUST that has recently come out ... even though I can't afford to buy the book right now ... I still wanted to check it out ... but they didn't have it ... and I don't have the money to order it so I guess I will just have to keep checking back ...  from the bookstore I headed to my chiropractors appointment ... man everyone in that place is sooooo nice ... I love going in there ... and boy does my back feel amazingly better (knock on wood) ... he wants to see me back within a week ... and I will gladly go ... there is only the slightest twinge of pain now ... and my spirits have been totally lifted ... not only that ... the cutie doctor was in there ... and he came out and chatted with me for a bit ... but in his conversation it sounded as if he had a woman in his life ... so I am just going to admire him from afar for a bit ... besides I think the rental car guy is more suitable for me ... at least right now in my life ... and having little crushes make life so much more fun ...  I didn't get to see Kris at all today or talk to her much for that matter ... but she has been so busy trying to catch up on her work after being gone for a week ... tomorrow she has an early day cause she has to take the cat to the vet ... so I am sure we will hang out tomorrow afternoon ... especially since I have to go to deans for most of the day tomorrow ... we have lots of stuff to go through so I agreed to leave my house for the day ... hahahaha and work there ...  tonight I went to Mandalay Bay ... to Border Grill for dinner ... I finally met deans friend tiffany ... who is a total sweetheart ... and this guy Sheldon that dean met at the convention in Florida ... he lives out here and does web design so we all met for dinner to talk about work stuff and see how we could help each other out ... Sheldon was totally cool ... and it is great talking about work stuff with someone other than dean ... not that I don't love dean ... but ya know it was fun ... and sitting at the table across from us was Robin Leach ... which was funny cause everyone at our table was trying to remember his catch phrase ... and kind of poking fun at him for various reasons ... one of which was wearing dark sunglasses at night ... I mean come on we were sitting outside ... it wasn't busy ... and no one was bothering him ... besides it gave us something to do while we were waiting for out food ...  on my way home I was thinking about how great my job is ... dean and I get along exceptionally well ... it is a pleasure working with ... even when he calls me 100 times a day ... super early and super late ... {thank god I got my new headset for the phone ... I think that is helping my back some too ... not holding the phone with my head and shoulder anymore} ... and dean called me on his way home and expressed the same feelings ... he loved how well we all got along ... and that we were so lucky ... {smile} ...  ohh also while I was at the bookstore I was looking at the 2000 calendars for an I Love Lucy one ... but couldn't find one ... I have seen them before ... my old boss gave me his at the end of last year ... but I haven't been able to find one since then ... I wanted one for 1999 ... so I guess I will just have to keep my eyes open for a 2000 one ... what a great calendar that would be for 2000 ... a great way to start everyday ... man what a geek ... hahahahahaaa man tonight I sure have babbled on and on and on ... but I am just brimming with joy ... I like days like that ... maybe it is cause I wore make-up today ... I don't often do it ... but I always feel good when I do ... maybe cause I don't always do it ... {smile} ...  ohhhh I had wanted to do some work tonight ... but I had soooo many emails to respond to ... ack ... and I really wanted to do this journal entry today while everything was fresh in my mind ... and now I am just fading fast ... so I think I will take a break from work tonight ... post this and head to bed ... ahhhh off to lala land ... {smile} ...

Well it was a day of being put on hold

 

October 11, 1999

Well it was a day of being put on hold ... I had to make a ton of phone calls and everyone seemed to put me on hold ... especially Earthlink ... I talked to them for 18 minutes ... and was on hold an hour and 11 minutes ... seems kind of ridiculous ... as soon as they credit me (well actually Eric) the 500 bucks I am canceling my account ... I have wanted to for a while now but I want my money back first ...  so besides dealing with Earthlink today ... I had to do tons of stuff with my car ... insurance ... police ... parents ... it sucked!! ... it turns out my parents are putting the responsibility of buying a car completely on me ... which I am not very happy about ... cause I am trying to get my finances back in order ... and can't really afford car payments now ... so this was a really shitty time to get my car stolen ...  then tonight ... which is kind of freaking me out ... my complex puts a note on the door ... someone else got their car stolen on Friday night ... then the people that stole it tried to break into their house last night ... and an altercation started ... just leaves me with an uneasy feeling ... I am glad I have a security system ... although I wish right about now I had a huge attack dog ... something else that is kind of freaking me out lately ... I think I have a visitor to my site that is freaky stalker material ... I get anywhere between 30 and 50 letters a day from him ... and all the morning letters apologize for the letters from the evening before ... and I've never even written him back ... he writes to me like we know each other ... its just weird ... dean told me to ask him if he recently got a dodge caravan ... hahahahaaa ...  hummm ... on a happier note ... Kris and I are going to Arizona weekend after next to visit her sister ... it will be nice to get away for the whole weekend ... no work ... and we are flying ... which rocks ... not in the mood for a car trip ... and besides Kris' car is stick and I don't know how to drive a stick ... never wanted to learn ... most of my boyfriend drove stick ... and their cars sucked compared to mine ... so we always just drove mine ... and that way none of them asked to switch cars and stick me with the shitty one ... hahahahaaa ohhh I almost forgot ... I got the new toys I ordered in the mail today ... I was so happy ... and I even had the right size batteries for them ... amazing enough ... one is waterproof which I have never tried ... so I am kind of excited about that well I keep thinking there is something else to write about ... and I have been sitting here staring at the screen forever ... but I don't know what it was ... I guess whatever it is I will just have to include it tomorrow ... time again for sweet dreams ... ahhh the joy of sleep ... !!

Well lets see

 October 10, 1999

Well lets see ... Kris is finally home and I am so glad ... I missed her so much ... so I knew she was coming home kinda late last night ... so I worked hard all day ... I met dean for coffee in the morning ... got home around 10:30 AM ... and worked till 8:30 PM ... got a whole site set up so dean could put on the final touches ... and then I broke open Kris' vodka ... 

when I left starbucks in the morning I hurt my back again ... since I don't have a rear view mirror in my car I have to really turn around to back out ... and I turned too much ... I got home and was dying ... well after I tried everything to help my back I figured I might as well drink some ... that would dull the pain ... so I made vodka and cranberry and hung out waiting for Kris to get home ... 

when she finally did ... Kris and Chevy and Jessica came over and we all went to this Irish pup at the resort at Summerlin ... it is a pretty groovy place and we always have fun there ... I was already pretty drunk when we left the house ... that is why everyone came to pick me up ... so I didn't drink much after we went out ... but I had a great time ... 

and I had lots of fun when I got home too ... I was talking to my friend Tommy and having a blast ... and I was feeling really cute ... excited ... and giddy and even though I would have loved company ... I think I had a better time last night by myself ... it was just one of those times where I feel great about everything ... even my back wasn't hurting too much ... of course that could have been due to the vodka ... 

so any way ... I played and had fun ... and went to bed ... I turned the ringer off on my bedroom phone so I could sleep in ... which I did get to do ... I woke up around 10:30 and got dressed to go out and get a coffee ... only to walk to my parking space and find it empty ... I stood there for a second ... kind of confused ... thinking ... what the hell ... I know I didn't drive anywhere last night ... I had been drinking ... I stood there for a minute and scanned my brain ... trying to remember if I had driven my car anywhere yesterday and left it ... but I couldn't think of a thing ... this guy unloading stuff from his car said ... "are you ok" ... and I said ... "oh my goodness my car has been stolen!!"

he said he has seen a bunch of kids out there Saturday night ... but since I never went back there cause I didn't drive ... I didn't see them ... at first I thought ... well maybe Kris was playing a bad joke on me ... she had called and said she was on her way over ... so I ran in and called her ... and she freaked and said she would never play a joke like that ... the only other person was dean ... so I called him and he said "Liz if I were gonna do something like that I would make sure I was there so I could laugh at you" ... hahahaaa ... so I called the police and gave them the basic info ... and they told me they would call me back to take the report ... 

Kris was going to the grocery ... and came over to hang out before hand ... I hadn't planned on going with her ... but without a car ... I figured I should take every opportunity to get stuff I need when I have a ride ... so we actually hung out and got smoothies ... talked ... and then went grocery shopping ... then she dropped me off at home ... the whole time we were out I had my calls forwarded to her cell phone but the police still hadn't called ... I called them again when I got home and they said they were still really busy ... and would call me back

which 6 hours later they finally did ... they took all the info from me but didn't sound too promising about getting my car back ... I am supposed to call tomorrow more to find out more info ... 

so my parents told me I should start thinking about a new car if they don't find mine ... and I know I want something smaller and more economical ... there is no reason for me to have a big minivan ... its not like I have kids or something ... and it is a huge gas guzzler ... well heather turned me on to this great new car ... it is the Honda Insight ... and it looks pretty bitchen ... this is going to be the first time I have bought my own car ... my parents have always bought them in the past ... so it is gonna be a big deal ... that I am kind of nervous about ... but it will also be the first time I will have a brand new car ... I've always wanted to be the first owner of a car ... {smile} ... 

the really weird thing about all this ... when I was coming home yesterday from coffee ... I was thinking ... man I would love to get a new ... smaller ... more efficient car ... and only 24 hours later ... my big ... gas guzzling ... falling apart car is gone ... wow the power of thought ... hummm ... what would I like to change next in my life?? 

I do have a chiropractors appointment tomorrow ... but it is pretty close and walking won't be too big of a deal ... although that does mean I need to get up earlier tomorrow which means I should definitely go to bed soon ... 

I talked to heather a bunch this weekend ... man I miss her ... I wish there was an opportunity to see her soon ... she has been so busy since she went back to school to become a deaf interpreter ... she has been studying so hard ... I am just so proud of her ... and I think she picked the perfect field for her ... just makes me so happy talking to her about it and hearing how well she is doing and how much she loves it ... 

I tried to call my old roommate Sean a couple of times this weekend but I wasn't able to get a hold of him ... I miss him a lot too ... I want all my friends from Kansas to move out here ... ohhh maybe that is what I should change next in my life ... use my mental powers to get my friends out here ... hahahahaa

besides working like a dog ... I haven't done much else ... my house needs cleaning so badly ... but the bending ... lifting ... scrubbing all are such a strain on my back ... so I have done a little here and there ... but I really need to do it all ... I guess with all the time I will be cooped up in the house now I will be able to get it done eventually ... 

well I feel sleep approaching ... so I shouldn't ignore it ... for fear I will hit my second wind and not go to bed for hours ... ahhh sweet dreams await!!

Ok ... weird stuff

 

October 5, 1999

Ok ... weird stuff ... but first ... I woke up in even more pain than yesterday ... today my neck and my back hurt ...  dean and I were on the phone most of the morning ... doing work stuff ... and we were supposed to have a meeting tonight ... to go over all the stuff he learned at his convention ... but when he called ... I was hurting bad ... really bad ... that he came and picked me up and took me to his chiropractor ... who was very nice ... and made my back feel somewhat better ... but that wasn't the weird part of my day ... this was ...  about a week and a half ago I was going through my mail ... and I saw this ad for a chiropractor ... and the picture of the guy was soooo cute ... that I actually saved the ad ... and every once in a while I look at the guys picture ...  anyway when we walked into the office tonight ... I saw the other doctor in his office and thought he was so cute ... when he came in to say goodnight to my doctor ... I saw he was even cuter than I thought ... and as I was leaving I saw the doctors cards on the counter ... and the other doctor was the one whose picture I had saved ... I couldn't believe it ... so since dean is friends with his doctor I told him he had to find out if he was single ... heeheheeee so other than that ... just been working working working ... missing Kris ... I am going over to their house on Friday to help Chevy clean ... so Kris will come home all happy on Saturday and want to go out ... and I think I am going to ask Chevy if he wants to go play bingo on Friday night ... he and I always want to go and Kris is never too into it ... so it is the perfect opportunity for us to go and play ... it is something I love and I haven't gone to play bingo since I moved out here ... and I have my bingo inkers too ... I am sure he will want to go ... we may even get to play 2 rounds ... hahahahaaa ahhh well I need to do some serious grocery shopping ... I was kind of hoping I could wait till Kris got back ... so I could get some help carrying everything up here ... but I don't think I can wait that long ... and I had wanted us to make a price club visit together ... so we could split everything ... but our pay periods are different so we never have enough money for a price club trip at the same time ... cause ya know you gotta have more than you want to spend with you when you go in there ...  Kris and I have been talking this last week or so about volunteering our time ... both of us have it pretty good ... which means we should share that with others ... as children we both had friends that passed away from cancer ... Kris' friend of brain cancer and my friend Tammy from Leukemia ... so I am going to look into volunteering in the children's ward at the hospital ... my mom sent me a great letter ... that drove the point home really well ... it is kind of long ... but well worth the read ... and I want to keep it somewhere where I will never loose it and can refer to it whenever I want ... so here it is: BIG ROCKS FIRST!!!! One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked,  "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes." The time management expert replied, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more,  "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him.  "Probably not," one of them answered.  "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question,  "Is this jar full?" No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked,  "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"  "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point.  The truth this illustration teaches us is if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all.  What are the 'big rocks' in your life -- time with your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others?  Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. " So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first." I just love that story ... well on that note I think I will read my cards and get back to work ... much to do!!

Man there is so much I want to write about

 

October 3, 1999

Man there is so much I want to write about ... but I pulled a muscle in my back ... so I don't know how long I will feel like writing ... ohhhh I should go down and sit in the Jacuzzi ... I just don't feel like going by myself ... there have been times lately where I have thought about removing the email link on my website ... I am so tired of getting fucked up emails ... although I would miss out on so many great emails ... and the people that are driving me to consider this are the ones that feel I owe them nudity ... because they put in the time to watch the camera ... shit no one is making them open my site ... and damn it ... it isn't a show ... it is my life ... and I can vouch better than anyone ... my life is boring right now ... visually ... but for me ... I am getting amazing amounts of work done on websites ... and on making my new apartment into a home ... a home where I spend incredible amounts of time since I work here too ... I am in this mood right now cause after working like 16 hours yesterday ... and a somewhat restless sleep I woke up to this email ... I watch you for almost 4 hrs and I didn't see any kind of nudity. I think I will stop watching unless you show me your boobs now. it is around 8:00 am I mean what the hell ... there are millions of sites out there that are specifically for naked women ... and this is not one of them ... don't people get that yet ... why even waste time here if that is all you want ... god ... ok I need to change my mindset ... cause I am just gonna get all bent out of shape and it is only 10:13 AM ... Kris and dean are out of town ... so I have a long ... uninterrupted day of work ahead of me ... ohhhh and my back is hurting ... I think I need to go to the Jacuzzi ... maybe I will just go take a bath right now ... a really really really hot one ... yea I will do that ... change my mindset ... and then write in my journal ... {smile} ...   well my back is still hurting but I am in a much better frame of mind ... I remembered I taped Saturday Night Live last night ... and Jerry Sinefeld was the host so I have it on now ... and it is already making me giggle ... ohhh I am so glad I remembered to tape it ... so Kris is in new York for the week ... which means I am getting a ton of work done ... but I miss her being here ... after working so long yesterday I really wanted to go out for a bit ... I would go out alone ... but it just isn't safe ...   well it is 12:50 AM ... and my back is still killing me ... I called my friend jams ... who works at a health store ... and he gave me the name of something to get ... but I was hurting too much to go get money from work and to go to the store too ... besides I wouldn't even know what I was doing in the store ... or even what to do with the stuff he told me to get ... so tomorrow morning I am going to go get some money and a new heating pad ... since Harley kind of destroyed my last one ... once he got really sick he liked sleeping on it ... and it was covered in cat hair so I had to toss it ...  I saw the cutest end tables at Michaels today ... I really wanted to get them ... they only had two left ... and they were unfinished wood so I could do whatever I want to them ... but I really don't have the money right now ... man I hate that ... its like when I have to get a new outfit ... (which I hate doing) ... I can never find anything ... but when I don't have the money or the need for anything I find a bunch of stuff I want ...  I hung up all my "I Love Lucy" postcards in the kitchen this weekend and I LOVE how it looks ... it came out so cute ... I still need to work on these curtains ... I was sorry I hadn't moved my sewing machine out here already today ... cause I couldn't do it with my back like this ... and I would have like to work on some sewing today ... I will have to talk someone into coming over to move it for me ... cause I am not going to attempt to ...  I also finally moved my CDs over from Kris and Chevy's ... and Chevy brought my kitchen table over the other day ... so all that is left now are all my movies and my big mirrors ... I can't wait for those cause I want to hang the huge one above the couch ... my favorite one broke during the move ... not the actual mirror but the frame ... and the other one I have ... I have no idea where I can hang it ... I am running out of wall space fast ... I still have a bunch of photos to hang in my bedroom ... but I just haven't been in the mood at all ... although I found some cute wooden frames today that I have primed to paint ... so I think I may do those up in yellow ... I have been looking for a simple little project ... that is probably perfect ...  man I have never had a massage before in my life ... but I am thinking ... with all this sitting in front of the computer that I have been doing ... and my back hurting so much ... that when I get paid on Tuesday ... I think I should spring for a massage ... there is a bit of nervousness in me ... I don't know why ... there just is ... I wish I had a friend out here that was a masseuse ... then I would be more comfortable about it ... although I truly don't know what I am worried about ... I know how much I need it ... and can only imagine how great it will feel ... cause I am telling you ... I need something ... I am dreading going to sleep tonight ... cause it just hurts more when I lay down ... and I don't need another restless night of sleep ... I need some good hardcore snooze time ... dean is going to have a million things for me to do when he gets back tomorrow night ... I am sorry I don't have some sort of plans for tomorrow night ... how bitchy to say ... but so true ...  ya know what I need ... I need to be interested in someone ... I noticed when Clint was around ... I actually took a break from working ... besides it is fun being interested in someone new ... {probably why it rarely lasts very long ... I get bored ... and want to become interested in someone new} ... hahahaaa ... I think I am just tired of meeting people online ... but I don't leave my house enough to meet people in the real world ...  although the last 3 times I have read my Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards (what Kris and I are always doing when she comes over ... reading our cards) ... it has said it is the right time for me to meet someone I could fall in love with ... so we'll see ... HAHAHAHAHAAA