We all have pet peeves

 

July 31, 1999

We all have pet peeves ... as a kid I hated when people scraped stuff across the sidewalk ... like a rock or a stick ... I just couldn't stand the sound {even writing about it gives me the quivers} ... I guess it is still one of my pet peeves ... but it just doesn't happen too often anymore ... what really irks me now {and there really aren't many things ...at the moment this is the only thing I can think of} ... is when someone says "hey I will call you tomorrow" ... and tomorrow comes and goes without the phone ringing ... don't tell me you are going to call if you aren't going to ... it is as simple as that ... if you don't say anything at all ... and call me ... well then it is a treat ... if you don't call me ... I am none the wiser ... ... obviously my new friend didn't call me today ... it isn't that big of a deal ... it just bothers me ... its not like it ruined my day or anything ... in fact I had a pretty bitchen day ... it is Saturday ... so of course Kris had us up and cleaning the house ... went pretty well with 4 of us here ... and I know Saturday's are days Chevy is happy I am here ... it is less work for him ... so we cleaned the house like mad ... and it looks beautiful ... and once we were finished ... we showered and headed to the strip ... we went to Fat Tuesday's and got drinks and then went to Game Works to play video games ... it was totally fun ... although I got my ass kicked in Virtua Fighter which rarely happens ... hahahaaa ... we also checked out World of Coke ... cause next month is my brother's 27th birthday and he digs Coca-Cola stuff ... in college he was awarded a $25,000 scholarship from them ... so our family quickly became fans ... {smile} ... anyway ... we came home and Kris made a wonderful dinner, Jessica came over and then we all just hung out for a while ... at 10 the 4 girls decided to go see American Pie and I am sooooooo glad we did ... man I laughed sooooo hard ... "Say my name, what's my name bitch?!?!" ... was seriously the best line in the movie ... I thought I was gonna cry I was laughing so hard ... thinking about it now I am laughing hard again ... in fact I laughed so hard during the movie I wanna see it again cause I know I missed a bunch ... it is late now ... and I should go to bed cause there is a bunch of stuff I am looking forward to doing tomorrow ... in the morning Kris, Kristy, Jessica and I are going swimming ... I am going to do a little grocery shopping ... and starting at 6 PM there is a 13 episode marathon of The Ben Stiller Show on F/X ... I am so excited ... it is definitely my all time favorite show {after I Love Lucy of course} ... and I have a whole bunch of the shows on tape from when they originally aired ... but the quality is HORRIBLE and it is such a bummer ... so now I can be prepared ... and tape them all ... cause there were only 13 episodes of the show ... ... ahhh and then it is back to working ... a lot ... but each moment I work is a moment closer to finally being totally on my own ... I can hardly wait ... well I think I am going to crawl into bed and watch a little of the I Love Lucy Saturday on nick {that I actually taped while I was at the movies} ... hahahahaa ... it really is the little things that matter ... the things that make you smile ...

ahhhhh so I am averaging about 12 hours

 

July 29, 1999

ahhhhh so I am averaging about 12 hours of work a day ... sure is different from the like 2 I was working before I moved from Cali ... {smile} ... but it sure leaves little time for ... well I don't know what for but it leaves little "me" time ... which is probably good in a way ... cause I am really really really broke lately ... ahhhh but eventually it will all come together ... I am sure of that ... Chevy's mom left yesterday morning ... and last night Kris and I went to the airport to pick up her 14 year old niece Kristy ... who is just a sweetie ... at a rough point in life ... but so much potential ... god having kids has gotta be so hard ... saying the right things isn't easy ... so anyway she was stuck at home today ... and I had a 3 PM meeting ... so I left work for a while ... came and picked her up ... and took her to The Draft House for lunch ... this groovy restaurant I love ... anyway ... it was fun hanging out ... and I didn't want her to be home all day by herself ... and I thought ... I might be the easiest one to talk to since I am not a relative ... cause I know there are things on her mind ... there are things on every 14 year olds mind ... who is getting ready to start high school ... in a new city ... and is boy crazy ... hahahahaaa ... so anyway ... my 3 o'clock meeting didn't start till after 4 ... but went wonderfully ... I am digging my new job ... I am still a bit worried ... but I dig it ... so I was about an hour late for work at the pizza place ... which they totally understand ... I just hate missing the money ... and this week my tips have sucked ... big time ... when I got home tonight there was a package sitting on the front porch ... and I knew just what it was ... a package from my mom via Nordstroms ... 2 new pairs of Dr. Martins ... sweet docs in fact ... dressier ... which is good cause they are the only shoes I like to wear ... and my sandals aren't always appropriate ... hahahaa ... Kristy was hanging out in my room on the computer when I got home ... and saw me open the new shoes ... and totally loved them ... she and I hung out for a while ... and now I am in here writing ... and working ... I have been teaching myself Java ... to improve my web skills and it is pretty cool ... I am getting it so far which is a good thing ... I have wanted to learn Java for sometime now ... but ya know it is much easier to do something when you have a reason to be motivated ... and especially when you are getting paid to learn it ... Kris and I decided we should stay in this weekend ... which I am so happy about ... neither of us really has the money to go out ... and Kristy is here ... and next weekend Kris' whole family will be out here for her birthday ... so this way I can save up to get Kris' skates ... ohhh I am so excited ... I hope she doesn't hate it as a gift ... I guess if she does we can always return them for something else ... although I will definitely be keeping mine ... hahahahaa cause I have wanted a pair of roller skates for a while now ... and I think I will make some of those goofy pom poms to put on the package for Kris ... as kind of a hint ... he he hehe he he man I am a dork ... ahhh but who cares ... I think that is part of my charm ... my friend Hazen from Kentucky will be here on the 18th ... I can hardly wait ... he is such a sweetie ... he and I started talking online over a year and a half ago ... he randomly found my AOL profile ... and IMed me one day ... and we have been talking ever since ... last summer when I was living in North Carolina ... he came to meet me ... we only got to spend a few hours hanging out ... but it was fun ... we have a perfect relationship ... we will always be friends ... he is a total hottie ... and when we first started talking he said he has always had a problem with girls that he thought were good friends one day saying "Hazen I like you" ... and I said ... "Well sweets ... I will make you a promise right now ... I will never ever say that to you ... this way you can always trust my advice because I won't have an ulterior motive" ... and it has worked great ever since ... hahahahaaa he and I can talk about anything and everything ... and we know we are getting sound advice from each other ... so now he and his brother and sister and their spouses are coming out here for 5 days ... so Hazen and I will get to hang out a bunch ... another reason I need to save up some money ... well I have rambled on for quite sometime now ... and it is late ... I have another long long day ahead of me and I should get some ZzZzZzZs ... ahhh in fact a bed is sounding quite comfy right now ...

well I can say I am getting better

 

July 28, 1999

well I can say I am getting better at writing in my journal ... maybe because right now I have a whole bunch of work to do ... and I just wanted a break for a bit ... there is a lot to do at this new job ... lots and lots to do ... and for the morning we spent the time getting all the bugs out of the network ... which ya know is always fun stuff ... so I decided to come home for lunch ... and then work on some stuff at home before I go to the pizza place to work dinner ... unfortunately I took a big pay cut for this job ... which at this time in my life probably isn't the smartest thing in the world ... but it is the job I really want ... and I am hoping in the end it really pays off ... which it might ...

Man I am really starting to wonder about my new job

 July 27, 1999

Man I am really starting to wonder about my new job ... I don't know if the guy is totally busy ... or if he has changed his mind ... or if he isn't as serious about all this as I thought he was ... the last time I spoke with him (Sunday night) ... he was going to LA on Monday and told me we would start today ... to call him at work ... but he isn't in and I haven't heard from him ... and I am wondering if I should just go into the pizza place this morning ... which I don't want to do ... cause then they will start expecting me ... and I just hate working there at lunch ... ack this is so frustrating ...

and ya know this morning I was thinking ... I haven't even heard from the temp agencies ... which totally pisses me off ... I tested and scored high ... and I am sure I got great recommendations from my former employers ... so I can't figure out why either of them hasn't called me to work yet ...

oh I am so worried about this new job ...

work at the pizza place wasn't so bad last night ... I made some good money and I had this trippy older couple come in ... man they were a trip ... they looked like they walked straight out of the 60's ... ordered sooooo much food and ate it all ... I think everyone was impressed at work ... and the woman came in and gave everyone in the kitchen kisses before they left cause she said the food was sooo great ... it was hysterical ...

but I felt bad when I got home ... Chevy's mom was supposed to come visit last night ... and she didn't ... when he called to see what time she and his aunt left northern Cali ... he found out they hadn't even left yet ... and said he figures they aren't even coming ... I think he is kind of bummed out and I am sad for him ... Kris felt really bad too ... but who knows she may show up today ... we will see ...

I did get a project done yesterday since I didn't work at my new job ... Kris' grandfather really wants to see pictures of the house ... so I figured since Chevy's mom was coming and I had the morning off ... I would tidy up and take photos of the house ... and I took a ton ... I still have to go through all of them ... and put them on disk to mail to him ... but at least they are all taken and the house looked great when Kris and Chevy got home from work ...

Kris and I have been talking about getting roller skates ... and skating around the neighborhood ... and I was thinking I should find them and get us both pairs for her birthday ... which is next month on the 11th ... it could be a really fun present ... maybe she and I will even go to the skating rink one night ... hahahahaa oh like we did in elementary school ... I could even make those funny little pom pom things to put on the front of the skates ... ohhh I think I will go price them out ... I know they aren't easy to find anymore now that there are rollerblades ... but we are from the old school ... we need a stopper on the front of the skate ... if I lean back on rollerblades ... I am definitely going down ... gravity is too strong a force ... {smile}

 

ok it is midnight and I just got back from my first official night of work at my new job as a web designer ... and it rocked!! I met the guy I will be working with, Boz, and we seemed to get along quite well ... which is great cause we will be spending a lot of time together ...

I was so happy everything finally came together tonight ... I was really worried ... but everything was very comfortable tonight ... we set up my desk ... ohhh I have a huge monitor ... oh it was just so bitchen {I have recently learned that my mother hates when I use the word bitchen ... but at this moment there really is no other appropriate word ... sorry ... smile}

well tonight when I got home Eric was online ... and he had gone out on a date ... and I totally wanted to know all about it ... it made me so happy that even though we dated for so long ... we are friends and could talk ... then he told me he told Erin (the woman he went on a date with) about my site ... and that she has totally checked it out ... and read my journal ... and feels like she knows me ... which is just sooooo cool ... I love that someone gets that from my site ... cause I never really think about it till I hear something like that ... and it always makes me so happy cause I have so much fun having this site ... it also makes it harder to wait 'till it is back up and running ... cause I do miss it so much ...

although I had the feeling tonight ... that at some point ... I may be able to talk them into letting me have a cam running at my desk at work ... which means it would really be on all the time ... all day at work ... and then all night at home ... which would rock ... so I am definitely keeping that in mind ...

I have been so happy spending so much time with Kris ... it is really like having a sister ... which I always wanted ... there are times where instinctively I know how she will react ... or what she will say ... and it just cracks us up ... and she says ... "wow you know me way too well" ...

it looks like we may have a bunch of company the next couple of days ... mother-in-laws ... aunts ... nieces ... well only one of each ... but still I believe I will have to share my room ... which is fine with me ... I am staying for free ... and it will encourage me to work even more ... be out of the house ... oh I am totally looking forward to work tomorrow ... (well at least one of my jobs) ... which hasn't happened in a long time ... that is a great feeling!!!

I had a really groovy weekend

 

July 18, 1999

I had a really groovy weekend ... and made a photo album of the pictures I took this weekend ... to check it out ... click on the link at the top of this journal entry ... Well friends of mine & Kris' from Kansas ... who live in LA now were out here for the weekend ... but they were too tired Friday night and Kris and I didn't really feel like going out ... instead she and I wound up going to Wal-Mart at like 10:30 at night ... as we were walking around we both just started cracking up ... and I said "man what kind of losers are we ... out shopping at Wal-Mart at 11 on a Friday night ... man we need help!" ... but we were both cracking up so badly ... and I did find a really bitchen black purse for like 10 bucks ... that is big enough to hold my digital camera ... so Saturday night when we went out ... I brought my camera and took a bunch of pictures ... some of which are in my new photo album addition ... so Saturday night ... Jason M., Jason T., Kris and I went out ... we first went to MGM Grand ... to Fat Tuesdays for daiquiris ... that were so good ... and we wound up getting seats there (which isn't easy to do since there are only a couple) and hung out there for a while ... talked with our bartender Justin and took a bunch of pictures ... then we all headed over to the shopping area so I could finally get the I Love Lucy t-shirt I have wanted ... I was so excited ... and it is such a cute t-shirt ... I also go a book of I Love Lucy postcards that I am going to frame and hang in the kitchen of my new place when I do finally move ... well after MGM Grand we headed over to New York, New York ... we were going to go to the piano bar there ... but there was a line ... and Jason M. and Jason T. really wanted to go to a gay bar ... and although I felt bad I had to put my foot down ... I really just didn't want to go ... Kris is married, Jason and Jason have each other ... and I am single and now they want me to go to a place ... pay to get in ... and hang out with even more men I have no chance of dating ... hahahahahaa I told them it wasn't going to happen ... if I am going out I want to at least be able to check guys out that I have a chance with cause they are heterosexual ... hahaha they were all laughing at me but I was being totally serious ... well the Jasons wound up going back to their hotel and Kris and I went to boomerangs for a while ... it was kind of dead ... so we went out back to watch the guys playing volleyball ... there is this really young cutie that is friends with Kris' friend Patrick that was there last night ... I can't remember his name ... but we talked a bit ... he is total eye candy ... so it was fun watching him play volleyball ... but it eventually got late ... and Kris and I were both totally tired so we headed home ... and both totally slept in today ... which was nice ... then Jason M. and Jason T. came over ... we went out and got good sandwich makings for lunch at the Bagel Cafe (such good food ... damn!!) ... and brought it all home ... all of us ... made lunch ... hung out ... watched a movie and ate ... it was fun ... I really loved seeing Jason M. and Jason T. ... after lunch everyone took a nap while I went and worked on the photos from the night before ... so everyone could see them when they woke up ... which they all loved ... before Jason M. and Jason T. took off for LA we all went out for coffee and one last smoke ... and then said our good-byes ... then Kris and Chevy and I went to Wal-Mart ... it was an overall great weekend ... a nice break from working so hard ... especially when I am going to work as much as possible next week ... since the temp agency hasn't called me yet ... wow I just checked to see when the last time I wrote in my journal was ... and it was way too long ago ... I didn't realize how long I had been neglecting it ... so lets see ... what all has been going on ... Thursday I had my gyno appointment and I didn't really like the doctor that much ... he put me on the pill again to take away what he said "appeared to be all the symptoms of endometriosis ... but you don't have it ... we will just put you on the pill and you will feel better" ... so I have decided I am going to find a woman doctor ... I don't know why I haven't before ... but a man really couldn't have any idea what bad cramps are like ... I don't even think a man could handle the excruciating pain of cramps ... many times I think "I am supposed to be able to function feeling like this" ... but I just hate being on the pill ... for many reasons ... number one I hate spending $30 dollars a month on birth control when I am not even having sex ... second I now have to take a pill every night that reminds me I am not having sex ... hahahaa ... and third ... I just hate taking something that so alters my body chemistry and what is happening with it ... but I will try it for a bit while I look for a female doctor and see what happens ... on Friday I just couldn't take how my hair looked anymore ... so I went to Supercuts ... and had her just chop it to right below my shoulders ... it took out most of the layers ... and looks sooooooo much better ... I was so glad I did it ... in fact I am thinking of going back in a week or two and having her cut it to my shoulders ... I miss the really long hair ... but I am liking how it looks ... it is so much better than it was ... thank goodness ... it totally changed my attitude ... although I have been becoming unhappy with my appearance ... I have been doing twice as much physical activity here than I was back in Cali ... but I am just feeling kinda blah ... I know I could look so much better ... I have done the tae-bo workout a couple of times and really loved it ... but I haven't been very good lately about doing it ... I know that that needs to change ... so I am really going to push myself to do it on a regular basis ... I know it will make me feel so much better ... and I know how much I need it ... its too bad Kris has to be at work so early ... cause we were good about doing it together ... but for us to do it together I would need to be up at 4:30 am ... and that is just too early ... maybe when I get a real job I will be getting up that early ... but right now ... noooo way ... so I feel all caught up now ... thank goodness ... and I now I just look forward to a week of getting one step closer to financial independence ... {smile}

I have developed some insane insomniac tendencies

 

July 12, 1999

I have developed some insane insomniac tendencies ... I hardly slept last night ... and was completely up this morning at 4:40 AM ... figured I might as well get out of bed and get some stuff done ... so I contacted the elevator company I used to work for in hopes that they were hiring ... at least it is a job I am good at ... made good money doing ... and I would know what I was doing ... but they aren't hiring ... unfortunately ... so I am off to temp agencies today ... in hopes of getting a real job during the day ... one with benefits ... and then waitressing at night ... it will be a long day ... everyday ... but that way I will still have Saturday and Sunday off ... so it won't be too taxing ... usually when ya have two jobs ... it is hard to schedule a day off ... but this way I still have my weekends ... I will just have 13-14 hour days ... ack ... but ya gotta do what ya gotta do ... and if it is a choice between school and work ... I would much rather work work work work work ... hahahahahaaaa I started looking at apartments on the internet yesterday ... and there are some really great places out here ... bigger and less expensive than what I was paying in Cali ... in fact I may even be able to get a two bedroom out here ... which means I can put my workbench and all my arts & crafts stuff in the second bedroom ... along with my futon couch ... and get a real couch for my living room ... and a kitchen table and chairs for my dining room instead of using it as a work shop ... also that way when people come to stay with me ... they can use the second bedroom ... and will have more privacy ... places out here also have refrigerators ... and washer/dryers in the apartment ... that is almost unheard of in Cali ... everywhere I lived we had to have our own fridge ... and in the condo Eric and I had there wasn't even a laundry room ... until my mom gave us her old washer and dryer we had to drive quite a ways to get to a Laundromat ... well I have resumes to print up ... and temp agencies to call ... although it is still only 6:30 AM ... so its not like I don't have plenty of time ... still a couple of hours before anything opens ... hahahahaaaa I am sure I will have more to write later ..

well I definitely drank way too much last night

 

July 11, 1999

well I definitely drank way too much last night ... way way way too much ... we had fun ... went to Fiesta and played poker for a while ... then hung out at Boomerangs ... I woke up hanging this morning ... and when I walked into the bathroom I almost burst into tears all over again about my hair ... I am just so pissed at what happened ... I have been in such a bitter mood all weekend ... except while I was drunk last night ... even with her husband there ... guys were talking to Kris ... me ... I sometimes feel like a leper ... or the ugly friend so everyone I am with looks really really cute ... hahahahahaaaa today we took Dakota to the dog park ... she had a blast running around ... it was totally fun ... Kramer would love it if there were a place like that for cats ... although I don't see all the cats getting along like all the dogs do ... I am starting to love dogs ... I wish I was going to be living somewhere where I could have one ... but ya just can't do that in an apartment ... it wouldn't be fair to the dog at all ... and right now I am just looking forward to Kramer having his own place again ... instead of spending lots of time in my room ... he only seems to go out during the day when I am the only one home ... he is still too much of a scardy cat when other people are around ... and he still hates the dog ... hahahahaaa ...

First off

 

July 8, 1999

First off ... I don't even know if I mentioned this before ... but I broke the space bar on my keyboard and it is making me insane ... I am just gonna have to break down and buy a new one ... ack ... I hate expenses I am not looking forward to ... or that I didn't plan ... or that aren't pleasure expenses ... but it is making me nuts ... I should probably go today between my shifts ... ack who knows well yesterday work was hell ... we were so busy ... it was amazing ... but I made some good money ... at least enough to afford a new keyboard ... hahahahaa ... I guess that wouldn't actually be good money to others ... but to me right now it is ... and about 10 minutes before I was supposed to get off work last night ... a guy I have been talking to online came in to meet me ... which was very cool ... in between helping people ... and doing my side work ... I got to sit and chat with him ... and once I got off we sat outside and talked for about half an hour ... I was really happy he came in ... and although I was busy/sweaty/and disgusting from working so hard ... I was so happy to finally meet him ... I thought he was a total cutie but I don't think the feeling was mutual ... which is no big deal ... but still kind of a bummer none the less ... I still had fun ... Eric and Blake aren't coming to visit this weekend ... Blake got sick and Eric is getting ready to move and can't really afford a trip to Vegas ... I was bummed when I found out cause I was looking forward to going out and doing stuff this weekend ... and Kris is doing some diet for 2 weeks and can't drink so she will have even less of a desire to go out this weekend than previous weekends ... I think I am just in a funk today ... I feel shitty ... not health wise although my back aches from working so hard yesterday ... but I just feel disenchanted ... I don't know why ... stuff is really going great (knock on wood) ... but I do ... really blah!! all morning I have been trying to snap out of it ... but nothing is working ... and my boss told me he might not need me this morning which was great cause I hate working at lunch ... but he called a bit ago and said he did need me to come in ... lately I was one of the only people he could count on ... the curse of being responsible at work ... damn it ... I did do something long overdue this morning ... I made a gyno appointment ... it has been 4 years since I have gone ... which is totally horrible ... I used to go twice a year even though you only need to go once a year ... and then something happened and I just stopped going ... I don't know why ... and my friends have been giving me a lot of shit about it ... which they should ... so I made the appointment for next Thursday ... and the doctor is an endometriosis specialist ... I have had several doctors tell me I should see someone who specializes in it ... because I have many of symptoms related to endometriosis ... this could be a reason I haven't gone to the doctor ... my friend was diagnosed with it a year after she graduated high school ... and they had to do a full hysterectomy ... which scares the shit out of me ... that would mean I could never have a child ... ohhh thinking about all this I am gonna cry ... so I probably shouldn't even write anymore till after I see the doctor ... I just know it is something I have worried about for quite sometime ... and I guess I just don't want to know ... cause sometimes not knowing is better ... more worry ... but no definates ... ahhhh I should get ready for work ... I gotta be there soon ... I just hope people are in a better mood today ... too many customers and employees yelling yesterday ... makes for a shitty morning ... but through it all I did retain my smile ... hard as that was to do ... hahahaha but I did it ...   ohhhhh man what a day I had today ... there was a huge storm here in Vegas today ... weird thing is huge rainfall out here is less than 2 inches ... but the damage it caused was amazing ... flooding everywhere ... took me an hour to get home this afternoon and I live only 10 minutes away from work ... and the hell it unleashed on the lunch crowd today was unrelenting ... at one point I had a customer yelling at me ... and the pizza chef yelling at me ... and I was about to loose it ... and just walked out ... I was tempted to leave ... but unfortunately I am more loyal than that ... I just took a short walk and cooled off ... but I HATE working lunch there ... I love dinner ... but lunch is making me hate the place ... I didn't even want to go back tonight ... I told my boss that is Sal (pizza cook) yelled at me one more time like that I would quit ... I found that job 3 hours after getting here ... I could easily find an easy office job ... I just like waitressing and I like working there at dinner ... so needless today when I had to leave to go back for dinner 40 minutes after I got home from lunch ... (since it took me so long to get home in the storm) I was not a happy camper when I got there ... and since I ordinarily smile so much ... people are totally aware when I am not happy ... and everyone could tell ... Sal and I didn't say one word to each other all night ... which is much better than him yelling at me ... but you could tell he was pissed I said something to my boss ... but hey ... it was how I felt ... ok ... enough negative stuff ... I forgot to write that last night my mom's best friend also stopped into work ... she and her husband didn't say for dinner ... but they drove in to say hello ... see how I was liking Vegas ... and to see if I needed anything ... I thought it was so nice of them ... a very important lesson I learned years ago ... you get much more accomplished in life the nicer you are to people ... has been reinforced in me a lot this week ... and it has taken all my restraint to remain calm ... polite ... and smile when I have people yelling at me about stupid things ... and it makes me feel sad that so many people appear to be unhappy and bitter towards the world ...