99 days till I get married

You know the scene in My Cousin Vinny when they are on the porch of the cabin ... Lisa is going through the speech about her biological clock and Vinny goes through a long list of things that are piling up stressing him out and asks, "What more could we possibly pile up on the outcome of this case?" ... that is how I am feeling ...


Today is 99 days till I get married ... the list of stuff I have to do is getting longer rather than shorter ... some of the things I can't do until orders come in ... some of the things I am still trying to figure out how to do them ... we have no honeymoon planned and it turned out some of the mileage we were going to use to pay for things we aren't getting ... so it is just so much on top of so much on top of so much ...


and to make things even worse ... it is this time last year that we had the BATS ... and I am nervous wreck at home ... every time Kramer freaks I freak ... when I hear wings flap [hopfully they are from birds] I jump up and run ... bats bats bats ... I can't deal with them again this year ...


I think the point I am trying to make is that I am just too fucking stressed out right now ... I am dieting and working out like a fucking maniac and I am getting very little support from the people around me and it is hard ... I am down 35 pounds but I don't believe I have even lost one pants size cause everything still fits just fine ...


and all the people around me are complaining about all sorts of shit but no one is having time to listen to me ... and I need that so badly ... I am sick of listening to everyone else ...


my birthday was on Sunday and it came and went without incidence ... I realize we were all dealing with a bit too much death last week but I fucking live for my birthday ... and it was just a nothing day at all ...


ok my pity party is over ... I gotta go figure out why my arm is hurting me so badly ... and it feels like it is asleep ... hummmmmmmm

all at once

Americans killed in Iraq were Baptist missionaries This was all over the news Monday but I just couldn't write about it ... Jean is my mom's cousin ... Jean and her husband were two of the four killed on Monday in Iraq ... the whole family was terribly shocked ... then yesterday morning while I was at work my mother called ... my Grandmother's brother passed away Tuesday night ... 3 people from one family in two days ... just doesn't seem right ... my Grandmother is the only child living from her family ... out of 10 children ... it makes me so worried ... this is the type of thing that triggers a person's will to live ... my dad's father passed away a week after his sister because he was so sad ... my Grandmother and her brother have lived next door to each other for 50 years ... I'm just not ready to let her go ... she is my last grandparent left ... Sunday is my birthday and the 11 year anniversary of my other Grandmother's death ... I don't want them both gone ... at the same time ... I miss my dad's mom terribly ... we were very close ... and I don't know how my mom will handle when her mother is gone ... I just can't stop crying ... I am worried about so many people right now ... it is just so much loss and fear all at once ... I'm not normally one to pray but I think I may try it today ...

Honeymoon in Europs

David and I are going to Europe for our honeymoon ... lucky bastards I know ... but a part of me is so nervous to make the trip ... my brother and his wife left for their honeymoon on September 5, 2001 ... they spent a couple of days in Europe before boarding a European cruise on September 10, 2001 ... the first morning of their trip they were stranded in a port in Portugal for 9 days ... wherein the cruiseline made other transportation arrangements for the passengers ... the ship didn't sail because of 9-11 ... with all the scary stuff I am reading lately I don't want to be a tourist in Europe ... a part of me is a bit freaked out by it ... it is David's dream to visit Europe and he feels this is his best chance to go ... I just wish I felt safer about the whole idea ... I'm having a bit of trouble getting excited about the journey ...


that really seems to be the only thing on my mind lately ... everything else is just gravy ... yummmm gravy ... still dieting ... kicking some serious ass too ... doubled my workouts ... twice a day now even when I don't feel like it ... big step for me ...


its bedtime now ... tonight I will say some good thoughts for those who lost their life [and their families] in the terrible bombing in Spain ... the 11th of the month doesn't seem to be a good day ... doesn't seem to matter what month either ...

sick to my stomach

The following article makes me sick to my stomach ... it reinforces the fact that I just don't understand people ... how can a woman have a problem looking at a pamphlet about sex with her husband ... how can these woman be against their children hearing about homosexuality and masturbation ... this is only sending a message to their girls that they can't be who they are they need to be something mommy and daddy approve of ... so they in fact might have to lie to themselves about who they are ... it is sad sad sad ...


Updated: 07:43 AM EST

Some Texans Boycott Girl Scout Cookies

By ANGELA K. BROWN, AP


CRAWFORD, Texas (March 3) - Some families are boycotting Thin Mints and Do-Si-Dos and other Girl Scout cookies. Troop 7527 is down to just two members after the other girls were withdrawn by their parents. And Brownie Troop 7087 is no more.



A Christian radio station in Waco aired ads for two weeks urging folks to boycott Girl Scout cookies. (Rod Aydelotte, Waco Tribune Herald/AP)


Why are folks in this conservative Texas town where President Bush has his ranch so mad at the Girl Scout organization?


Planned Parenthood and sex education.


The furor was started a few weeks ago by the leader of the anti-abortion group Pro-Life Waco, who sent out e-mails and ran ads on a Christian radio station urging people to boycott Girl Scout cookies because of the "cozy relationship" between the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood.


Parents were upset to learn that the local Girl Scout organization had given a "woman of distinction award" last year to a Planned Parenthood executive. And they were disturbed to find out that the Girl Scout organization has been giving its endorsement for years to a Planned Parenthood sex-ed program in which girls and boys are given literature on homosexuality, masturbation and condoms.


"It's not that we're a bunch of activists. We're just a bunch of moms who care about their kids," said Lisa Aguilar, who took her 10-year-old daughter out of her eight-member Girl Scout troop. "For us, it's the morality. Where is Girl Scouts going?"




The two troops in Crawford, population 700, decided not to deliver the cookie orders that they had already taken.


But cookie sales have skyrocketed this year as many people bought cases just to show their support for the Girl Scouts, said Becky Parker, a troop leader who is the cookie distributor for Waco-area troops.


"People thought the boycott was ridiculous and was one man's extremist views," Parker said.


While the cookie boycott may have backfired, the furor prompted the parent leaders of the two Crawford troops to quit.


"You're telling these girls to raise their fingers up to pledge to honor God and country, and yet you're handing out materials saying homosexuality is OK," said Brownie leader Donna Coody, who disbanded her five-member troop.


Because of the uproar, the Bluebonnet Council of Girl Scouts, which oversees troops in the Waco area and 13 other counties, announced last week that it would not be affiliated with Planned Parenthood sex-education programs this year.


In an editorial in Friday's Waco Tribune-Herald, Pam Smallwood, the Planned Parenthood of Central Texas executive director who was honored by the Girl Scouts last year, complained that Girl Scouts had thereby demonstrated that "bullying tactics are more effective than an informed democracy."


The Waco-area Girl Scout organization has been putting its name and logo on brochures for the Planned Parenthood sex-education programs but said it does not contribute any money and does not send girls to attend.


Some 400 to 700 fifth- through ninth-graders attend the half-day Nobody's Fool conference in Waco each July. The program never mentions abortion, according to Planned Parenthood. The youngsters receive a book with chapters on homosexuality and masturbation, as well as illustrations of couples having sex, people examining their naked bodies and a boy putting on a condom.


Some Girl Scout mothers called it soft-core porn.


"It embarrassed me to look at it with my husband," said parent Shannon Donaldson.


Pro-Life Waco director John Pisciotta, an economics professor at Baylor, the world's largest Baptist university, said his call for a cookie boycott "was a way to bring attention to the issue and wasn't really about cookies."


The Girl Scouts national organization, which is based in New York and has 2.9 million girl members and 986,000 adult members, takes no position on sex education or abortion and has no national relationship with Planned Parenthood, according to the Bluebonnet Council.


The Crawford mothers are forming their own girls organization and will use a Christian-based curriculum. Beth Vivio, director of the Bluebonnett Council, declined to say if parents in any other troops had taken their daughters out.


Some parents decided to explain abortion to their girls. Others gave only a vague explanation about the uproar.


"Our girls have been through a lot these past three weeks," said Jennifer Smith, who quit as leader of Girl Scout Troop 7527 and removed her daughter. "After I told my 10-year-old daughter that they are supporting some things that are not morally right, she understood."


That girl didn't understand ... that isn't an explanation ... and it didn't give her the option to make up her own mind ... her mother just took away her choice just like she wants to take away everyone's choice ...


it is crazy ... two great organizations for women can't work together or support each other anymore because of some closed minded people in Texas ... fuck that ... fuck fuck fuck that ... you don't want to be a Girl Scout ... or you don't want your daughter being a Girl Scout fine ... but let everyone else make their own fucking decision about what they want to do ...

March 1st

woooohooooo ... March 1st ... alright ... this is my favorite month of the year ... maybe because it turns to spring this month and the warmer the better ... maybe because my birthday is this month and I am a birthday whore ... maybe because oh shit it is cause my birthday is this month ... there is no more to it than that ... and to make things better my birthday is on the first day of spring ... how fucking dandy is that ...


well I am not going to let this good mood go to waste ... I think I'll go bug the cat for a little while ... :)