oh my goodness it is all I can do to stay awake ... I was at work this morning at 6 AM ... even though I hardly slept last night ...


David left for job training this morning at 5:30 AM and won't be home till Friday night ... it is the first time we have been apart this long as pathetic as that sounds ... he will be going up next Monday to Friday and the following as well ... even though I will totally miss him I hope it all works out well for him and that he enjoys himself ... he has been so upset and angry and frustrated about how things are going that he is making himself sick and it worries me ...


today is day 8 of no smoking and I still want one pretty damn bad ... the one thing I wish is for people who have never smoked to stop giving me advice ... if one more never-smoker tells me to "just put it out of my mind" ... "it isn't so bad" ... "if you stop thinking about it it will go away" ... "you are making too much of it" ... I swear I will pop them square in the jaw ... if you have never smoked you have no idea at all what it is like to not do it anymore ...


my dreams have been pretty vivid ... I thought it was from the patch but every morning I find the patch on the floor ... stuck to the sheets or somewhere other than where it was on my body when I went to sleep ...


well this is just pure rambling to keep me awake ... so I just gotta stop ... I wish I could catch a quick nap before anyone else got here ... but I fear if I close my eyes it will be hours before I wake again ... :)