I have never purged myself of so much stuff as I have done with this move ... I have thrown away so much junk and have a huge Rubbermaid thing filled with stuff to sell on ebay ... it feels so good and I am so proud of myself ... but it does prolong the unpacking experience ... which isn't really all that fun ... to say the least ...
well I just needed a little email break before I go and finish the current box I am unpacking ... I sure hope we finish soon so I can take new pictures of the place ... :)
Friday, January 31, 2003
Well today I got confirmation ... this woman called many people within the company and let them know that I was the GM's daughter ... so my secret is out ... I no longer have to have 2 personalities ... sad to see one go ... I liked being judged on my own merits ... I liked that it didn't frighten people to talk to me ... I like that I was just some chick that was doing great at a job that no one else worked hard at ...
I don't like being perceived as a nark or spy or tattle tale ... I don't like that this woman decided not to like me even before my first day of work [for I can be quite likable] ... I don't like that she was such a dumb fucking bitch and went and told people ...
they are fake now ... they are cautious with their words ... they treat me more delicately ... I mean it isn't all that bad what the fuck do I really care ... but why be such a bitch ... I would love to call her house and say "you stupid dumb bitch" on her answering machine ... especially since this is a 43 year old woman that has never seen an R rated movie because of the language ... but I watch out for my karma and it has gone to the companies legal department so I would hate to get the company in trouble ... then I would be the dumb bitch ...
today I have been at this job for 3 months ... so that is a pretty good amount of time to keep a secret ... especially one so big ...
and she did get laid off so there is no more encountering her hostility towards me ... "good riddance to bad apples" ... it just sucks that someone would be so immature ... we did laugh about it a lot today ... cause it is pretty stupid ... but still ... I will no longer be Liz ... I will be Liz the GM's daughter ... ahhh what can ya do ...
for me ... right now ... I can go work on unpacking some boxes and making myself happy with the progress ... I want it all done by weekend's end ...
I don't like being perceived as a nark or spy or tattle tale ... I don't like that this woman decided not to like me even before my first day of work [for I can be quite likable] ... I don't like that she was such a dumb fucking bitch and went and told people ...
they are fake now ... they are cautious with their words ... they treat me more delicately ... I mean it isn't all that bad what the fuck do I really care ... but why be such a bitch ... I would love to call her house and say "you stupid dumb bitch" on her answering machine ... especially since this is a 43 year old woman that has never seen an R rated movie because of the language ... but I watch out for my karma and it has gone to the companies legal department so I would hate to get the company in trouble ... then I would be the dumb bitch ...
today I have been at this job for 3 months ... so that is a pretty good amount of time to keep a secret ... especially one so big ...
and she did get laid off so there is no more encountering her hostility towards me ... "good riddance to bad apples" ... it just sucks that someone would be so immature ... we did laugh about it a lot today ... cause it is pretty stupid ... but still ... I will no longer be Liz ... I will be Liz the GM's daughter ... ahhh what can ya do ...
for me ... right now ... I can go work on unpacking some boxes and making myself happy with the progress ... I want it all done by weekend's end ...
Thursday, January 30, 2003
This has been one rough week ... starting monday night I tossed and turned cause I knew the axe was falling at work ... it was all I could do to get myself into work on Tuesday because I knew it was doomsday ... and since the woman being let go seems to have a huge problem with me the lawyers recommended we not come in contact with each other and avoid all conflict ... easy to say ... hard to do when our office is about the size of my apartment ... but I did my best ... when I saw the 2 hour packing job was almost over and she was putting things in her car I went out into the warehouse until the ordeal was over ...
the 3 of us in the office breathed a sigh of relief ... when there are only 5 people total in your office ... 4 women and a man and the man travels often it is hard when one person hates their job ... hates a coworker ... and stomps around with a sour attitude ... so the 3 girls felt good when it was over ...
now I have kinda mentioned before but I work for the same company as my dad ... he is the GM there ... but not nearly my boss ... he is my boss' boss ... there is no conflict of interest ... I get paid less than the girl that was there before me ... I have double the skill ... work twice as hard ... and go by my first and middle name so very few people know ...
the woman who was laid off felt I was the reason because I was "the boss' daughter" ... that is fine ... even flattering she thinks I have that much power when I am truly the pee-on in the office but whatever ... so in her review she proceeded to write a lot about how horrible I am and how awful it is having to work with "the boss' daughter" ... so some people found out who I was ... fine I can deal with that ... I wanted to be judged on my own merits not on my dad's but whatever I can deal ... we are in the satellite office doing marketing so whatever ...
but yesterday I came to work to find out this person has been calling the sales people ... leaving a message on their voice mail saying "I have something of interest to share with you" ... while working for this company she never interacted with the sales people ... and we have figured out that my real last name is what is so interesting and needs to be shared with these people ...
first off ... my first words were "dumb bitch" ... it is hurtful ... she was told specifically not to share the information ... in all honesty the sales people knowing who I am isn't going to make my life harder ... it would in fact make it easier ... there would be no more snotty letters ... I wouldn't have to beg and cajole to get reports in on time ... and everyone would be sweet to me ... it would be fake as hell and I would hate it ... but it wouldn't make life harder ...
and who calls and leaves a voice mail message when trying to do something underhanded ... you send an anonymous letter ... leave a message and don't say who you are ... I mean come on this is revenge against work 101 ...
just typing this has exhausted me ... I don't want to be treated different at work ... I don't want my dad to take any flack ... I just want her to stop being a force in our work lives ...
but mostly ... right now ... I just want to sleep ...
the 3 of us in the office breathed a sigh of relief ... when there are only 5 people total in your office ... 4 women and a man and the man travels often it is hard when one person hates their job ... hates a coworker ... and stomps around with a sour attitude ... so the 3 girls felt good when it was over ...
now I have kinda mentioned before but I work for the same company as my dad ... he is the GM there ... but not nearly my boss ... he is my boss' boss ... there is no conflict of interest ... I get paid less than the girl that was there before me ... I have double the skill ... work twice as hard ... and go by my first and middle name so very few people know ...
the woman who was laid off felt I was the reason because I was "the boss' daughter" ... that is fine ... even flattering she thinks I have that much power when I am truly the pee-on in the office but whatever ... so in her review she proceeded to write a lot about how horrible I am and how awful it is having to work with "the boss' daughter" ... so some people found out who I was ... fine I can deal with that ... I wanted to be judged on my own merits not on my dad's but whatever I can deal ... we are in the satellite office doing marketing so whatever ...
but yesterday I came to work to find out this person has been calling the sales people ... leaving a message on their voice mail saying "I have something of interest to share with you" ... while working for this company she never interacted with the sales people ... and we have figured out that my real last name is what is so interesting and needs to be shared with these people ...
first off ... my first words were "dumb bitch" ... it is hurtful ... she was told specifically not to share the information ... in all honesty the sales people knowing who I am isn't going to make my life harder ... it would in fact make it easier ... there would be no more snotty letters ... I wouldn't have to beg and cajole to get reports in on time ... and everyone would be sweet to me ... it would be fake as hell and I would hate it ... but it wouldn't make life harder ...
and who calls and leaves a voice mail message when trying to do something underhanded ... you send an anonymous letter ... leave a message and don't say who you are ... I mean come on this is revenge against work 101 ...
just typing this has exhausted me ... I don't want to be treated different at work ... I don't want my dad to take any flack ... I just want her to stop being a force in our work lives ...
but mostly ... right now ... I just want to sleep ...
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
I am a diehard Alias fan ... at this point in life if I were allowed to only pick one show to watch [and god forbid that ever happens] I would choose Alias ... I just watched Sunday's episode [the "big game" ran too long for me to stay up and watch it on Sunday] and it has to be the best episode yet ... Jennifer Garner is so fucking kick ass ... and the story line ... twists ... turns ... plot are awesome ... I stay on the edge of my seat the entire time ... I highly recommend the show ... and I look so forward to next Sunday ... :)
Monday, January 27, 2003
well we are finally in our new place [actually we have been here since Friday] ... what I should say is we finally have internet connection ... we had to go wireless because the only cable outlet in the joint is in the living room and David was going to have no part of wires all over the house ... besides he thinks the wireless is so bitchen ... and since my dad, brother, and I [David] all compete for the coolest computer equipment we are now ahead ... none of them have wireless ... :)
so the place is beautiful ... I've been walking around hardly able to believe I live here ...
the unpacking is going fairly well ... it is taking a bit longer than usual because as I unpack each box I throw away half of what is in it ... I am trying to purge myself of the shit I keep carting from place to place ... I mean with this being my 8th move since 1998 it is time to get rid of some stuff ... this home is pretty permanent for now ... so there is no reason to keep crap that makes me feel I am home no matter where I move ...
for example I have chucked the party crown I wore on New Year's Eve 1999 ... I never do anything on new year's but since I was living in Vegas near Kris she begged me to go out and spend the evening with her and Chevy ... so I obliged and had an alright time [ate too much spicy bean dip and spent the evening after the ball drop on the floor of the bathroom but OK] ... I have this ridiculous toy collection ... probably reminiscent of my Grateful Dead touring days where fun eye candy kept the excitement going ... so the lame toys went in the trash ... the good ones I of course packed in their own little toy box for safe keeping ... mounds of paper and notebooks from school went into the trash ... I mean come on ... the last time I dropped out of school was 1998 ... do I really need notes from my Hotel and Restaurant Management class? ... I didn't need them then what the hell would I need them now for?
David walked by and saw the three huge bags of trash sitting there and had such an impressed look on his face ... made me feel good ... cause I can be a pack rat ... I will admit that ... and there is something quite liberating about getting rid of stuff that you will never miss ... plus I have found some awesome stuff to sell on ebay ... so once we are unpacked the garagebay sales begin ...
but for now I must get back to unpacking before I head off to bed ... tomorrow is going to be a gnarly day at work ... I overheard conversations today of a layoff ... and that is never ever EVER fun to be around for ... trust me ...
so happy to be back online [but fear I will get nothing done now]
so the place is beautiful ... I've been walking around hardly able to believe I live here ...
the unpacking is going fairly well ... it is taking a bit longer than usual because as I unpack each box I throw away half of what is in it ... I am trying to purge myself of the shit I keep carting from place to place ... I mean with this being my 8th move since 1998 it is time to get rid of some stuff ... this home is pretty permanent for now ... so there is no reason to keep crap that makes me feel I am home no matter where I move ...
for example I have chucked the party crown I wore on New Year's Eve 1999 ... I never do anything on new year's but since I was living in Vegas near Kris she begged me to go out and spend the evening with her and Chevy ... so I obliged and had an alright time [ate too much spicy bean dip and spent the evening after the ball drop on the floor of the bathroom but OK] ... I have this ridiculous toy collection ... probably reminiscent of my Grateful Dead touring days where fun eye candy kept the excitement going ... so the lame toys went in the trash ... the good ones I of course packed in their own little toy box for safe keeping ... mounds of paper and notebooks from school went into the trash ... I mean come on ... the last time I dropped out of school was 1998 ... do I really need notes from my Hotel and Restaurant Management class? ... I didn't need them then what the hell would I need them now for?
David walked by and saw the three huge bags of trash sitting there and had such an impressed look on his face ... made me feel good ... cause I can be a pack rat ... I will admit that ... and there is something quite liberating about getting rid of stuff that you will never miss ... plus I have found some awesome stuff to sell on ebay ... so once we are unpacked the garagebay sales begin ...
but for now I must get back to unpacking before I head off to bed ... tomorrow is going to be a gnarly day at work ... I overheard conversations today of a layoff ... and that is never ever EVER fun to be around for ... trust me ...
so happy to be back online [but fear I will get nothing done now]
Thursday, January 23, 2003
I am much happier since my last post ... just stressed out to the max ...
the woman in question has changed her attitude and we are all getting along in the office ... sure makes it more fun going to work ...
tomorrow is moving day and I have been a looser about packing ... leaving a host of things to be shoved in boxes tonight ... as I see it right now I won't get to sleep till we get the bed put together tomorrow in the new place ... but who knows ... maybe I can stop procrastinating and get some shit done ...
the movers are going to be here at 8:30 tomorrow morning ... that means I have 16 hours to get everything done ... I have survived on very little sleep this week but I'll make it up over the weekend ... and I do have tomorrow off so I don't have to get up at 4:30 AM if I do get some sleep I could sleep in till a whopping 7 AM ... that is like weekend sleep ... woohoo ...
so David is on his way to the post office and I am going to try and get something impressive done while he is gone ... little goals ... that is what I have to do ... set little goals for myself ... :)
the woman in question has changed her attitude and we are all getting along in the office ... sure makes it more fun going to work ...
tomorrow is moving day and I have been a looser about packing ... leaving a host of things to be shoved in boxes tonight ... as I see it right now I won't get to sleep till we get the bed put together tomorrow in the new place ... but who knows ... maybe I can stop procrastinating and get some shit done ...
the movers are going to be here at 8:30 tomorrow morning ... that means I have 16 hours to get everything done ... I have survived on very little sleep this week but I'll make it up over the weekend ... and I do have tomorrow off so I don't have to get up at 4:30 AM if I do get some sleep I could sleep in till a whopping 7 AM ... that is like weekend sleep ... woohoo ...
so David is on his way to the post office and I am going to try and get something impressive done while he is gone ... little goals ... that is what I have to do ... set little goals for myself ... :)
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
I hate writing when I am tearing up but it seems to be the best time to write ... just get it all out ...
when I say I do my best each day to make people feel good about themselves ... or to help people in need ... to smile at strangers ... or to be here to listen ... I am totally serious ... I will say it comes a bit naturally to me for I have been like that since I was a child ... but at the same time I work hard at it ...
so when out of the blue I find out someone hates their lot in life due in most part to me I am crushed ... it doesn't matter that it isn't someone I am close with or someone I don't think is a good person ... it hurts ...
all day I fought off tears at work ... to see someone go out of their way to make me feel bad when I have been nothing but kind and generous floors me ... and that is what I am dealing with ...
right now I have those questions about karma ... it is something I believe in quite strongly until a day like today ...
when I broke my leg I encountered so many cold people ... people that would actually watch me struggle to do simple things without lifting a finger to help me ... I actually had a Salvation Army collector ringing her bell in front of the supermarket watch me struggle and stumble and catch myself while getting a shopping cart and then say "damn that can't be easy" ... [no it isn't fucking easy and you could have taken a moment to make my life a hell of a lot easier] ... that same day I witnessed a grocery stocker watch me hop on one leg, grab some coffee, hop back to my cart put it in, hop back to the shelf grab more coffee, hop back to my cart ... I did this because 1) she left her dolly in front of the coffee I was reaching for and 2) because she just stepped back and didn't offer to help or move her dolly ... then she said "wow that has got to be hard" ... do these people have brains ...
I learned a lot from that broken leg ... I have since seen people in the same situation and offered to grocery shop with them ... they use their crutches and we walk down the isle together ... I mean I am there anyway right ... why not have some company and ease someone's burden a bit ...
I mean only giving good I should only get good back right? I know I need to smell shit so that a whiff of roses smells sweet ... and I realize I have it soooooooo good ... I mean sooooooo good ... I may bitch about stuff in my life but I could never curse the life I have had ... but why are there people out there that deliberately do things to hurt others ...
work was so amazingly uncomfortable today ... a woman there went out of her way to slight me ... to make me look bad ... and to make me feel bad ... all in a matter of hours ... could that energy be spent on better things? ... isn't doing shit to other people a waste of your own life? what would be the point?
I have worked hard my whole life ... I was never very good in school ... and to be honest I only passed classes cause my teachers liked me ... it almost rarely was a reflection of my true grade in the class ... so I took work seriously ... and always gave it my all ... so it is a place I don't want to feel uncomfortable ... and tonight I am already not looking forward to being there tomorrow ... to know my presence makes someone miserable ... and to know that her misery brings down the whole office ... it is a shitty circle that we spun around in all day ...
I do feel a bit better purging myself of the stuff that has been going on in my head all day ... but that also means I need to get back to work packing up my shit ... moving day is Friday ya know ... not much time left ... :)
when I say I do my best each day to make people feel good about themselves ... or to help people in need ... to smile at strangers ... or to be here to listen ... I am totally serious ... I will say it comes a bit naturally to me for I have been like that since I was a child ... but at the same time I work hard at it ...
so when out of the blue I find out someone hates their lot in life due in most part to me I am crushed ... it doesn't matter that it isn't someone I am close with or someone I don't think is a good person ... it hurts ...
all day I fought off tears at work ... to see someone go out of their way to make me feel bad when I have been nothing but kind and generous floors me ... and that is what I am dealing with ...
right now I have those questions about karma ... it is something I believe in quite strongly until a day like today ...
when I broke my leg I encountered so many cold people ... people that would actually watch me struggle to do simple things without lifting a finger to help me ... I actually had a Salvation Army collector ringing her bell in front of the supermarket watch me struggle and stumble and catch myself while getting a shopping cart and then say "damn that can't be easy" ... [no it isn't fucking easy and you could have taken a moment to make my life a hell of a lot easier] ... that same day I witnessed a grocery stocker watch me hop on one leg, grab some coffee, hop back to my cart put it in, hop back to the shelf grab more coffee, hop back to my cart ... I did this because 1) she left her dolly in front of the coffee I was reaching for and 2) because she just stepped back and didn't offer to help or move her dolly ... then she said "wow that has got to be hard" ... do these people have brains ...
I learned a lot from that broken leg ... I have since seen people in the same situation and offered to grocery shop with them ... they use their crutches and we walk down the isle together ... I mean I am there anyway right ... why not have some company and ease someone's burden a bit ...
I mean only giving good I should only get good back right? I know I need to smell shit so that a whiff of roses smells sweet ... and I realize I have it soooooooo good ... I mean sooooooo good ... I may bitch about stuff in my life but I could never curse the life I have had ... but why are there people out there that deliberately do things to hurt others ...
work was so amazingly uncomfortable today ... a woman there went out of her way to slight me ... to make me look bad ... and to make me feel bad ... all in a matter of hours ... could that energy be spent on better things? ... isn't doing shit to other people a waste of your own life? what would be the point?
I have worked hard my whole life ... I was never very good in school ... and to be honest I only passed classes cause my teachers liked me ... it almost rarely was a reflection of my true grade in the class ... so I took work seriously ... and always gave it my all ... so it is a place I don't want to feel uncomfortable ... and tonight I am already not looking forward to being there tomorrow ... to know my presence makes someone miserable ... and to know that her misery brings down the whole office ... it is a shitty circle that we spun around in all day ...
I do feel a bit better purging myself of the stuff that has been going on in my head all day ... but that also means I need to get back to work packing up my shit ... moving day is Friday ya know ... not much time left ... :)
Monday, January 20, 2003
Have you ever sat and engulfed yourself in the dream of winning the lottery ...
what is it you dream about?
My dream consists paying my parents back for all the help they have given me throughout the years ... I would like to stop by my brother and sister-in-law's condo with a check for them to buy a house ... then I see David and I getting on a plane and flying to New York so we can pay off David's dad's house ... help both Kevin and Drew buy homes ... then get on a plane and fly to Kansas where I could surprise Heather and help her buy a house ... take her with us to Las Vegas where I pay off Kris' house and both her cars ...
without rent/mortgage so many people could live a higher quality of life ... I would love to be the person that helped them all do that ...
I wouldn't quit my job because I know I am needed and I have fun there most of the time ... but I would love to take a little time off [without pay of course] and finally go to Europe with David ... it has been his dream forever and I would love to experience it with him ...
but I know my life wouldn't change much ... there would be no going crazy ... there would just be the bliss of not worrying about paying my bills each month ... and being able to do something for the people in my life that I care about ...
I know it is a pipe dream ... but it is one I have often ... when I hear how sad and frustrated my friends are about money ... to take part of that fear away would bring so much joy to so many people ...
it would be a great dream to fulfill ... that is for sure ...
what is it you dream about?
My dream consists paying my parents back for all the help they have given me throughout the years ... I would like to stop by my brother and sister-in-law's condo with a check for them to buy a house ... then I see David and I getting on a plane and flying to New York so we can pay off David's dad's house ... help both Kevin and Drew buy homes ... then get on a plane and fly to Kansas where I could surprise Heather and help her buy a house ... take her with us to Las Vegas where I pay off Kris' house and both her cars ...
without rent/mortgage so many people could live a higher quality of life ... I would love to be the person that helped them all do that ...
I wouldn't quit my job because I know I am needed and I have fun there most of the time ... but I would love to take a little time off [without pay of course] and finally go to Europe with David ... it has been his dream forever and I would love to experience it with him ...
but I know my life wouldn't change much ... there would be no going crazy ... there would just be the bliss of not worrying about paying my bills each month ... and being able to do something for the people in my life that I care about ...
I know it is a pipe dream ... but it is one I have often ... when I hear how sad and frustrated my friends are about money ... to take part of that fear away would bring so much joy to so many people ...
it would be a great dream to fulfill ... that is for sure ...
Sunday, January 19, 2003
Well I got up to start packing our books up ... good place to start ... bunch of stuff we don't immediately need ... only to learn that when the basement flooded the cleaning company threw away all the boxes I had saved from our last move ... it was enough to pack everything up ... and a good bit of money ... now we are screwed ... I was going to throw them all away after this move ... now I can't buy boxes just to throw them away in a week ... I can't believe I am about to leave the house to buy more ... I had not figured this into our expenses for the move or this month ... bummer
The Japander I have just had a blast checking out this site ... of course it is another way to procrastinate ... but it has ads celebrities have done in Japan ... and they hawk these products with the clear understanding that the ads will never be shown in the United States ... now thanks to the internet and some devoted people in Japan we can see what the celebrities don't want us to see ... promoting canned coffee in search of the almighty dollar ... Brad Pitt seems to be the worst offender ... there are a good 3 pages of ads for him ... it was all quite entertaining ... and I can see why Arnold Schwarzenegger's lawyers are fighting so hard to have the sites removed ... enjoy!!
I forgot to mention how fucking amazing our new vacuum is ... holy cow ... it is crazy ... I was excited to try it out so I plugged the sucker in and just pushed it around a bit ... and the canister was filled in no time ... this is after using a shop vac on the carpet and having them cleaned ... I can't wait to vacuum the whole place ...
and we got cable hooked up yesterday ... yowza I am excited ... and the modem is hooked up but since there are no computers there we aren't quite sure if it is working ... now we just need to move ... hummm what is it I was supposed to do for that ...
oh yea PACK and have I done any of that ... ahhhhh I think not ...
so I guess that means I need to go get a Starbucks ... yea that sounds about right ...
and we got cable hooked up yesterday ... yowza I am excited ... and the modem is hooked up but since there are no computers there we aren't quite sure if it is working ... now we just need to move ... hummm what is it I was supposed to do for that ...
oh yea PACK and have I done any of that ... ahhhhh I think not ...
so I guess that means I need to go get a Starbucks ... yea that sounds about right ...
Saturday, January 18, 2003
I am officially stressing out ... big time ... we have hired movers for next Friday and the only things that are packed are the things we never unpacked when we moved here ... which isn't very much ... and I just keep looking around the house like I am stoned and can't use my muscles ...
my friend Kris was trying to tell me it isn't that bad moving ... I laughed and starting counting ... in the time she has lived in her house I have lived in her house I have lived in 4 states ... 5 cities and I am about to move into my 8th place ... and that is since 1998 ... at this point I should be a minimalist [which I am not] ... I should have a total system to moving [which I don't] ... and it shouldn't stress me out anymore [which it does] ...
OK so instead of being smart and start packing right this minute ... I am going to go work on an art project I have been thinking about for a while now ... once I get bored with that I will start some packing ...
damn this blog should be called lizziesPROCRASTINATINGlife.com
my friend Kris was trying to tell me it isn't that bad moving ... I laughed and starting counting ... in the time she has lived in her house I have lived in her house I have lived in 4 states ... 5 cities and I am about to move into my 8th place ... and that is since 1998 ... at this point I should be a minimalist [which I am not] ... I should have a total system to moving [which I don't] ... and it shouldn't stress me out anymore [which it does] ...
OK so instead of being smart and start packing right this minute ... I am going to go work on an art project I have been thinking about for a while now ... once I get bored with that I will start some packing ...
damn this blog should be called lizziesPROCRASTINATINGlife.com
There are two personalities of myself that are separating themselves ... and it is getting a bit confusing ...
the job I took is with the same company my dad works for ... I didn't want to do it but when times are tough sometimes you have to take what is offered and Marianne has been begging me for 2 years to come and work for her ...
My dad is the general manager of the division I work for ... luckily we are in different offices or I wouldn't be able to do this ... only the 5 people in my office know I am his daughter ... I don't even use my real last name at work ... I go by my first and middle name ...
I am also the web designer for their company website ... through that connection they know I am one of the GM's daughter ... but they like my work and hired me ... I submitted a proposal like everyone else under my company name but they probably knew it was me ... who cares I have the job and I work hard ...
but now I talk to people through my 9-5 job as one name ... and I talk to many of those same people through my web job under a different name ...
I have learned to write emails differently so as not to cause suspicion ... I never use the [...] at work like I do so much everywhere else ...
I answer the phone at work in what can be described as a phone-sex-operator voice ... soft and professional because I have such a distinguishable voice ... I once called a friend I hadn't spoken to in 10 years and when I said "Hi is this Sean" he said ... "Liz ... holy crap you sound just the same" ... without me telling him it was me ... so I try to be careful at work ...
when I know the web people are lying to me about things happening to the company I can't say anything but they are things I wouldn't know ... but I do know they are lying to me ...
it is just such a weird situation ... sometimes it is hard to remember what I am supposed to know ... I don't want to become two different people ... I like the one person I am now ... but people wouldn't treat me the same at work if they know ... my dad is revered there ... everyone loves him and fears him a bit ... the sales people I deal with on a daily basis would change ... Marianne and I know once I get sticky sweet emails they will have figured out who I am ...
but the woman in my office that seems to hate it there ... and in particular hate me ... well she had her review yesterday ... and even though they were behind closed doors our office is small and I could hear a lot of it ... it also helped that they yelled a lot ... but I heard her say ... "It is an unfortunate coincidence that I started to hate my job so much once Liz started working here" ... I don't particularly like her ... I think she takes advantage of the job ... goofs off a lot ... is cold to everyone ... but that hurt my feelings .. I have only been nice to her ... I make sure to see if she wants to order lunch with us ... and I am always polite ... there was no reason for that except that I am the bosses daughter ...
the job I took is with the same company my dad works for ... I didn't want to do it but when times are tough sometimes you have to take what is offered and Marianne has been begging me for 2 years to come and work for her ...
My dad is the general manager of the division I work for ... luckily we are in different offices or I wouldn't be able to do this ... only the 5 people in my office know I am his daughter ... I don't even use my real last name at work ... I go by my first and middle name ...
I am also the web designer for their company website ... through that connection they know I am one of the GM's daughter ... but they like my work and hired me ... I submitted a proposal like everyone else under my company name but they probably knew it was me ... who cares I have the job and I work hard ...
but now I talk to people through my 9-5 job as one name ... and I talk to many of those same people through my web job under a different name ...
I have learned to write emails differently so as not to cause suspicion ... I never use the [...] at work like I do so much everywhere else ...
I answer the phone at work in what can be described as a phone-sex-operator voice ... soft and professional because I have such a distinguishable voice ... I once called a friend I hadn't spoken to in 10 years and when I said "Hi is this Sean" he said ... "Liz ... holy crap you sound just the same" ... without me telling him it was me ... so I try to be careful at work ...
when I know the web people are lying to me about things happening to the company I can't say anything but they are things I wouldn't know ... but I do know they are lying to me ...
it is just such a weird situation ... sometimes it is hard to remember what I am supposed to know ... I don't want to become two different people ... I like the one person I am now ... but people wouldn't treat me the same at work if they know ... my dad is revered there ... everyone loves him and fears him a bit ... the sales people I deal with on a daily basis would change ... Marianne and I know once I get sticky sweet emails they will have figured out who I am ...
but the woman in my office that seems to hate it there ... and in particular hate me ... well she had her review yesterday ... and even though they were behind closed doors our office is small and I could hear a lot of it ... it also helped that they yelled a lot ... but I heard her say ... "It is an unfortunate coincidence that I started to hate my job so much once Liz started working here" ... I don't particularly like her ... I think she takes advantage of the job ... goofs off a lot ... is cold to everyone ... but that hurt my feelings .. I have only been nice to her ... I make sure to see if she wants to order lunch with us ... and I am always polite ... there was no reason for that except that I am the bosses daughter ...
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
woohoo I got a vacuum cleaner today ... such exciting stuff in my life ... :)
I made a quick CostCo run today on the way home from work to pick up a new coat for my grandmother ... and as I was walking to the register I saw the vacuum Stacy suggested ... little ... yellow ... bagless ... and it was 33 bucks ... you can hardly beat that ... I haven't tried it yet since we aren't moved in yet ... but this weekend I think it might be the time ...
I also booked a mover today ... we are going to move in on January 24th ... I can hardly believe it ... I feel so bad cause my mom will be lonely once we move out ... that it looses some of its excitement ... but at the same time the condo is so great I want to move in there ... at least we are only 10 minutes away ... and the guy gave me a great deal on the cost of movers ... I've been told I have a phone sex operator voice so I guess when booking a mover that helps ... :)
I also called about getting cable hooked up in the new place ... we are on our way baby ...
and when I checked the mail tonight ... I had my new InStyle magazine and guess who was on the cover ... Drew Barrymore ... god I love her ... so strong ... so smart ... so damn hot ... what a package ...
so for now it is time for bed ... up early tomorrow since the temp agency has David working again ... and he went to bed hours ago ... he was the smart one tonight ...
I sure hope everyone is happy ... that is my wish for tonight ... :)
I made a quick CostCo run today on the way home from work to pick up a new coat for my grandmother ... and as I was walking to the register I saw the vacuum Stacy suggested ... little ... yellow ... bagless ... and it was 33 bucks ... you can hardly beat that ... I haven't tried it yet since we aren't moved in yet ... but this weekend I think it might be the time ...
I also booked a mover today ... we are going to move in on January 24th ... I can hardly believe it ... I feel so bad cause my mom will be lonely once we move out ... that it looses some of its excitement ... but at the same time the condo is so great I want to move in there ... at least we are only 10 minutes away ... and the guy gave me a great deal on the cost of movers ... I've been told I have a phone sex operator voice so I guess when booking a mover that helps ... :)
I also called about getting cable hooked up in the new place ... we are on our way baby ...
and when I checked the mail tonight ... I had my new InStyle magazine and guess who was on the cover ... Drew Barrymore ... god I love her ... so strong ... so smart ... so damn hot ... what a package ...
so for now it is time for bed ... up early tomorrow since the temp agency has David working again ... and he went to bed hours ago ... he was the smart one tonight ...
I sure hope everyone is happy ... that is my wish for tonight ... :)
Monday, January 13, 2003
Why are fire engines red?
Well, roses are red too.
And two and two are four.
Four and eight are twelve.
There are twelve inches in a ruler.
Now Queen Mary was a ruler.
Queen Mary was also a ship.
Ships sail on the sea.
Fish swim in the sea.
Fish have fins.
The Finns fought the Russians.
The Russians are red.
Fire engines are always rushin'.
And that's why fire engines are red!
Well, roses are red too.
And two and two are four.
Four and eight are twelve.
There are twelve inches in a ruler.
Now Queen Mary was a ruler.
Queen Mary was also a ship.
Ships sail on the sea.
Fish swim in the sea.
Fish have fins.
The Finns fought the Russians.
The Russians are red.
Fire engines are always rushin'.
And that's why fire engines are red!
Sunday, January 12, 2003
yesterday was quite interesting ... we went to the condo early and began building our new furniture ... the chairs came out awesome ... the TV stand kicks ass and made me excited to finish ... first bookcase is beautiful ... second [and last thing to build] ... sucks ... the screw on the bottom didn't catch hold so there are gaps ... which makes the doors lopsided ... which makes David crazy ...
so today we are going back to IKEA in Virginia and return it ... gonna be hella-hard to get this huge thing in the car ... but after we do we will get a new one and put that together ...
we did take a little road trip last night ... we drove to IKEA Baltimore ... I feel so bad for anyone that has only visited this IKEA ... it is really a sad excuse for an IKEA store ... but we had to go ... they had the table in that we really wanted that was sold out in VA ...
we did totally luck out though ... some station we flipped to was playing "8-track flashback" and some groovy tunes were playing all night ... good for the long drive ...
so David is now ready so we are off to hoist thing huge thing into the car ... :)
so today we are going back to IKEA in Virginia and return it ... gonna be hella-hard to get this huge thing in the car ... but after we do we will get a new one and put that together ...
we did take a little road trip last night ... we drove to IKEA Baltimore ... I feel so bad for anyone that has only visited this IKEA ... it is really a sad excuse for an IKEA store ... but we had to go ... they had the table in that we really wanted that was sold out in VA ...
we did totally luck out though ... some station we flipped to was playing "8-track flashback" and some groovy tunes were playing all night ... good for the long drive ...
so David is now ready so we are off to hoist thing huge thing into the car ... :)
Saturday, January 11, 2003
I am pretty impressed ... my clock says 10:05 AM and we have all the ebay auctions we need to send today boxed up ... and we are ready to go to the condo to set up all our new IKEA furniture ... I am looking forward to that ... but not to carrying it all up 4 flights of stairs ... the boxes are fucking heavy ... but we need them out of the car 'cause they are killing our gas mileage ...
so tonight I should have some new pictures of the condo taking shape ... I can't believe we are getting close to move in ... woohoo ... it is so unreal to me ...
so tonight I should have some new pictures of the condo taking shape ... I can't believe we are getting close to move in ... woohoo ... it is so unreal to me ...
Friday, January 10, 2003
I just wrote a letter to a friend in Cali asking about the Santa Ana winds
there are 2 weather conditions I just love ... Santa Ana winds ... and snow ... and you can't live in one place and experience both as regular weather occurrences ... as I sat here thinking about how great it was as a child to feel that hot wind blowing I decided to go outside and have a cig ... and to my surprise it was snowing ... for a brief moment it felt like I experienced both ...
I spent 25 years in California ... it is still the only place in the US where I don't get lost ... it has to be the easiest place to get around ... there is a rhyme and reason to everything there ... there are some days I really really miss living out there ... it was good to move away and experience life elsewhere ... and I don't picture myself ever moving back ... but I have such amazing memories of the place ...
there are some things you can only get there ... like In-N-Out Burger ... until you have eaten there you have no idea how great a hamburger can taste ... or that homemade fries could be so amazing ... and Wahoo's Fish Tacos ... they make the most incredible black beans ... and Disneyland ... there is seriously no place like it on earth ... I don't care how old you are once you walk through the front gates you are a kid and the world has just opened up ... the Orange County Swap Meet ... where Kris and I worked during our entire adolescence is the most kick ass outdoor market place [at least it was during the 80's and beginning of the 90's] ... I never lived farther than 20 minutes from IKEA and worked at the one in the City of Industry ... hanging out at the Huntington Pier or the Balboa peninsula were amazing experiences ...
I could go on forever ... it is the greatest place ... and I think one has to live there to know how amazing it really is ... sure it can be a groovy place to visit ... but there is nothing like living there ... no matter where I was living in California ... the place is great ...
there are 2 weather conditions I just love ... Santa Ana winds ... and snow ... and you can't live in one place and experience both as regular weather occurrences ... as I sat here thinking about how great it was as a child to feel that hot wind blowing I decided to go outside and have a cig ... and to my surprise it was snowing ... for a brief moment it felt like I experienced both ...
I spent 25 years in California ... it is still the only place in the US where I don't get lost ... it has to be the easiest place to get around ... there is a rhyme and reason to everything there ... there are some days I really really miss living out there ... it was good to move away and experience life elsewhere ... and I don't picture myself ever moving back ... but I have such amazing memories of the place ...
there are some things you can only get there ... like In-N-Out Burger ... until you have eaten there you have no idea how great a hamburger can taste ... or that homemade fries could be so amazing ... and Wahoo's Fish Tacos ... they make the most incredible black beans ... and Disneyland ... there is seriously no place like it on earth ... I don't care how old you are once you walk through the front gates you are a kid and the world has just opened up ... the Orange County Swap Meet ... where Kris and I worked during our entire adolescence is the most kick ass outdoor market place [at least it was during the 80's and beginning of the 90's] ... I never lived farther than 20 minutes from IKEA and worked at the one in the City of Industry ... hanging out at the Huntington Pier or the Balboa peninsula were amazing experiences ...
I could go on forever ... it is the greatest place ... and I think one has to live there to know how amazing it really is ... sure it can be a groovy place to visit ... but there is nothing like living there ... no matter where I was living in California ... the place is great ...
Thursday, January 9, 2003
does anyone have a suggestion for a vacuum? ... when David and I were moving from New York our vacuum caught on fire sucking up all the cat hair that we had neglected under the bed ... so now that we are about to move we need to find a new one ... and there are so many to choose from I have no idea where to start ... so please anyone that has used a vacuum you love ... let me know ... :)
Well I feel like writing again because I went back to a simple design ... :)
On Tuesday night David and I went to IKEA and got our new furniture ... woohoo ... life is so amazing and we are so lucky ... 2 years ago we were both out of jobs ... selling our shit on ebay to go buy groceries ... and now we have jobs ... some money in the bank and we got to buy a couch ... you know we haven't ever had our own couch ... I want to cry I feel so lucky at this moment ...
so we got a couch and 2 chairs ... an entertainment center and some shelves ... it was a productive trip and it means we are one step closer into moving into our new place ... right now the tentative date is January 25th ... we'll see how that goes ...
and I want to mention something just so I never forget it ... on the way home last night we were at a stop light and a guy was selling flowers ... I looked at David and said "ya gonna get me flowers?" and he said "you want some?" ... as he started to reach for his wallet ... I smiled and said no but the thought was so sweet ... as I turned away I noticed the guy at stopped at my window and was just starting to walk away ... I said to David "did he stop at our car when I looked at you?" and he said "yes ... he can see love" ... :)
On Tuesday night David and I went to IKEA and got our new furniture ... woohoo ... life is so amazing and we are so lucky ... 2 years ago we were both out of jobs ... selling our shit on ebay to go buy groceries ... and now we have jobs ... some money in the bank and we got to buy a couch ... you know we haven't ever had our own couch ... I want to cry I feel so lucky at this moment ...
so we got a couch and 2 chairs ... an entertainment center and some shelves ... it was a productive trip and it means we are one step closer into moving into our new place ... right now the tentative date is January 25th ... we'll see how that goes ...
and I want to mention something just so I never forget it ... on the way home last night we were at a stop light and a guy was selling flowers ... I looked at David and said "ya gonna get me flowers?" and he said "you want some?" ... as he started to reach for his wallet ... I smiled and said no but the thought was so sweet ... as I turned away I noticed the guy at stopped at my window and was just starting to walk away ... I said to David "did he stop at our car when I looked at you?" and he said "yes ... he can see love" ... :)
Wednesday, January 8, 2003
Monday, January 6, 2003
Friday, January 3, 2003
I can't even begin to explain how insanely bored I am right now ... it is the kind of bored where you want to ram something sharp through your skull to see if you can even feel it ...
and the boredom isn't occurring cause I am not smoking and need to find new ways to spend my time cause I am smoking ... yesterday was a false start ... I made it 12 hours and then had a cig ... then David went out and bought a pack ... then we stopped and got a pack this morning when he took me to work ... so we are going to try again tomorrow ...
wow I just got the nicest surprise ... nothing sounded good to eat today ... so I was just going to skip it ... get something later ... and one of the women in the office went out to get lunch and brought stuff back for me ... without even asking ... and ya know when I saw her walk in I thought ... "ohhhh I should have gotten something that looks so good" ...
so I guess my boredom has broken for a little while ... although in less than an hour I will have to stand outside in the pouring rain and wait for the bus ... David is working on the condo and just doesn't feel like driving back up here today ... and I don't blame him ... it is fricken miserable outside ...
and the boredom isn't occurring cause I am not smoking and need to find new ways to spend my time cause I am smoking ... yesterday was a false start ... I made it 12 hours and then had a cig ... then David went out and bought a pack ... then we stopped and got a pack this morning when he took me to work ... so we are going to try again tomorrow ...
wow I just got the nicest surprise ... nothing sounded good to eat today ... so I was just going to skip it ... get something later ... and one of the women in the office went out to get lunch and brought stuff back for me ... without even asking ... and ya know when I saw her walk in I thought ... "ohhhh I should have gotten something that looks so good" ...
so I guess my boredom has broken for a little while ... although in less than an hour I will have to stand outside in the pouring rain and wait for the bus ... David is working on the condo and just doesn't feel like driving back up here today ... and I don't blame him ... it is fricken miserable outside ...
Thursday, January 2, 2003
My brother sent this article to me with the subject "right on another vote for turbo tax" ... and my thought was ... "woohoo for bad credit" ... even with all my information anyone applying for anything would get turned down ... hahahaaaa
I woke up around 2:30 in the morning and had another cig ... I was dreaming about quitting ... and I wasn't even wearing the patch yet ... in my dream my ex [for some reason] had a desk in our apartment and a bedroom upstairs in my parents house ... but I was realizing I hadn't seen him in years ... and there were all the cigs around but all I could find is broken ones ... and I was so pissed ... it was starting to really bother me that it was waking me up ...
well when I got up David was already up ... he said he couldn't sleep he was having dreams about quitting ... so we went out and had a smoke together ...
and now that I am withdrawing so badly right now I wish I had had 3 when I woke up ...
so I have the patch on ... I am eating pistachios like they are going out of style ... and I am loving the "cream savers" candy ... but the desire to have a cig is so strong ... I hate the quitting ...
I keep saying ... there is amazing hospital in Cali where heroin or other narcotic addicts can go ... they put them under ... pump stuff through them that has them go through their detox in 24 hours ... so the terribly horrible part is over with in 24 hours and while you are asleep ... if they did this for smokers they would make a fortune ... I would pay good money for that ... to put these first 3 days through in 24 hours while I am asleep ... I was shaking early because I needed a smoke so badly ...
and I miscalculated how much we spend ... cause we spend 16 bucks a day ... I was smoking almost 2 packs a day ... it was hard to realize since Davie and I smoke the same brand so we are both working out of the same box ...
ok ... enough smoke talk ... I was just trying to get past this last craving ... even though the next one is fast approaching ... :)
well when I got up David was already up ... he said he couldn't sleep he was having dreams about quitting ... so we went out and had a smoke together ...
and now that I am withdrawing so badly right now I wish I had had 3 when I woke up ...
so I have the patch on ... I am eating pistachios like they are going out of style ... and I am loving the "cream savers" candy ... but the desire to have a cig is so strong ... I hate the quitting ...
I keep saying ... there is amazing hospital in Cali where heroin or other narcotic addicts can go ... they put them under ... pump stuff through them that has them go through their detox in 24 hours ... so the terribly horrible part is over with in 24 hours and while you are asleep ... if they did this for smokers they would make a fortune ... I would pay good money for that ... to put these first 3 days through in 24 hours while I am asleep ... I was shaking early because I needed a smoke so badly ...
and I miscalculated how much we spend ... cause we spend 16 bucks a day ... I was smoking almost 2 packs a day ... it was hard to realize since Davie and I smoke the same brand so we are both working out of the same box ...
ok ... enough smoke talk ... I was just trying to get past this last craving ... even though the next one is fast approaching ... :)
Wednesday, January 1, 2003
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This is how serious we are about quitting ... 8 boxes of patches $127 worth ... and the biggest bags of hard candy and pistachios we could find at CostCo ... in fact I am going to stop there on the way home tomorrow and get more hard candy and nuts ... just to make sure ...
we spend about $12 a day on cigs ... so that 12 bucks is going into a laptop fund ... which means we could get one in about 2.5 months ... and after that we are starting a new digital camera fund ... ohhhhh all the ways I could spend $4500 in a year ...
well I am off to smoke my last cigarette ... wow ... it is sad and exciting all at the same time ... it is the last time I will feel the beautiful smoke filling my lungs ... the sound of the burn ... the dreamy way the smoke exits my mouth ... all of that is over ...
but for a good cause ... I will have more money ... I will be healthier ... I will live longer ... and maybe by the end of the year I will be on my way to bringing a new life into the world ...
I thought I would have my new site up today ... I am close but no cigar ... I will probably have it ready to post tomorrow ... but I needed to write tonight so am just leaving part of the old page up ...
I just smoked one of my last cigs ... I will probably have two more before I go to sleep and then that is it ... I can hardly believe I am writing that but it is true ... when I wake up tomorrow morning I will be slapping a patch on ... stuffing my bag full of hard candy ... and won't smoke anymore ...
and I will be leaving the patch on while I sleep to help the morning cravings so I will soon be having the vivid patch dreams like Gregg ... which could lead to some interesting blog entries ...
ok I need to go smoke another one ... so I can get two in before I am finished forever ... :)
I just smoked one of my last cigs ... I will probably have two more before I go to sleep and then that is it ... I can hardly believe I am writing that but it is true ... when I wake up tomorrow morning I will be slapping a patch on ... stuffing my bag full of hard candy ... and won't smoke anymore ...
and I will be leaving the patch on while I sleep to help the morning cravings so I will soon be having the vivid patch dreams like Gregg ... which could lead to some interesting blog entries ...
ok I need to go smoke another one ... so I can get two in before I am finished forever ... :)
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