Fabulous Four Days

The last 4 days have been absolutely fabulous ... Thursday I got my first snow day this season ... we probably could have gone into work just fine because the roads were above freezing and the snow didn't start sticking till around 2 ... but all of us wanted the snow day ... so we took it ...

Friday I got to leave work 4 hours early ... just half a day there which was fabulous ... I had a dentist appointment to get my permanant crowns ... first 2 I have ever gotten and it was the climax of 6 months of terrible dental problems ... it is SO GREAT to not have to worry any more ... no more chewing carfully ... searing pain ... from the first of September to February 25th it has been a slippery slope on what I could do ... and now ... NO WORRIES ... it is fabulous ... I couldn't be happier ...

Saturday David and I met my brother, his wife and daughter at the American History Museum to see their America on the Move display ... it was fantastic ... we also got to see Julia Childs kitchen which was a great exhibit ... We had lunch and gilato while at the museum and Ellie was just a character all day ... I love that little girl ... after the museum we all headed to my parents house for dinner ... David fixed chicken on the grill and we watched a video we took at the museum ... it was a great day all around ...

Today we cleaned house and relaxed ... it was a nice Sunday for sure ... and it looks as if I might get my second snow day ... reports say it is going to be a great snow and tonight I will be going to bed like a kid waiting for Santa ... I wake up so early in anticipation of a snow day ... :)

Quote of the Day

"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Quote of the Day

"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough."
Lao-Tzu

What ... no tip?

This morning the Starbucks I go to was having trouble with their registers ... so the 8 people in front of me got their coffee for free ... everyone I could see had cash in their hand ... do you know not one of them put money in the tip jar ... they just got a free coffee and didn't tip anything at all???

Now I go every day ... and about half of mine I get for free or half the price ... every time I have ever gone in there with cash I tip them ... something ... they offer me a great cup of coffee and are always pleasent to me ... when I get it for free I put all the money in the jar that I would have spent on the coffee ...

I was so disappointed to see no one tip them ... as I approached the register they suddenly got it to work again ... I paid full price for my coffee and left a tip ...

Quote of the Day

"Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much."
Blaise Pascal

Quote of the Day

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."
Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

"What you keep to yourself you lose, what you give away, you keep forever.."
Axel Munthe

Snow Day :(

I really was holding out for a snow day for Monday ... since we don't get President's day off ... I heard it was supposed to snow on Sunday and I couldn't have been more excited ... lately when we have gotten snow it was on Saturday so by Monday the streets were clear ...

In 2002 we had a week off at one point because we got 30" of snow ... this year not one day off for snow ... and my office is pretty liberal ... if there are a couple of inches we are closed ... and I really wanted at least one day off this year ... a free day to hang out at home ... check my email and just relax ... but since winter is almost over I fear we aren't going to get one ...

I am still going to go to sleep dreaming that the winds turn and the snow/sleet/ice ... Something falls from the sky ... but as it looks right now ... I will be up and off to work in the morning ...

Quote of the Day

"Gratitude is the heart's memory."
French proverb

Student Loan

One thing I am very thankful for ... David and I have zero credit card debt ... that is a big accomplishment ... I have many friends with 1000s owed to credit cards ...

unfortunately I have a student loan that is the bane of my existence ... it just kills me that I owe 1000s for a college education and that I dropped out a few credits shy of graduating ...

it also kills me that I had the 2 loans when I was living with my ex and that I covered the majority of our expenses during those years together and now my husband is having to help me pay the loan ... it isn't right ... my ex should have to contribute some money ... half would be fair ... I would even take a third ... he took out one loan during that time ... his dad paid for school ... and he didn't work ... I had two loans and two jobs ... what a fucking sucker I was ... at the time I figured when it came time to pay them back he would still be with me and we would pay them together ... I really should have been smarter than that ...

I think I will be into my 60s by the time I pay this thing off ... that just makes my stomach drop ... there should be counseling before signing the papers ... some way to truly see how long you will be shelling money out ...

Joyous Feeling

There is such a joyous feeling to Friday ... especially when you get to go into work late and leave early ... I find serious excitment in this ...

When I was unemployeed I realized I didn't quite enjoy the weekends the same as when you have a job ... but then everyday was a weekend ...

Restoring my old journal

So this online journal started in 1999 ... before I knew about blogs ... unfortunately in our server crash we lost everything ... I was able to use a restore program [that eventually killed the computer and we had to have a new one built] that recovered a good chunk of my journal ... and for the last week I have been trying to go through it and put it all back together ... but the task sounds easier than it has been ...

part of the problem is I start reading what I wrote 6 years ago ... and see how much I have changed and how different my life is now ... some days I long for the carefree time ... little responsibility ... feeling like I didn't have to answer to anyone ... basically I did whatever I want and got as wild as could be ... but I know we can never go back ... life is always moving forward ... and if it came down to it I wouldn't trade where my life is right now for any other period ... [although it would be nice to bring David back to when I was 21 and living in Lawrence ... because that was a truly spectacular time] ...

the other part of the problem is it just kills me when I come to a page that is gone ... I poured soooooo much of myself into my journal I hate to know part is lost forever ... I wonder what was going on ... what am I missing ... and how to piece it all back together ... there are 1000s of entries to organize ...

so I hope soon to have links to 1999-2004 soon ... the years when I became an adult ...

Quote of the Day

"We aim above the mark to hit the mark."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Election Stickers

How long are people supposed to keep their candidates election stickers on their car. Everyday I am noticing so many. I understand keeping the Bush/Cheney - they won ... I totally understand the ones sold after the election that say "W still the president" ... but Kerry/Edwards lost ... it is official ... votes have all been counted ... we have had the Inauguration ... he is the president ... isn't leaving the sticker on the car holding on to a dead dream ...

or is it there to let people know you didn't vote for Bush??

Staying Positive

Unfortunately most of my day is spent around negativity ... it is amazing how two people can see things so differently ... I am most definitely a glass half full [even though as a child when asked if it was half full or half empty I asked, "Are you filling it up or drinking from it, then I can make a decision" ... smarty pants that I was] ...

I am worried the negativity is really affecting me ... so I am going to do everything I can to be positive under any circumstance ... because I see negativity and I don't want to become that ... it is a trying position to take but I see the outcome of letting the bad vibes seep in and I don't want that to happen ...

So here is the start of doing whatever I can ... and whatever I have to ... to be a positive uplifting person ... no matter what ...

of course the boxing I am doing every night sure will help letting any aggression or negativity out ... that might be while I love it so much!!!

Is this for real?

I first want to say I am in no way making fun of his looks ... I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder ... but come on ... is this guy serious??? This is his posting on a dating site? Isn't he hoping to score? Or at least meet someone for some nice company ...

But isn't the Superman outfit a bit much ... does this woo women? Am I the only one not turned on by the outfit? I just can't believe this is putting his best foot forward towards meeting the woman of his dreams ...

or maybe it is ...

The Legend of the St. Valentine's Day Fairy Dinosaur

Many people believe the dinosaurs became extinct
because of some loopy meteorite showers.
This is simply not true.
The dinosaurs became extinct because they held out for love.

Dinosaurs wouldn't settle for relationships of convenience
(like the roaches for example). It was a tough choice between
extinction and compromise. But in the end, they refused
to procreate until they found that special someone
~ and as we all know, that's not easy when you're bigger than
Lincoln Memorial and have a brain the size of a pea.

So one by one the great dinosaurs died
~ Choosing to sacrifice their species
rather than live in a world without love.

Only one dinosaur survived,
the St. Valentine's Fairy Dinosaur.
She lives to insure all other species find love
~ true love ~and make the dinosaur's great sacrifice worthwhile.

So on Valentine's Day, of all days
~ Get out there & love somebody ~
in honor of the dinosaurs.

Happy Valentine's Day!!
Love . . . Liz

Grocery Store Insanity

I know better than to go to the grocery store on Sunday afternoon ... but there was stuff we needed and I bit the bullet and went ... by the time I left I was so frazzled I think my hair might have been standing on end ...

I was amazed at the numerous people who had their cart stationed in the middle of the aisle and looked at me like I was a bitch when I politely said, "Excuse me" ... and for those that couldn't seem to comprehend, "Excuse Me" I then moved the cart out of my way ... one woman actually snapped "Don't touch my cart!" ... as politely as I could muster I said, "My plan wasn't to shop with you today, so in order to proceed I must move your cart." ... she seemed a bit perplexed ...

As I stood in line to check out I felt myself shaking with frustration ... an older [than me] woman actually pushed my cart out of the way and got in front of me in line ... I explained to her the items on the belt were mine and that I was actually in line waiting to check out ... she wouldn't move ... so I wedged myself between her cart and mine and just pushed forward ... it was like being in a Twilight Zone ...

I unfortunately chose a checker that felt it was his mission to chat up the woman in front of me ... I checked my watch because I know time can be skewed in the grocery when I think I have actually entered the depths of hell ... 9 minutes they chatted ... 6 of those he wasn't even checking anything out ... just flipping through a notebook to look up items ... but would stop flipping while they chatting ...

When I could finally see the light and all her items were scanned out came the coupon book ... holy shit how can you not have these out ahead of time ... or during the chat fest ... now I was totally locked into line ... even if I had a breakdown I couldn't escape ... after perusing her coupon book I was ready for my turn ... she just had to pay ...

Lo and behold out comes a checkbook ... all I could think was ... "what the FUCK ... checks ... who the fuck uses checks anymore ... are you kidding me ... you are writing a check and you didn't take it out of your God damn purse until this moment" ... how could she not have filled it out while he was checking her out ... not only am I stunned that people are still using checks ... but to wait until everything is complete to fill it out ... and better yet after he gave her the receipt she stood there and entered it into her registry and did the math ...

I will seriously ... in the future ... try never to go to the grocery on Sunday afternoon ... it was almost worse than going when the mass public freak out cause there is going to be snow and I unfortunately need regular groceries ... not 87 rolls of toilet paper ... carts filled with loaves of bread and enough milk to nourish an army of preschoolers ...

Early Valentines

I had a very special Valentine's Day 2 days early ... while out and about we stopped at Dick's Sporting Goods and David got me a heavy bag and boxing gloves ... I've talked about wanting it for some time now but just decided it wasn't necessary ...

It was the perfect Valentine's Day gift ...

Once we left the store David asked if I wanted to go ahead and go to my office to hang it up ... I was game so we made the trip to College Park after stopping at Home Depot for chain ...

I was impressed with David's will and determination to get the bag hung ... we have a 15 foot ceiling in the warehouse where the bag was going and we didn't have a ladder tall enough to easily reach it ... so for over an hour David swung rope to get it over the rafter ... then attached the chain to pull it up over the rafter ... I would have given up long before David ... but he kept at it and eventually got the bag hung ...

for a while it felt as if we were on an episode of the Amazing Race and this was one of our challenges ... actually more like a Road Block since I kept cheering him on like the women on the show do ...

The bag is AWESOME ... best workout ever in half the time ... I can't wait to get back to the office on Monday to do some boxing ... it really was exactly what I wanted ... a great first Valentine's Day as husband and wife ... :)

A permanent solution to a temporary problem

I am still stunned at what I saw yesterday ... as I was leaving my house for work I saw 4 police cars ... yellow "do not cross" tape enclosing a section of grass area ... and a tarp coving a person ... in the building behind me someone jumped to their death ...

I haven't been able to get the image out of my head no matter how hard I try ... it is there ... in the foreground of everything I am thinking ...

I contacted the local Fox News station to see if what I saw was what I thought I saw ... they confirmed that it was but since it was a suicide they don't report on the story ... that statement alone kind of shocked me ... it makes it seem like no one will know it is a problem if they don't report on it ...

I can't help but wonder what they were thinking at the time they decided to jump ... it seems like such an awful choice ... and such a scary thing to do ... I have so many questions that I will never know the answers to ... I am sure just like their family ...

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem ...

On my way home I had to drive by the same spot ... the grass is gone and it is like a crater is there ... it made my stomach sink when I saw it ... I feel so affected by someone I don't even know ...

it is just so sad ... sad ... sad ...

Vivid Dream

I had the most amazing dream last night ... it was so vivid and so real ... it makes me a bit nervous ...


It was my friend Mike ... that I went to college with ... the last time I heard from him we were supposed to meet in NYC ... some time before 9/11 ... but we never hooked up ... then I didn't hear from him for ages ... I got an email from a mutual friend when I started planning the wedding and wanted to send Mike an invitation ... the email explained that Mike was a heroin addict ... he had lost his wife, job, house, car ... and our friend had no idea where he was or if he was still alive ... it still makes me cry thinking about it ... I miss him terribly ... we stayed close even after we both moved away from Lawrence ...


well in my dream last night Mike was right there with me ... and we were hugging ... tightly ... I could feel his skin next to mine and I was sad ... and I didn't want to let go ... and David was there [even though he has never met Mike] and I remember thinking "I feel bad hugging Mike with David there" but in the dream David could hear my thoughts and he said to me "It is OK Liz ... stay close to him ... he needs this ... he is leaving ... he is saying good-bye" ... which made me start to cry ... and then Mike held me tighter and tighter and tighter till I thought I couldn't breath any more but I didn't want to let go ... so I just kept squeezing ... and I kept saying to myself, "Liz make a mental memory of this ... how this feels ... how his skin feels ... make a memory ... you have to remember this" ... and it was like I could feel it all ... and then I started sobbing ... I kissed his lips ... and then woke up with tears in my eyes ...


It shook me up enough that I couldn't go back to sleep ... I decided to get up ... splash some water on my face and go sit outside for a bit ...


Was he saying good-bye? ... was that it? ... is there no hope that he will one day be alright? ... get his life back from the grips of heroin? ... is he gone? ...


As I relive this dream while writing it I am again brought to tears ... he is/was such a wonderful person with so many amazing ideas and a huge heart ... I've missed our talks for years now ... but now I fear there will never be another one ... that he has left for good ... and taken a piece of me with him ...

Week From Hell

Finally I am able to write about the mess we have been in ...


On January 24th we woke up to find everything on our server gone ... gone gone gone ... someone [I am guessing an ex-employee] logged onto the server and deleted files ... files being every website on the server ... it was a mega mess ...


We got the server back up ... found some back ups here and there on our own computer ... and started working on the server non-stop Monday night ... we were up most of the night and just dead tired for work the next day ... as I worked on rebuilding sites for ones we had no back up of the server was starting to look normal again ... and then it happened ... it crashed hard core ... they couldn't even get it to boot ... i was crushed ... crying ... i couldn't believe 4 years and now 4 hard days of work were just gone ...


this time we just had a new server built ... i couldn't risk going through this again ...


so now a week later the server is almost back to normal ... i lost our wedding site which is kind of a bummer ... but it is getting there ...


it was one terrible week last week ...

testing

my goodness why won't this work