well the UPS woman said almost without a doubt they would not be paying on the breakage claim ... she implied the guy sold and sent us a broken computer hoping to claim the insurance money ... so david was totally pissed when i told him ...


we did hang out together last night and made an excellent dinner ... he grilled a steak and sliced it up and made corn on the cob and boiled small potatos ... it so sooooooooooooooooooooooo good ... and we ate together ... i had a lovely evening with davie ...


and this morning i was 3 pounds lighter ...

i have dreams every night now about what it will be like when i've lost my weight ... it is all i think about ... i should have been dieting the whole time i have been unemployed ... i would be close to my goal weight by now ... but at least i have now started ... i am down 17 pounds now ... fucking rocks ...

wow isn't that nice ... the UPS lady called me to tell me she was on her way and would be here before 11 ... woohoo ... now i know i can go get a coffee in like an hour ... right on!!!!

wow it has been almost 2 weeks since I have written ... I stop and think about doing it all the time ... but then I never feel quite up to it ...

so lets see ... what has been happening ...


mother's day was pretty nice ... my brother and his wife came over and we had brunch ... it was quite nice actually ... no fighting ... no hurt feelings ... :)


my dieting has been going super great ... I have lost 15 pounds in the last 15 days ... which is pretty damn great ... and it has tapered off ... after 11 days of dieting I had lost 13 pounds ... so it is good that it is at about a pound a day right now ... by Christmas I want to have lost all the weight I am planning to loose ... which I think is a pretty good goal ... 8 months of hard core dieting and exercise ... and then maintenance ... never let myself get to the point where I need to diet for 8 months ...


David had to work on Saturday cause he has this Friday and the following monday off for memorial day ... a four day weekend will be so nice ... so Saturday when he got off work he went to Beadazzled ... the coolest bead shop in DC and got me a whole bunch of beads ... I mean he picked out some killer stuff ... so I made a bunch of earings this weekend ...


yesterday I was sooooooooooooo sick ... I just didn't even want to move all day ... I woke up feeling like crap but after taking nyquil last night I woke up feeling a whole lot better today ...


yesterday I put up a ton of ebay auctions ... I have some more to do today but right now I am just sitting here staring at the security cam at the front door ... I am waiting for a UPS inspector to come by and check out a computer David got on ebay ... the monitor came cracked and the computer won't even boot ... so the seller filed a claim and now I have to sit here from 9AM till 4PM waiting for her ... I called several times and asked her to call and confirm her appointment so I didn't sit here all day but she didn't ... and we won't get our money back till this is resolved ... ya know 9-4 seems like a long time ... can't they give me 9-noon or 1-4 ... doesn't that seem a little more reasonable ... and since we live in the apartment downstairs it isn't always easy to hear the doorbell ring ... so I just sit and wait and wait and wait till she comes ... and I am ready for a coffee ... but I know the second I leave she will come by ... and then be all pissed off that I wasn't here ... :)


well I think I am going to lay on the couch to watch this riveting security cam ... I am going to try and start writing often again ... :)

I have finally started a hard core weight loss program ... i finally got tired of putting it off ... and i am sick of hating what i look like ... for 3 days now i have done great ... eating all the right things and walking everyday ... but the walking is a little much for me right now ... the leg i broke a while back has been insanely swollen and hurts like a bitch so i have been looking for a lower impact workout that i can do every other day that way i still walk but i can give my leg a rest ... i am finding the pilates very interesting and i think tomorrow i will go to Blockbuster and see if they have any videos i can rent ... make sure i like the workout before i spend the big bucks getting the equipment i need ... and i definitely want to start doing yoga again ... when i was doing it everyday i was always so happy ... so i see no reason not to start doing it again ... i would love to find a class ... but for right now i would settle on finding a good video that i can use at home for a while and save some money ...


my first goal is to loose enough weight that David's dad and brother notice when they come out here for July 4th ... since they will be the first people i see that don't see me every single day ... my goal after that is to loose enough weight by Christmas that people who see me now won't recognize me ... and it has happened before ... there was a 3.5 month period in my life once where i lost so much weight that the next time kris saw me ... when i went to pick her up at the airport ... she walked right past me ... and when i called out her name the look of utter shock was on her face ... i need to do that again ...


i am getting ready to start interviewing for jobs and i know my weight makes a huge difference ... it shouldn't ... but it does ... and i would rather feel super about myself than just ok when i go to talk to people ...


well this getting up at 4:30 in the morning has been kicking my ass ... i feel like a zombie typing this right now ... in fact i have that feeling that i am floating i am so tired ... so it is off to bed for me ... :)

so i guess all i need to do is type i am having trouble and suddenly everything works ... hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

why is it that at the beginning of each month i have a problem with my archive setting itself up ... why is that ... and why can't i remember what i did the last time to fix it??

i realized it has been a while since i wrote ... and i didn't even have the archives set up ... but now ... it doesn't seem to be working so well ... hummmmmmm

I got all this from Sean Bonner in an email and really liked it so I am posting it here.


JD from Sublime Directory [This is porn]

wrote this today and since it's right in line with things I've written here

before and totally the way I feel, I thought I'd post it here as well so

more people could soak it in. Enjoy.


"i saw something that really bothered me in the paper yesterday. as many

people now know there was a teenage couple that were walking on the beach

here in miami when 5 piece of shit kids kidnapped them, stabbed the

boyfriend to near death, through him out of the car, raped the guys

girlfriend and then killed the girl by shooting her between the eyes. i

haven't been this disgusted since those mental midgets in jasper dragged the

black guy behind their truck until he died. obviously this kind of stuff

turns everyone¹s stomach inside out but what really bothered me is a quote

from the guy that stopped to pick up the dying boyfriend on the side of the

road. he was obviously religious and said something like "this is not an act

of god, it is an act of satan." satan? bullshit! i mean common! i'm so tired

of religious people thanking god for things they view as positive (i.e. when

hollyfield thanks god for giving him the power to nearly beat his opponent

to death) and blaming satan for something they view as negative. guns don't

kill people, drugs don't kill people, cigarettes don't kill people and SATAN

doesn't kill people...PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE. to put the blame on inanimate

objects and imaginary people (hey if you want to believe in satan it¹s your

problem) is such an insult to the human spirit. all people have the ability

to achieve the greatest and be the greatest with some "soul nourishing" and

a GOOD EDUCATION. what is the common denominator of almost all these heinous

crimes? people so ignorant they can barely put a sentence together and so

ignored by family (if they even have any) that there isn't an ounce of human

spirit left of them. so what is the solution? stop pouring this country's

almost infinite resources/money into to stupid things like the drug war

(btw, how do people not find the irony in a hard nosed drug war and a

republican president that did cocaine in college). instead spend it on

education and our country's foster care and adoption system. fix the problem

at it's root! everyone deserves a good education and everyone deserves to

have someone that loves them. it may take a generation or two since there

are already uneducated/ignorant parents raising hateful ignorant kids but if

we can pull it off it would take this country to a whole new level of

consciousness. one of my favorites, deepak chorpa, said it best when he said

"There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the

future in."

oh my god i am so bored ... this new schedule sucks for me ... yes i am happy that david has a job ... but getting up at 4:45 AM and being home by 6:15 from dropping david off at the train ... i have nothing to do ... some days i go back to sleep but then i wake up and feel like i wasted the day ... but around this time ... 7:30 AM i start dreaming of laying down for a little while ...


i guess i will go work on one of my many projects ... i should be doing ebay auctions but i got a little burnt on that ... :)