I hardly slept last night while wrestling with this decision ... my mom has already reminded me that this week I can't work on Friday or Sunday ... [Friday I am signing the mortgage to the condo so she really means not Friday morning ... and Sunday is my brother's birthday brunch] ... but my mom just doesn't understand retail ... those are both big days ... and if I take this job this is how things are going to go ... and she doesn't do too well with things like this ...


both my parents suggested that I call today and be honest ... tell them that I need to find a full time job that offers benefits and I would be happy to take this job but if one becomes available I would have to take it ... and see what they say ... see if they would still hire me ... I just get nervous saying stuff like this ... which is why I didn't sleep ... I keep staring at her number ... I know I need to call ... I just don't want to ...


I think in all honesty even though I love the stuff at PB ... I don't want to work there ... a part of me ... as silly as this may be ... feels a little degraded ... I have technical skills ... that have earned me a lot of money in the past ... I am tired of being dependant on my parents ... I want a job that can get me out of this house ... and this isn't that job ... especially if I spend what little I make ... on stuff in the store ...