my mom sent me the greatest email ... Expressions for Women on High Stress Days


1. You - Off my planet.


2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?


3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.


4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.


5. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be?


6. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.


7. Allow me to introduce my selves.


8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.


10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.


11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't sleeping.


13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.


14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?


15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?


16. You say I'm a witch like it's a bad thing.


17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?


18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?


19. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my job is done here.


20. Earth is full. Go home.


21. Is it time for your medication or mine?


22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.


BY ALL MEANS, SHARE WITH OTHER WOMEN IN STRESSFUL POSITIONS



Life with men is like a deck of cards......

You need a Heart to love them;

A Diamond to marry them;

A Club to beat them;

And a Spade to bury the bodies.