I hate to say this ... but it has become true ... every time I get out of my car to go inside somewhere ... and every time I leave somewhere and get into my car ... I am thankful I made it ...


today I went to pick up lunch for David and I while we were working on the condo ... and I went to a place on Rockville Pike ... and I felt my heart race a bit as I exited my car and headed for the restaurant's front door ... I felt the same heart murmur as I emerged from the restaurant and walked toward my car ... which was all the way across the parking lot ... right on the street ... it is unnerving ... it is unfair ... people should not have to live this way ... anywhere in the world ...


I am very good about telling people I love them when I leave them or hang up with them ... I always have been ... and I try hard not to stay mad at people I love ... because you never know when it will be the last time you get to say it ... and no one wants their last words to be "piss off" that you said while you were mad ... but now it is like everyone in this area has more of a chance of their last words happening ...


and what the fuck is up with someone lying about what they saw at a crime scene ... he should go to jail ... or be fined or something ... why would someone do that ... he wasn't on TV ... they weren't interviewing him on Barbara Wawa ... why would you do that ... unless he is friends with the sniper he has just a chance of being shot as anyone else ... shit the sniper is a crazy fucker even being his friend you could have a chance of being shot ... why would anyone mislead the police in their investigation ...


monday was the last shooting ... and tomorrow is Friday ... it makes me even more nervous ... there have been two weekends since this started ... neither of which anyone was shot ... it makes me worried that weekends will now become target times ... when even more people are out and with their families ... or that tomorrow will be a rampage like the first day ... get a bunch in before the weekend ...


the whole thing just makes me sick ... I really hadn't wanted to talk about it much in my blog ... but I just can't help it ... it is right here ... everywhere I go I see places where it has happened ... every radio station [music or talk] says stuff about it during every break ... the TV has stuff all day long ... even my local internet pages come up with sniper this and sniper that ...


it resembles living in New York when the WTC tragedy occurred ... yes I lived there ... and yes I worked blocks from ground zero ... but I was home that day ... for all I knew I wasn't in danger ... and nothing more was going to happen ... sure I thought maybe something could ... but my house was like a bomb shelter and I left only to get cigs and coffee ... I doubt the Starbucks in Farmingdale was being targeted by anyone ...


but this isn't over ... not that anyone knows ... but for right now he isn't dead or caught so it isn't over ... and I can't hole up in my house I have to live my life ... I will say this though ... I need to go to Michaels ... there are several items I need ... and although I don't believe the sniper shootings are related to Michaels [come on look how many stores there are ... you could say a McDonalds was near each crime scene too] ... I still don't want to go ... it is on Rockville Pike ... busy area ... easy to get away ... it fits the MO ...


so I will just keep my fear locked inside for a while ... tell my parents and David I love them every chance I get ... kiss my kitty before leaving the house ... and hold David's hand while we are driving around town ... and hope something good happens ...