i am sitting here trying not to let my anger get out of control but i don't think it is possible anymore ... and i don't know what to do about it ...


yesterday i was out running errands so i just headed for the train station around 5:20 ... i knew david wouldn't get in till about 6 but it was better than driving home to get here in time to leave and pick him up ... he didn't get in till 7:15 and all i got was his voice mail on his phone ...


he told me that he couldn't get the phone to work in the city [which is strange cause he calls me every day when he is leaving] and he hadn't even called ... he said since his phone wasn't working that he was just going to call when he got to the station ... he said that after work he had to meet with the boss and this other kid that works there to talk about stuff and then he and the kid went to get coffee ... i let it go cause it was just once ... but he even mentioned what type of phone the kid had so he could have easily used his phone to call and just tell me he wouldn't be home till late ...


today when he left he said don't come to the station till i call cause i don't want you sitting there for ever ... fine ... but i have been sitting here for 2 hours now waiting for him to call ... i can't do anything ... i can't chat on the phone cause we don't have call waiting ... i can't go finish the laundry cause i need his clothes from work today and i can't hear our phone up there ... i can't take a shower cause i can't answer the phone in the shower ... i can't go run errands cause i fucking can't hear the phone in the car ...

it is really just upsetting to me ... and the biggest problem is that he told me tooooooooo many stories about how he cheated on his ex ... and he cheated all the time ... he would hook up with chicks after work and mess around in some hotel and then come home ... i don't think he is cheating ... but he has always been sooooo good about calling me from work and not any more ... and fuck i don't want to just be sitting here ... doing shit ... i can't even go outside and finish painting or anything ... i am just pissed ... i feel like i am being taken advantage of ... it just isn't right ...