i think david believes i am mostly in a bad mood cause of the scanner not working with my crappy computer ...


but i am mostly worried about he and i ... i have been in relationships before where the sex just seemed to stop ... that it was only done like out of courtesy ... i worry it just means that he would rather not be with me ... but circumstances make it too hard to break up ... i don't want anyone to be with me out of necessity ... i want it to be out of love and joy ...


it just has me so worried ... that i am leading down the same path i traveled with my ex ... he just didn't have the balls to break up with me ... and i wasn't going to make it easy for him ...


but i love david ... like i have never loved someone before ... it would rip me apart if he were with me out of convenience instead of love ... oh who the fuck knows ... shit