i am in such a foul fucking mood it is crazy ... first of all my computer sucks ... i bought it in 1999 ... it is a fucking Compaq ... and i just want to smash it to pieces ... everything has to be tweaked ... nothing works like it should ...


today i brought my parents scanner down here ... i am embarking on a huge project ... to scan the 3000+ slides they have and then burn them onto disk ... so we can actually enjoy them ... since all they have done for the past 20 years is sit in a fire proof file cabinet ... well all day David tweaked with this fucking thing ... and it still won't work ... my computer just can't recognize anything new ...


secondly ... i can't even remember the last time we had sex ... it was before we moved to DC I'll tell ya that ... and i am beyond frustrated ... how can someone go this long ... it is fucking crazy ... i mean we moved here February 24th ... actually i do know how long it has been cause it has gotten so infrequent lately that i have started marking it in the calendar ... but it is too damn depressing to even look at the calendar and see so i am avoiding it ... in fact typing about it right now is making me want to cry ...


so the shitty computer and sexual frustration is putting me in a mood that is way beyond pissy ... and to top it all off i am PMSing ... which means it will be at least another week before i see any action ... fuck i can't take this anymore ... and my birthday is in 3 days and i am not looking forward to it ... i think this is the first birthday of my life i am not looking forward to ... i always love my birthday ... but i have no friends out here ... the only people i know are David and my parents ...


i think i am going to start crying ... maybe i need a cig ... i am feeling the burden of a sucky life right now ...