Worthy

have you ever disliked yourself so much ... you question why the person you are with ... is with you ...

it is not so much myself that i dislike ... for i love 'who' i am ... just lately ... in particularly 3 minutes ago ... i realized i disliked my body soooo much ... i wondered why david would even be with me ...


... i truly believe it isn't what a person looks like that makes them who they are ... it is everything about them ... but often times it is what they look like that influences who they are ...


i would say in every relationship i have had ... in the end i was the one who was hurt ... and yes it has made me a stronger person ... more aware of who i truly am ... for when a part of you is held captive by someone else ... once you regain control again that part of you is even stronger ... and you fall more in love with those aspects of you ...


but a part of me is totally freaking out right now ... i have given more of myself in every way possible to david ... he falls the closest second ever to my best friends of any man ever ... but what if i am wrong to give this much trust to another person ... to hand over this much of myself ... how do i know he is worthy ...


if i don't like a part of myself this much ... how can that not affect him ...