Thursday, February 17, 2005

Restoring my old journal

So this online journal started in 1999 ... before I knew about blogs ... unfortunately in our server crash we lost everything ... I was able to use a restore program [that eventually killed the computer and we had to have a new one built] that recovered a good chunk of my journal ... and for the last week I have been trying to go through it and put it all back together ... but the task sounds easier than it has been ...

part of the problem is I start reading what I wrote 6 years ago ... and see how much I have changed and how different my life is now ... some days I long for the carefree time ... little responsibility ... feeling like I didn't have to answer to anyone ... basically I did whatever I want and got as wild as could be ... but I know we can never go back ... life is always moving forward ... and if it came down to it I wouldn't trade where my life is right now for any other period ... [although it would be nice to bring David back to when I was 21 and living in Lawrence ... because that was a truly spectacular time] ...

the other part of the problem is it just kills me when I come to a page that is gone ... I poured soooooo much of myself into my journal I hate to know part is lost forever ... I wonder what was going on ... what am I missing ... and how to piece it all back together ... there are 1000s of entries to organize ...

so I hope soon to have links to 1999-2004 soon ... the years when I became an adult ...

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