all at once

Americans killed in Iraq were Baptist missionaries This was all over the news Monday but I just couldn't write about it ... Jean is my mom's cousin ... Jean and her husband were two of the four killed on Monday in Iraq ... the whole family was terribly shocked ... then yesterday morning while I was at work my mother called ... my Grandmother's brother passed away Tuesday night ... 3 people from one family in two days ... just doesn't seem right ... my Grandmother is the only child living from her family ... out of 10 children ... it makes me so worried ... this is the type of thing that triggers a person's will to live ... my dad's father passed away a week after his sister because he was so sad ... my Grandmother and her brother have lived next door to each other for 50 years ... I'm just not ready to let her go ... she is my last grandparent left ... Sunday is my birthday and the 11 year anniversary of my other Grandmother's death ... I don't want them both gone ... at the same time ... I miss my dad's mom terribly ... we were very close ... and I don't know how my mom will handle when her mother is gone ... I just can't stop crying ... I am worried about so many people right now ... it is just so much loss and fear all at once ... I'm not normally one to pray but I think I may try it today ...