sometimes it is hard to keep the blogs I am reading from effecting my writing ... days when I write hardly anything are usually because I am reading so much of others ... tonight is one of those nights ... but I still feel the impulse to write ...


at the bus stop today I danced in the rain ... all week I have been out of it ... feverish ... moody ... nauseous ... but I trudged on ... I don't get sick days ... or any vacation until late next year ... and it is a blessing to have a job and make money after having nothing coming in for way too long ... besides it is one of the busiest weeks at work all year ... so by 3 PM when I am catching my bus it was pouring ... and cold ... but I suddenly felt more alive than I had all week ... I was soaked but the tunes on my radio seemed to be better than ever ... and I boogied ... and I was smiling ... it was a good feeling ...


I am 32 years old ... since I can remember 3 has been my favorite number ... many monumental things have happened to me on the 3 day of the month ... I was born in the 3 month of the year ... I have hit the number 3 playing Roulette in Vegas more times than I can count ... I have always looked forward to my 33rd birthday ... I mean double threes how could I go wrong ... but for some time now I worried that maybe I was kidding myself ... that maybe my life wasn't moving forward ... that I would never feel as if I were growing up ...


but shit looks like it might be coming together ... and that I can make 33 my most amazing year ...


there is more in me but I am not sure how to put it into words yet ...