Do-over

this morning started off shitty and I am not sure if it is because last night ended shitty ... I just kept thinking about Mike ... and wondering how it happened ...


David was to meet a future employer this morning at 5:30 AM to head up to Cumberland with him ... we were up at 4 ... left at 5 ... and got lost ... he called the guy who started getting pissed at him yet couldn't tell us how to get to his shop ... so David dropped me off at the Starbucks near my work and drove up there himself ... I felt so bad because he was now going to be late ...


so now I am in front of Starbucks and trying to call a cab on my cell phone ... nothing is listed in the area ... so I tried to call my boss who is up in Cumberland as well to see if she knew the name of a cab company ... as I was going to the name Marianne I saw Mike's listed there [thought to myself that is no good anymore] ... and I just lost it right there in front of Starbucks ... bawling ...


now I have no ride ... it is 3 hours till my coworker is driving up to work and could stop to pick me up ... David is all bummed out and pissed off and worried he won't have the job now ... Mike is fucking gone ... along with Josh [the other heroin lover who disappeared] ... it is freezing out and I have no jacket ... I forgot my text book for school so I can't even sit and read ... I have no idea how I am going to get home except the bus/train combo in the rain but I didn't even bring a rain jacket cause I thought I would be driving ... I wore the total wrong shoes to walk the 2 miles home from the train ... in the fucking rain ... and all these thoughts happened before 6 AM ...


a checker at the grocery store I walked to was cool ... she knew the number for a cab and I spent 10 fucking dollars to get here ...


now I am sitting here at work and I just want to leave ... I have like 20 overtime hours built up but my boss is gone so I can't just leave ...


I want today to be over ... I need a redo ... I need to start fresh tomorrow ...


and I wish David would call to let me know how everything went once he got up there ...