| Well yesterday I needed to take a break from my journal ... just didn't feel like writing in it at all ... I don't even think anything of real significance happened ... ohhh wait I guess so ... I went to Best Buy yesterday cause I was just sick of my shitty camera and applied for a store credit card ... and they approved me ... so I talked to a sales person there and told them what kind of system I had and what I wanted and I got a great new camera that uses a usb port which I thought was great cause that means I could now use my printer and scanner and the camera at the same time ... then I got home to realize my computer doesn't have a usb port so I went back to the store ... again told the guy what kind of computer I had and what operating system I used and he gave me a board ... I was really worried about installing it myself but it was a breeze ... and I thought I was well on my way ... only to find out NT can not use USB ports ... which you would think a guy in the computer section of the store would know ... so I figured ... fuck it I am going to install windows '98 right now ... I am sick of all the error messages I get with NT anyway ... but I couldn't ... I called my friend Ben and it was just too big of a deal ... I would loose too many programs that I need ... like front page ... so I couldn't even write in my journal ... then I called my friend James up in LA and he said ... look Liz we can fix your whole system up if you can just wait till Thursday ... if you come over Thursday night with your computer and all your crap I will burn CDs for you ... install '98 and fix you all up ... now I have a tendency to be impatient but I agreed cause I am just sick of how things are running right now ... the problem I faced was that I had uninstalled the driver for my old camera ... so I downloaded a new one ... installed it ... and my old camera is running wonderfully now ... it wasn't a shitty camera I had but a shitty driver ... so I am thinking I will take the new one back ... or get a different one ... since I will have windows '98 ... I was limited on what camera I could buy cause most didn't offer drivers for NT and I see why now ... they were all USB port cameras ... and I would like to use the USB port cause I want to have my printer and scanner back ... and once James sets me up I am sure I will be a much happier camper about my computer ... This morning I woke up feeling quite ill ... and called work to let them know ... and wound up sleeping on and off all morning ... I am feeling much better now ... thank goodness cause I have a lot of work they sent home with me ... the temp agency called today to see if I was interested in a 6 week temp job ... it was to be a secretary and there was no chance of it becoming permanent ... so I turned it down ... besides the fact that I am somewhat sick of being a secretary ... I don't want to leave my job at the school for something that doesn't have the potential to be permanent ... and I don't want to miss an opportunity of another job that could be permanent because I am stuck at some temp job ... besides my mom keeps telling me ... "don't take the first job they offer ... wait till you are offered something you really want" ... of course she doesn't realize how broke I am ... but I am sure if worse comes to worse they will be there to help me out ... I have avoided stopping by my post office box cause it bums me out ... but today I was near there so I thought what the hell ... but I shouldn't have gone ... it just is so depressing to open the box to nothing ... not even junk mail ... it kinda makes me sad too that no one that sits and watches me even thinks the site is worth 5 bucks ... especially when I have a bill due June 1st for $70 bucks for my extra bandwidth usage ... and I am almost out of Starbucks coupons so I will have to quit going there for a while ... sad as that may be ... actually my body will probably go through withdrawals ... it is a total drug to me ... but I gotta make up the cost somewhere in my life ... my apartment manager did bring me a package today ... it isn't the digital camera I have been waiting for from my friend Jason S. ... but it was my birthday present from Heather ... and she rocks big time ... I got some groovy lighters with stars and suns and moons on them ... and a bunch of butterfly clips ... and self breast exam reminder stickers ... and some groovy rainbow glasses ... she knows me too well ... and I love it ... well I did wake up yesterday morning with an awful feeling of dread like I thought I would about my journal entry ... Clint has been studying for a big test he had today ... so we haven't really talked ... and I am not sure how much I want to really ... I mean I would like to talk to him ... but not about my journal entry ... but who knows ... there was one really positive thing that came from it ... I got some of the most amazing letters regarding all that I wrote ... even some written to Clint for me to pass on if I wanted to ... which of course I didn't ... that would be a little too freaky I think ... but they were all so warm and caring and made me cry ... they did make me feel so much better ... and there are some genuinely sweet and caring people out there ... it was so nice to see that ... last night I started reading The Symposium by Plato and could hardly put it down to go to sleep ... it has been years since I read it and I am loving it even more than I did then ... and it was such a trip ... last night i woke up at 4 AM and my friend Martin had left me an ICQ message ... and it was a quite from The Symposium ... he had no idea I was reading it ... my mom also bought me Homer's Iliad ... so that will be my next book to read ... since this one is short I will finish it in no time ... oh I am talking to heather right now and I miss her so much ... I wish she lived near me ... I wish any of my best girlfriends were near me ... it is hard being so far apart ... at least they are getting more internet savvy ... but it just isn't the same ... man I have a bunch of work to do that they sent home from my job with me ... so I guess I should wrap this up for now ... shower and get to work ... I know there were other things I was thinking about writing ... but can't remember now ... (I decided since I know like 6 Jason's including my brother and for me to remember who I am talking about I will have to use last initials) I do know my friend Jason T.'s boyfriend who is also named Jason will be moving out here in just about a week ... and they are taking me to Universal Studios for the day ... I can hardly wait ... it has been so long since I have gone and I always have a blast there ... it isn't Disneyland (which I need to go to soon) but it is fun none the less ... I have also decided I want to find a roller skating rink ... I have had the biggest urge to go skating ... not roller bladeing cause I can't stop on those fucking things ... I am a child of the 70's and skating is much cooler ... too bad I can't find a rink that still plays Air Supply and Journey ... but any music while roller skating would be great ... I went by Play It Again Sports but all they had were roller blades ... yuck ... I need 4 wheels in a square and a stopper on the front ... that stopper on the back is ridiculous ... my ass is too big to mess around with gravity ... leaning backwards to stop just doesn't work for me ... I mean come on I learned to skate on metal wheels ... ok ... it is definitely time to shower ... and get some work done ... although all I want to do is read my book ... but I will save that for later ... | 
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