The Stuff You Don't Want to Have to Think About

So D and I have started the conversation a zillion times since I got pregnant ... should, God Forbid, something happen to he and I what would happen to Curly Top ... you don't want to think about it but as a parent you have to ... and in September we are taking our first trip to a wedding and probably won't be taking her ...

Any time I've thought about it my heart cracks a bit ... I mean I want to see everything in her life ... I want to know everything about her ... I don't want to think about a time I wouldn't be there ...

But of course if we truly have her best interests in mind we had to figure this out ... we know there is no one out there that would raise her the same way we would ... the goal is to find someone who would respect our ideas for her life ... and be someone who lives their life like we do ...

After 2.5 years of discussion ... pros ... cons ... not worrying about what those who aren't the ones would think ... putting everything aside but what is good for Curly Top ... we have finally figured it all out ...

We have someone who will be executor of her estate (it is a joke even using that word ... but that is what it is called) ... and 3 people we have chosen who would love her just the way we would ...

I can't help but cry while writing this ... even though I have 1000% faith in those that we have chosen ... and even though if it came to this I would be gone ... but I know even gone it would break my heart ...