Day Five

Tonight my back and rib cage is hurting me ... it has nothing to do with not smoking but I was feeling like The Patch wasn't helping so I took it off ...

D. and I fared well again today ... we said "I really need/want a cig right now" less times tonight and I thought about it less times ... didn't even have any snack tonight ... just a couple of mints ... so I would say that is pretty good ...

I know I will probably think about smokes for the rest of my life ... but it does get a bit easier with each moment that goes by ...

Day Four

Well it was a bit easier today than the previous days ... but that urge was still there tugging ... I was almost sure D was going to stop and get some after the hell job he worked on ... but he didn't ... I was so very proud of him for that ...

I worked on cleaning out our fireplace room ... still tons of RnT stuff down there and it was rough not being able to take a break and have a smoke ...

My patch dreams have't been that bad either ... nothing too weird ... just regular dreams ... I will say I do very much love the name brand patches more than the generic ones I have always bought ... they are just way better ...

So far D and I have saved $100 ... that to me is just amazing ... that in 4 days we would have spent close to or at least 100 bucks ... that means we are going to be saving about $175 a week ... that is INSANE ... granted some weeks it would be less ... but on the same note some weeks it would be more ...

I really am just so so so proud of D ... and this is going to make being pregnant so much easier on me ...

funny thing is ... we keep noticing all sorts of smells ... like we may need to do some deep house cleaning ... cause there are some smells we never noticed before ... :)

Day 3

Today was way harder than day one or two ... it could have been because D and I were apart today and back to our work schedules ... so we were back in the everyday where having a cig is total habit ... mine started with the ride to work ... being on the beltway without Curly Top in my car ... a cig was a natural to deal with the traffic ... and then watching Mary get up to have smokes at work was so hard ... I just wanted to go out there and have one ... and it made me realize I take no break if I'm not smoking ...

Tonight D and I have been doing work for his company for hours ... and it just feels like we should be outside - right now - having a smoke ... I thought it would get easier as the days went on but I am chomping at the bit to have one right now ... and if he wanted to go to the store I don't think I would disagree!!!

Day Two

I think there were more times today that I really wanted to go and have a cig than yesterday ... but D and I still trugged on ... and have now gone two days without smoking ...

Last night when I was putting Curly Top to bed I said, "Have you noticed that daddy and I stopped smoking" ... and she said, "yeeesssss" ... and I said, "Are you happy we stopped smoking?" ... and she said, "Oh yeeesssss" ... and I said, "Do we stink anymore?" and she said ... "No." and then threw her arms around me and patted me on the back and said, "Ohhhhhhhh" ... it is the sweetest thing ... and really if we are not doing this for ourselves we should 1000% be doing this for her ...

I know what we are doing is a good thing ... but at the same time it is oh so hard ...

The hardest times are when I finish a task I didn't want to do ... and think "ahhh now I can have a cig cause I got that done" ... and that is when I realize that no I won't be having a smoke ...

but I am going to power through ...

Day One

Well David and I have made it the whole day without smoking ... and I am so very proud of us ... we decided to go to my company picnic which probably helped cause we spent about 5 hours in the car with Curly Top and my dad ... plus it was just so hot out today and Curly Top was all over the place so we were running around with her ...

Now we were planning on using the Commit losenge ... I put one in my mouth this morning and almost puked ... it was so terribly disgusting I couldn't believe it ... so on the way out today I stopped and got Nicoderm CQ ... in the past I have always used the CVS brand ... any no name brand ... and I have to say ... this one seems soooooooooo much better ... there were only a few times where I really wanted one ... and I think they were just habit times ... it has been pretty good

I will say I miss it ...  I sometimes thinks it is kinda sad that I won't ever be smoking again ... I enjoyed it so so so mch ... in fact at this moment I wish I could go out and have one ... :)

Such a Hard Habit to Break ...

Tonight D and I will smoke our last cigs ... we are starting at day one tomorrow of being non smokers ... we have to do it ... for our daughter ... our health ... so I can get pregnant ... and the freaking money we are spending ... it is crazy amounts and we don't have crazy amounts to spend ...

When I was pregnant last time D still smoked and it was so hard on me ... cause he just smelled so bad ... then after the first trimester I wanted to smoke too and I couldn't ... and I started smoking again soon after we got home from the hospital ... even in my hospital bed I kept wondering if I could go down and have a cig ... so it just has to be done ... both of us ... together ...

I know we can do it ... we are strong people ... and want to set a good example for our child ... I don't want her to smoke ... it is such a hard habit to break ...

Coffee addiction

I am not even sure if the title really describes my love for coffee ... I drank it all day and all night ... like water ... all the time ... when I was pregnant I drank decaf and was fine with that ... I have loved coffee for as long as I can remember ...

But my biggest addiction was Mocha Frappachinos from Starbucks ... every morning without fail I got one ... and half the time I would get one on the way home too ... I planned our trips out of the house so I could stop by Starbucks if not twice at least once ... there are several stores that know my order without having to speak a word to me ... it has been that bad ...

Last Sunday I had a few sips of one ... it was hot out ... blazing hot ... too hot to be drinking that ... walk off the face of the sun hot and I should have just been having water ... but I didn't ... and I paid the price ... I was in bed at 5:30 praying I would throw up ... spent half the night moaning or in the bathroom ...

Come Monday morning there was nothing I wanted less ... all I wanted was water and to sleep ... I left work early and did just that ... slept slept slept ...

Well today is Friday and I have gone the whole week without stepping into a Starbucks ... I don't know that I have ever done that before when one has been accessible to me ...

I haven't gone completely cold turkey on ice blended drinks ... Tuesday I stopped and got a smoothie at Robeks and it hit the spot ... I've always gotten the Strawberry Banana one ... Wednesday I decided to be a bit daring and got a Raspberry one and it was delicious ... Thursday I went all out and got Awesome Acai ... I had been wanting to try it forever and I am so glad I did ... it is amazing ... and sooooooo much better for me than the Mocha Frapps I have been sucking down ...

I've traded:
380 calories for 183
5 grams of fat for 1
78 carbs for 42
65 grams of sugar for 34
1 gram of fiber for 2
0% vitamin C for 26%
0% vitamin A for 3%
165 mg of caffeine for 0

So overall a pretty good change ...

New Year

i know i have to update the site to reflect 2002 ... but i am actually tired at 10 PM so i am going to work on it tomorrow ...


i just wanted to write that 2002 is already better than 2001 ... david and i went the whole day without smoking ... and he found my lost keys in a pocket of one of his jackets which made me SOOOOO happy ... i have never [knock on wood] lost my keys before ... i've had my alice in wonderland key chain that i got in england for over 12 years ... so i was just giddy to see him pull them out of his pocket tonight ...


we used one of our christmas gift certificates and got take out from The Outback tonight which was so delicious ... and i have left overs for tomorrow ...


well since i only got 4 hours of sleep yesterday ... going to bed at 7AM and waking up sneezing like a crazy person at 11AM just isn't enough sleep ... besides i am missing smoking so much right now that it would be good to go to bed ... besides david has been asleep for hours and has an interview tomorrow ...