A Feeding Fool

I didn't want to write anything until I had gotten through the whole day for fear of jinxing anything ... but I spent April Fools Day doing all of Lincoln's feedings ... every 3 hours I was down in the NICU for his bottle ... but the most important part of each bottle was the blood test that was done first ... see for every sugar test done where his numbers were above 55 his glucose central line got to be reduced by 2 mL per Hr ... Tuesday he didn't pass any of them ... in fact a couple of times he had the central line raised ... but starting early Wednesday morning he started passing his tests ... and when I was down there for his 8:30 feeding I got so excited to see the machine reduced by 6 for the 3 feedings during the night ...

So every single time I went down there yesterday he consistantly got scores around 70 which was fantastic ... and by the last feeding David and I did at 11:30 he was reduced to 1 and had actually passed enough to turn off the machine ...

So since I am up in the middle of the night I just called down there to see how he is doing ... the nurse said that after we left at 12:30 he woke up screaming about half an hour later and ate another ounce of food which is great and that his 2:30 test his score was a 72 ... the doctor is coming first thing in the morning and taking out his central line ... and she said he has been pooping up a storm which will help his bilirubin numbers ... they are a bit questionable and he is very red ... in fact David and I call him umpa loompa ... which is a sign of some jaundice but since he was to term the numbers have to be higher than his before they use the bili lights ...

So now once they take out his central line he has to go 24 hours with good sugar tests ... tests that are above 55 and ideally around 70 and then he is allowed to go home ... I'm sorry I will be leaving today because I would love to do another full day of feedings to see how he is doing ...

I'm just so very proud of how well he did all day Wednesday ... it was such a great day for all of us!!

Finally A Photo With Mommy

Joy Through The Pain

So today I have been in much more pain than I was yesterday ... I guess I thought I was going to have miracle abdominal surgery and be pain free but that isn't the case ...

I did get to take a shower this morning which was very nice and very needed ... and I got to see my doctor this morning ... which it was so good to see him ... I just love him so much ... he of course mentioned, "He wasn't 11 pounds" which was my guess ... and I said yes but I was only an ounce off and closer than his guess ... he is being very cool ... he said he was going to come and visit me again tomorrow before we decide when I am going home ... kind of hoping Lincoln gets to go at the same time as me ...

Then the doctor who delivered Lincoln came by to see me ... she said my incision looks great and that I can probably go home tomorrow but they aren't putting in the order for it yet so they can see how I am tomorrow ... she mentioned how much better I looked now than when she saw me Sunday morning ... and commented on how funny and happy I was after I got my spinal ...

After seeing the doctors I headed down alone to NICU ... where I got to snuggle Lincoln for a while ... I wanted to stay and feed him but he is just so heavy sitting on my stomach that after about 40 I needed to go back upstairs ... I just didn't think I would be able to do it alone ... it is much easier when David is with me and we can pass him back and forth and help each other ...

While I was down there another mother was wheeled in to see her baby ... the woman wheeling her looked at me and said, "ohhhh hello there." with a big smile on her face ... then she started to giggle ... I said hello and she said, "You probably don't remember me ... I was in the operating room with you Sunday, I was one of the nurses." ... I said, "Oh so are you giggling because of how I acted after I got the spinal?" and she said, "Yes, we all thought you were so cute and so happy after that." ...

I headed back up to my room and ate my lunch and took some pain medication and a nap ... today the pain has just been especially hard and without a nap yesterday I was hurting ... as I was waking up I saw the cutest little kid run into my room ... I was so happy to be awoken by Schuyler yelling, "Mommy oh mommy I missed you." ... I guess they called while I was asleep and said they were heading over ... and I was so happy to see them ...

We all visited for a while and then headed down to the NICU ... my dad and I went in first ... then he tagged out and my mom came in ... today my mom got to hold Lincoln for the first time ... and she was so happy to do so ... it was a nice visit with him and then we all headed back upstairs ...

David got here soon after we got back to the room and Skye was happy to see him ... I hate it that she still hasn't met her brother or seen him ... she just doesn't really know what is going on ... after my parents and Skye headed out David went and got dinner and had it in my room with me while I was having dinner ... then we went down for a quick visit with Lincoln and are getting ready to head down now to feed him his 9:30 bottle ... I sure hope his glucose test is good before this feeding and they can reduce his intake ... it hasn't been reduced all day today which just prolongs his stay ... I really believe I am going to leave before him and I well up with tears every time I think about it ... I want us all to go home together ... but whatever happens ... happens ...

More Photos

Mystery Pain

So I spent the majority of the day at the ER ... they did all sorts of tests ... but saw nothing wrong ... my doc is assuming that maybe I am just slow to heal and the fact that they were in there rooting around for so long could just be what is going on ... and I am hoping so ...

But they did send me home with much better pain meds ... and I took one and went up to bed ... it was the first time I felt like I slept at home ... 4 full hours of sleep ... I could hear Curly Top downstairs laughing that gorgeous belly laugh of hers and wanted to be with her ... but sleep and resting is really what I need to get better right now ...

Off to the ER

Once again I am off to the ER ... I have stayed in terrible pain ... everything I read said I should feel great by now ... I called my doctor ... who actually answered his phone on a Sunday morning and said "Get to the ER now - this isn't right" ... so I am waiting for my dad to come pick me up and take me to the ER ... woohoo ... here we go again ...

Going Home Today

My doctor came by early this morning and told me I am able to go home this afternoon. He said all my labs looked great ... biopsy was good and all my labs were good ...

Within a few minutes the resident came by and said I could go home this morning

So I called D and let him know I could go home and started getting my stuff together ...

They did all the check-out stuff ... went over what I could do ... how to check my incisions ... when to call the doctor before my two week appointment ... took out my IV ... loaded me up on the wheelchair ... and we were off ...

I went outside for the first time in 5 days and it was wonderful ...

D. brought the car around and we were outta there ... we stopped and filled my prescription and then headed home ...

And let me tell you ... that shower was AMAZING ... man I needed a shower so very badly it was crazy ... washing all the sweat (my room's air didn't work so I mostly just sat and sweat) ... and just hospital off of me ...

Then D left to go get Curly Top ... and when they came back through the door everything felt wonderful ... having us all together again was just beautiful ... it brought tears to my eyes ... we were all laughing and smiling and I think each of us was so happy to be right there in that moment ...

Life is going to change ... I haven't been happy with how things have been going for some time and it is time to make the changes ... my doc said he wouldn't be at all surprised if stress didn't start the wheels in motion as a wake up call for me and he is probably right ... things are going to be different ... I am only interested in really putting my heart into the things I care about ... and I can't worry about anyone else but my family any more ... if it isn't good for me or my family it is no longer getting done ... these are changes that must happen immediately!!!

Curly Top's Visit

My mom and Curly Top came for a visit today ... it was sooooooooooooo great to see them ... Curly Top looked older I sware ... but she came and gave me kisses ... and hugs ... and we took 3 walks around the floor I am on ... she showed everyone her "melmo" doll

We had a bit of fruit and cookies (well them not me) and watched some TV ... it was really good for me to have them here today ... the walking did me a lot of good ... and I hadn't seen my little girl since Friday night ... it was just killing me ...

So I was so happy to get some time with her and with my mom but it was hard to see them go ...

Man I can't wait to go home!!!

Having a Hard Day

This day started out great ... I woke up feeling really good ... but as the morning has progressed I have felt worse and worse ...

I'm only on here for a second to write this because sitting on the bed today is terribly painful ... I've been spending most of the day in a chair in my room ...

Not able to sleep very well and now that I can eat nothing sounds good or worth the efford ... I had some vanilla pudding this morning ... some I think it was like 2 bites and cranberry juice ...

Curly Top is supposed to visit today which I am excited about ...

All The Gory Details

So I have already seen the resident and the surgeon this morning and both went on and on with how lucky I was ... so between them I was told:

Normally the proceedure to take out a gallbladder lasts 45 minutes ... I was in surgery over 3 hours

My gallbladder was 5 times the size of a healthy gallbladder ... as Dr. D. said, "It was so very very very sick"

The stone in my gallbladder that blocked a duct and stared all this was the size of a marble

They were one minute from just cutting open the abdomen because getting it out lapriscopically was just proving very difficult ... but they were able to do it ... my lapriscopic incisions are a bit larger than they would normally be (which I am super fine with) ...

Dr. D. had photos of everything and I actually said yes to seeing them ... they were pretty gross ... he said again and again while looking at the photos I was so very lucky ... he wasn't sure why the ER doc that got assigned me didn't immediately operate ... he said it couldn't have gone any longer than Monday ...

I told him I felt so stupid I didn't know this is what was happening a month ago when I had paid ... he told me stones take years and years to develop ... that most people never have any symptoms and nothing ever happens ... and that there would be no reason for me to automatically know when getting a backache it was the gallbladder ... he said to just keep realizing how lucky I was ... which I do ...

OK I a wiped out now ... I woke up feeling great but I think I already need to rest ...

No More Gallbladder

I’m back in my room … gallbladder is gone … totally hurting … allowed to eat and don’t feel like it … having some cranberry juice … gonna try and sleep

PS - my room is yet another new room - just too hurting to type this at the time ... my new roommate had people there all day leading up to surgery ... with babies and kids and her cell phone ringing constantly and playing her tv so loud I couldn't hear mine ... so while in recovery I heard someone talking about a private room ... i asked if there was one on my floor that I could move into so by 9:00 PM they moved me into a solo room and I was so happy ...

Met My Doctor

Well I think this surgery is a bigger deal than I had realized ... he went over all the complications that could happen ... he kept saying it was major surgery and did I realize that ...

He also said the length of time I have to stay here isn't dependant on the type of surgery I have but how infected it is and if I need a couple more days of antibiotics ...

So they are supposed to come get me around 12:30 and told me I should be back in my room around 6 tonight ...

I am starting to get a little nervous ...

Up Early

Now I am just waiting for surgery ... I was up at about 5 and got some work done ... set up the Rock-n-Tot giveaway mailing so it will go out tomorrow morning ... especially because I had no idea how I would feel later today or tomorrow ...

I am feeling kinda bad this morning ... I just realized that I left our kitchen a MESS on Friday when we left for my parents ... all the stuff from making cupcakes was still out everywhere ... dishes filled the sink ... cause I just figured I would take care of it when we got home ... and now I left all that mess for David to have to take care of ...

I now have a roommate in my room ... but at least it isn't an old lady who is fighting with her husband non-stop ... a girl probably my age who got in a car accident ...

I have the nicest nurse right now too ... funny thing she saw me working on the RnT letter and said, "Oh I've heard of Rock-n-Tot - are you that Liz?" ... I think I'll give her tickets ... :)

OK since I still have 3.5 more hours till surgery i think i am going to try and get a little nap ...

Things I Would Eat

So it has been since Friday morning since I have eaten ... well I had a cupcake Friday night ... but that didn't really stuff me ... so to say the least I am STARVING ... so terribly hungry I can't believe it ... it goes in waves ....

So mentally I've been making a list of what I wish I could eat ... especially after seeing commercials for stuff that looks soo delicious ... now none is more important than the other ... right now I would shove any of this list in my mouth ..

1. Girl Scout Cookie Blizzard
2. Frosty from Wendy's
3. Donut
4. Pepperoni Pizza
5. Cranberry Juice (I could drink a gallon right now)
6. Simply Juice now has apple juice that looks good
7. Cranberry Quest Smoothie from Roebecks
8. Any kind of Granola Bar
9. Any kind of bowl of cereal
10. Anything off the Hot Bar at Holiday Inn Express
11. Anything from McDonalds
12. Anything from Burger King
13. Anything from Sonic (especially tots)
14. Anything from Taco Bell - especially that new crispy thing with caso they have

OK writing this is making me even hungrier if that is possible ... so I gotta stop adding to it now ...

Surgery Tomorrow

Well my surgern finally called me ... the one I first had left on vacation ... and the new one called me tonight at 11:30 to let me know they looked at my MRI and that it has to come out right away ... but not in the middle of the night because that is too dangerous ...

So I am scheduled for 12:30 tomorrow afternoon ... they are going to attempt to remove it lapriscopically but he said my gallbladder is very distended and swollen so my chances of having abdominal surgery are greater than most ... so tonight I am praying it works lapriscopically because that would be a huge difference in how I feel ...

Lapriscopically I could feel better by tomorrow night ... and even go home Tuesday ... abdominal surgery I could be in the hospital 3 to 5 days after surgery ... and I am more than ready to go home ...

I just can't believe I never suspected anything more than a bad back from our mattress ...

Imagine how upset I would be if we had spent a terrible amount of money on a new mattress and I was still writhing in pain ...

MRI = Horrible Experience

That MRI was way worse than I had anticipated ... first of all I thought I was going to have what I had on Friday night ... obviously all the acronyms confuse me ... Friday night I had a CAT Scan ... today MRI ... hated the MRI ...

The CAT Scan was peaceful and calm ... the light above the machine even had a beautiful beach scene on it ... the room was nice a cool ... (BTW in the hospital I spend the majorty of the time sweating ... I am always just so so so hot in the hospital) ... so that was nice ...

The MRI room ... dingy ... hot ... not at all nice ... no pretty beach scene ... just a huge warning sign that powerful magnets are always in use ...

So I get into the room and just lying down is terribly hard ... hurts a lot ... but then "scoot up ... scoot down ... scoot up ... up a little more" wasn't making it easier ... then they strap this big plate to your breast ... not comfortable at all when it is in the area that already hurts ... plus I made the mistake of keeping the blanket on myself and the dorky socks they make me wear if I get out of bed ... all just a little too much ... then he hands me these ear plugs and says, "Put these in ... it is very loud"

But when they push you into this coffin... woops I mean a cylinder area that is only inches bigger than your body ... I hadn't expected that at all ... NOT AT ALL ... and I will say it took my breath away for a second ... then I thought to myself, "Can I actually do this? Am I actually claustrophobic?" ... the technician told me it would a series of holding my breath and would take about 20 minutes ... that I would have to hold my breath anywhere between 3 second and 20 seconds ... let me tell you ... it was hard ... it was definitely longer than 20 seconds ... and I had a rough time with it ... plus being in the tight box ... feeling the sweat dripping down my legs and tummy ... and knowing that each time the voice said, "Take a deep breath ... and hold it" that almost every time I started breathing before "the voice" told me I could ...

And he wasn't kidding when he said it was loud ... it was really really loud in there ... like being inside a foghorn when it goes off ...

So now it is a waiting game ... waiting for my doctor to read the scans and waiting for him to come up and let me know what is going on ...

Doc came to see me

Well I am happy to report that the doc feels my gallbladder needs to come out before I leave here ... which should mean they will take it out tomorrow ...

The bad news is my biliruben has gone up ... not by a lot but it is up ... so they are doing another MRI today to see if a stone escaped and is blocking a duct ... if that is the case they have to do a procedure first that takes care of that and then take out the gallbladder ...

So hopfully in the next 24-48 hours I will be feeling better ... more like myself ...

And I will finally be able to eat something ... the doc wouldn't even ok juice for me ... so another day of only having ice chips ...

Thank goodness for the Computer

I would be out of my mind bored at the hospital right now without my computer ... it would have made all that time I was in the hospital before and after Curly Top's birth a lot better ...

I am missing her so very much right now ... 99% of the fun of a long weekend is getting to hang out with her ... it sucks that i haven't seen her in 24 hours now ... just totally sucks ... although now that I am in my own room I think I am going to ask my mom to bring her tomorrow ... I need some kisses ...

Kinda Blew the Anniversary

So yesterday, July 4th, was our 4 year anniversary ... I woke up with the pain in my rib cage and back just as bad as it was last month ... but I was ignoring the pain ... I mean it is the 4th of July ... my favorite holiday ...

We were going to my parents house to cookout and watch the fireworks ... my dad got steaks ... and I was so excited ... I even made Elmo cupcakes (I'll insert the photo later) which Curly Top LOVED ..

While we were there I spent most of the evening writhing in pain ... had maybe 2 bites of baked potato and maybe a bite or two of steak ... and of course a cupcake ...

My mom off-handedly said, "Maybe it is your gallbladder." ... I went and looked it up online and all of a sudden it was clicking ... everything it described is what I was feeling ...

We had PJs with us for Curly Top since we would be coming home late so we just let her stay there ... and D brought me to the hospital ...

Well ... turns out ... my mom was right ... and in a big way ... the doctor said he couldn't believe I waited so long ... so not only are there gallstones ... there is an infection ... it is swollen and surrounded by fluid ... and it has got to come out ...

I was admitted to the hospital from the ER ... and have been on IV Antibiotics all day ... and I am starving ... so so starving ... the last big thing I had to eat was 1/2 a bowl of cheerios on Friday at 7 AM ... the commercials are killing me ... everything looks so tasty ...

So I started out in a horrible room ... an older woman with phenomenawho had visitors all day ... coughed all the time ... fought with her husband ... kept the lights on ... it just sucked ... so I sucked it up and asked if I could move to another room ... and woohoooo they moved me and it is so much better ... right now I am the only one in here and it is fantastic ...

Now if I could just have something to eat I would be pretty happy ...