Are There Two In There

Asking me if I am carrying twins ... and even triplets lately ... is the most popular question I get ... and if only people knew how much it ripped through me each time ...

Half the time I want to say, "It was twins yes ... but I lost one of them ... thanks so much for bringing it up and opening up that wound again." ... but they don't know ... they are just amazed at the size of my belly ... it is a natural question ...

Today I had to stop at the hospital on the way to work for my pre-op blood tests ... 4 people asked me if I was carrying twins and one asked me if it was triplets ... it just makes me so sad to have to say no each time ... because it is something that is still on my mind all the time ... I am still very conflicted about the fact that we are not having twins ... and I have had long enough to get used to the idea but it is still so hard ...

I know I look like I am ready to go at any minute ... everyone gives me that look like should I be out on my own ... when I walked into the reception at the hospital they gave me a maternity badge and called for a wheelchair ... then she asked if I had any stuff with me ... I laughed and said, "I am just here for my pre-op blood tests - I am only 37 weeks pregnant and not in labor." ... The woman was cute and apologized ... then said, "must be twins." ...

After asking if it is twins everyone wants to take a guess at the size ... today I got 2 nurses guessing 13 pounds ... one guessed 12 and one said 11.8 to 12 ... I told them all my doctor thinks 10.4 ...

Once I have Lincoln then people won't ask the twins question and maybe I can put it behind me and think about it less and less each day ...