I have no problem admitting when I am wrong

 

November 17, 1999

I have no problem admitting when I am wrong ... and yesterday I was TOTALLY wrong ...  I got a really nice letter from Todd tonight ... explaining how busy his life and work schedule have been ... and that he hasn't even talked to his mom in a month ... and that he would still like to hang out sometime ...  as I was reading the email I got an instant message from him and we chatted for a bit ... and he wasn't upset that I had gone off in my journal ... and I wasn't upset that I hadn't heard from him ... so after all that it left me with a good feeling ... as he was signing off he said ... "we'll talk soon" ... which I love ... that is completely no pressure or expectation ... ya gotta love that ...  so today Dean, Kara, Chris, John and I went to AdultDex ... which was pretty cool ... kinda cheesy but found some great stuff for work ... had some fun ... as Dean, Kara and I were leaving this guy came up to dean and said ... "you must be the luckiest guy in the world to be here with these 2 beautiful women ... how do you do it?" and I looked at Kara and said ... "he pays us!!" we all started laughing ... cause I do work for dean ... so he does pay me ... and then the guy looked at me and said ... "ya know what on a scale of 1 to 10 you are definitely an 11!!" ... of course I got a huge smile on my face even if he was some drunk Vegas gambler ... then he looks at Kara and said ... "not that I don't find you attractive but I go for the heavier set women!!" ... my smile turned to scorn ... we all giggled since I have been so depressed and as our car pulled up dean looked at the guy and said ... "ya know you should have stopped while you were ahead" ...  now before all that happened ... Kara and dean were at the valet window and I walked on over to where you get your car ... I struck up a conversation with these two guys who were waiting for their car about AdultDex and told one of them that I ran a cam site ... and gave him my card ... well when Kris and I got back from coffee there was an email from him ... asking when we were going to see each other again ... which I thought was pretty bitchen ...  man am I starting to sound like a manic depressive or what ... I am not ... I know life goes in waves ... and I can't say I am completely over being bummed about stuff ... but it is funny ... my friend Lem wrote me a letter today telling me he knows me well ... and my life goes up and down ... just like everyone else's ... and next week I will wonder why I even wrote last nights journal entry ... little did he know I would be thinking that today ...  I am still kinda stressed about missing a period ... but this site is amazing ... I got 3 letters from doctors today telling me that stress often causes people to be late or miss periods ... which I know ... its just weird ... I have been WAY more stressed at times in my life than I am now ... and never missed ... I am kinda happy I haven't been having regular sex (well not that happy but ya know what I mean) ... cause then I would have something to worry about ... but I am sure it is just cause I have been sooooo stressed and not taking much time to relax in my life ... which I am going to try and do ... I just need to figure out how ... I know that unless someone is over ... I can't relax at home cause there is always work to do ... there is one thing I want to do ... Limp Bizkit and System of a Down are playing at The Joint next week and I really want to go ... Dean said he will try and get me tickets ... now I just gotta find a date that wants to go see those 2 bands as badly as I want to ...  oh man I almost forgot ... Kris called me at like 7:30 this morning from the hospital ... she woke up and her foot was TOTALLY swollen ... and it turned out she had a stress fracture on the ball of her foot from hiking this last weekend ... so she has one of those Velcro casts to her knee ... which is lucky cause she can take it off to take a shower ... that was the worst part about having a cast on my leg ... not being able to take a shower ... she made an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon and I have my fingers crossed that everything will be alright ...  I must say I have gotten some of the nicest letters about my last journal entry ... there are so many sweet and kind people out there I feel so lucky to have them as a part of my life ... the support circle this site has brought me is amazing ... I don't know what I would do without it ... I really am so lucky ...  and ya know I have been dying to write about something but I haven't asked the people concerned if they mind ... cause I know not everyone knows yet ... so I will just say this ... two of my friends that have been dating forever are getting married ... I am so excited for them ... and it is so groovy being one of the first to find out ... weddings are just exciting ... period ... it is such a joyous time ... when you are surrounded by everyone you love ... part of the reason I wanted to be a wedding planner ... all the weddings I worked on just kept me smiling all day ... so I am just so excited for them ... {smile} ... yea yea yea!!! something else special happened today ... my old roommate Sean who still lives in Kansas, was in the office a bunch today and we got to spend a while emailing each other back and forth ... it was so fun ... I hope it motivates him to get a computer for home ... cause I just love him so much ... it was funny he checked out my site and wrote me saying ... "nice boobies Liz" ... and I said ... "all that time we lived together and you just now get to see my boobies" ... and he said ... "well there was that one time when you fell asleep in the tub and I walked in" ... hahahahaaa ... ohhh I just love Sean so much ... I wish I could get him to move out here ... maybe someday ... Kris and I are trying to get him to come out for new years ... and I know he will love it and want to stay ... {smile} ...  well with all this excitement I can feel the beginning of a headache approaching ... that shinny spot in my vision that reminds me of the aftermath of a camera flash ... so I better just spell check this puppy and wrap it up for the evening ... I am sick of looking at porn today anyway ...