I know I have written very little lately ... not sure why ... I didn't even write about my 35th birthday ... but i'll do that later ... the thoughts i need to get off my chest now are all about work ...
as paranoid as this is going to sound ... i think our sales reps are trying to drive me out of the company ... to find a new job ... over the past month+ anything they are supposed to send to me they send to someone else ... and that person [whomever it may be] has to forward it to me ... and it is a group wide effort ... if it were just one of 5 of them I could almost understand ... but when all 28 are doing it ... on a consistant basis ... it fucking hurts ...
i am aware that none of them like me ... and i am fine with that ... i am not at work to make friends ... and i am the boss' kid but i pull more than my own in my job ... and i work hard for our reps ... i go above and beyond anyone who has been in this position ...
they are just fucking assholes ... and it makes me not want to be here anymore ... i never get a simple thank you ... from any of them ... they are bypassing me on purpose so my job isn't complete on time ... stuff gets lost because it didn't come to me and people assume they were just copied on stuff so i never get it ... it just hurts ...
if i were lazy and got away with shit and didn't do a good job ... well then fine ... that would be the price i pay ... but i am just the opposite ... i am a hard worker and have had a job since I was 14 years old ... so i am not new to working hard ... and i am also not new to people at work not liking me ... it has happened at many jobs because i don't accept anything less than what i would do myself ...
but honestly they can all kiss my ass ...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
In Love With Death
PEGGY NOONAN
In Love With Death
The bizarre passion of the pull-the-tube people.
Thursday, March 24, 2005 12:01 a.m. EST
God made the world or he didn't.
God made you or he didn't.
If he did, your little human life is, and has been, touched by the divine. If this is true, it would be true of all humans, not only some. And so--again, if it is true--each human life is precious, of infinite value, worthy of great respect.
Most--not all, but probably most--of those who support Terri Schiavo's right to live believe the above. This explains their passion and emotionalism. They believe they are fighting for an invaluable and irreplaceable human life. They are like the mother who is famously said to have lifted the back of a small car off the ground to save a child caught under a tire. You're desperate to save a life, you're shot through with adrenaline, your strength is for half a second superhuman, you do the impossible.
That is what they are trying to do.
They do not want an innocent human life ended for what appear to be primarily practical and worldly reasons--e.g., Mrs. Schiavo's quality of life is low, her life is pointless. They say: Who is to say it is pointless? And what does pointless even mean? Maybe life itself is the point.
I do not understand the emotionalism of the pull-the-tube people. What is driving their engagement? Is it because they are compassionate, and their hearts bleed at the thought that Mrs. Schiavo suffers? But throughout this case no one has testified that she is in persistent pain, as those with terminal cancer are. If they care so much about her pain, why are they unconcerned at the suffering caused her by the denial of food and water? And why do those who argue for Mrs. Schiavo's death employ language and imagery that is so violent and aggressive? The chairman of the Democratic National Committee calls Republicans "brain dead." Michael Schiavo, the husband, calls House Majority Leader Tom DeLay "a slithering snake."
Everyone who has written in defense of Mrs. Schiavo's right to live has received e-mail blasts full of attacks that appear to have been dictated by the unstable and typed by the unhinged. On Democratic Underground they crowed about having "kicked the sh-- out of the fascists." On Tuesday James Carville's face was swept with a sneer so convulsive you could see his gums as he damned the Republicans trying to help Mrs. Schiavo. It would have seemed demonic if he weren't a buffoon.
Why are they so committed to this woman's death?
They seem to have fallen half in love with death.
What does Terri Schiavo's life symbolize to them? What does the idea that she might continue to live suggest to them?
Why does this prospect so unnerve them? Again, if you think Terri Schiavo is a precious human gift of God, your passion is explicable. The passion of the pull-the-tube people is not.
I do not understand their certainty. I don't "know" that any degree of progress or healing is possible for Terri Schiavo; I only hope they are. We can't know, but we can "err on the side of life." How do the pro-death forces "know" there is no possibility of progress, healing, miracles? They seem to think they know. They seem to love the phrases they bandy about: "vegetative state," "brain dead," "liquefied cortex."
I do not understand why people who want to save the whales (so do I) find campaigns to save humans so much less arresting. I do not understand their lack of passion. But the save-the-whales people are somehow rarely the stop-abortion-please people. The PETA people, who say they are committed to ending cruelty to animals, seem disinterested in the fact of late-term abortion, which is a cruel procedure performed on a human.
I do not understand why the don't-drill-in-Alaska-and-destroy-its-prime-beauty people do not join forces with the don't-end-a-life-that-holds-within-it-beauty people.
I do not understand why those who want a freeze on all death penalty cases in order to review each of them in light of DNA testing--an act of justice and compassion toward those who have been found guilty of crimes in a court of law--are uninterested in giving every last chance and every last test to a woman whom no one has ever accused of anything.
There are passionate groups of women in America who decry spousal abuse, give beaten wives shelter, insist that a woman is not a husband's chattel. This is good work. Why are they not taking part in the fight for Terri Schiavo? Again, what explains their lack of passion on this? If Mrs. Schiavo dies, it will be because her husband, and only her husband, insists she wanted to, or would want to, or said she wanted to in a hypothetical conversation long ago. A thin reed on which to base the killing of a human being.
The pull-the-tube people say, "She must hate being brain-damaged." Well, yes, she must. (This line of argument presumes she is to some degree or in some way thinking or experiencing emotions.) Who wouldn't feel extreme sadness at being extremely disabled? I'd weep every day, wouldn't you? But consider your life. Are there not facets of it, or facts of it, that make you feel extremely sad, pained, frustrated, angry? But you're still glad you're alive, aren't you? Me too. No one enjoys a deathbed. Very few want to leave.
Terri Schiavo may well die. No good will come of it. Those who are half in love with death will only become more red-fanged and ravenous. And those who are still learning--our children--oh, what terrible lessons they're learning. What terrible stories are shaping them. They're witnessing the Schiavo drama on television and hearing it on radio. They are seeing a society--their society, their people--on the verge of famously accepting, even embracing, the idea that a damaged life is a throwaway life.
Our children have been reared in the age of abortion, and are coming of age in a time when seemingly respectable people are enthusiastic for euthanasia. It cannot be good for our children, and the world they will make, that they are given this new lesson that human life is not precious, not touched by the divine, not of infinite value.
Once you "know" that--that human life is not so special after all--then everything is possible, and none of it is good. When a society comes to believe that human life is not inherently worth living, it is a slippery slope to the gas chamber. You wind up on a low road that twists past Columbine and leads toward Auschwitz. Today that road runs through Pinellas Park, Fla.
Ms. Noonan is a contributing editor of The Wall Street Journal and author of "A Heart, a Cross, and a Flag" (Wall Street Journal Books/Simon & Schuster), a collection of post-Sept. 11 columns, which you can buy from the OpinionJournal bookstore. Her column appears Thursdays.
In Love With Death
The bizarre passion of the pull-the-tube people.
Thursday, March 24, 2005 12:01 a.m. EST
God made the world or he didn't.
God made you or he didn't.
If he did, your little human life is, and has been, touched by the divine. If this is true, it would be true of all humans, not only some. And so--again, if it is true--each human life is precious, of infinite value, worthy of great respect.
Most--not all, but probably most--of those who support Terri Schiavo's right to live believe the above. This explains their passion and emotionalism. They believe they are fighting for an invaluable and irreplaceable human life. They are like the mother who is famously said to have lifted the back of a small car off the ground to save a child caught under a tire. You're desperate to save a life, you're shot through with adrenaline, your strength is for half a second superhuman, you do the impossible.
That is what they are trying to do.
They do not want an innocent human life ended for what appear to be primarily practical and worldly reasons--e.g., Mrs. Schiavo's quality of life is low, her life is pointless. They say: Who is to say it is pointless? And what does pointless even mean? Maybe life itself is the point.
I do not understand the emotionalism of the pull-the-tube people. What is driving their engagement? Is it because they are compassionate, and their hearts bleed at the thought that Mrs. Schiavo suffers? But throughout this case no one has testified that she is in persistent pain, as those with terminal cancer are. If they care so much about her pain, why are they unconcerned at the suffering caused her by the denial of food and water? And why do those who argue for Mrs. Schiavo's death employ language and imagery that is so violent and aggressive? The chairman of the Democratic National Committee calls Republicans "brain dead." Michael Schiavo, the husband, calls House Majority Leader Tom DeLay "a slithering snake."
Everyone who has written in defense of Mrs. Schiavo's right to live has received e-mail blasts full of attacks that appear to have been dictated by the unstable and typed by the unhinged. On Democratic Underground they crowed about having "kicked the sh-- out of the fascists." On Tuesday James Carville's face was swept with a sneer so convulsive you could see his gums as he damned the Republicans trying to help Mrs. Schiavo. It would have seemed demonic if he weren't a buffoon.
Why are they so committed to this woman's death?
They seem to have fallen half in love with death.
What does Terri Schiavo's life symbolize to them? What does the idea that she might continue to live suggest to them?
Why does this prospect so unnerve them? Again, if you think Terri Schiavo is a precious human gift of God, your passion is explicable. The passion of the pull-the-tube people is not.
I do not understand their certainty. I don't "know" that any degree of progress or healing is possible for Terri Schiavo; I only hope they are. We can't know, but we can "err on the side of life." How do the pro-death forces "know" there is no possibility of progress, healing, miracles? They seem to think they know. They seem to love the phrases they bandy about: "vegetative state," "brain dead," "liquefied cortex."
I do not understand why people who want to save the whales (so do I) find campaigns to save humans so much less arresting. I do not understand their lack of passion. But the save-the-whales people are somehow rarely the stop-abortion-please people. The PETA people, who say they are committed to ending cruelty to animals, seem disinterested in the fact of late-term abortion, which is a cruel procedure performed on a human.
I do not understand why the don't-drill-in-Alaska-and-destroy-its-prime-beauty people do not join forces with the don't-end-a-life-that-holds-within-it-beauty people.
I do not understand why those who want a freeze on all death penalty cases in order to review each of them in light of DNA testing--an act of justice and compassion toward those who have been found guilty of crimes in a court of law--are uninterested in giving every last chance and every last test to a woman whom no one has ever accused of anything.
There are passionate groups of women in America who decry spousal abuse, give beaten wives shelter, insist that a woman is not a husband's chattel. This is good work. Why are they not taking part in the fight for Terri Schiavo? Again, what explains their lack of passion on this? If Mrs. Schiavo dies, it will be because her husband, and only her husband, insists she wanted to, or would want to, or said she wanted to in a hypothetical conversation long ago. A thin reed on which to base the killing of a human being.
The pull-the-tube people say, "She must hate being brain-damaged." Well, yes, she must. (This line of argument presumes she is to some degree or in some way thinking or experiencing emotions.) Who wouldn't feel extreme sadness at being extremely disabled? I'd weep every day, wouldn't you? But consider your life. Are there not facets of it, or facts of it, that make you feel extremely sad, pained, frustrated, angry? But you're still glad you're alive, aren't you? Me too. No one enjoys a deathbed. Very few want to leave.
Terri Schiavo may well die. No good will come of it. Those who are half in love with death will only become more red-fanged and ravenous. And those who are still learning--our children--oh, what terrible lessons they're learning. What terrible stories are shaping them. They're witnessing the Schiavo drama on television and hearing it on radio. They are seeing a society--their society, their people--on the verge of famously accepting, even embracing, the idea that a damaged life is a throwaway life.
Our children have been reared in the age of abortion, and are coming of age in a time when seemingly respectable people are enthusiastic for euthanasia. It cannot be good for our children, and the world they will make, that they are given this new lesson that human life is not precious, not touched by the divine, not of infinite value.
Once you "know" that--that human life is not so special after all--then everything is possible, and none of it is good. When a society comes to believe that human life is not inherently worth living, it is a slippery slope to the gas chamber. You wind up on a low road that twists past Columbine and leads toward Auschwitz. Today that road runs through Pinellas Park, Fla.
Ms. Noonan is a contributing editor of The Wall Street Journal and author of "A Heart, a Cross, and a Flag" (Wall Street Journal Books/Simon & Schuster), a collection of post-Sept. 11 columns, which you can buy from the OpinionJournal bookstore. Her column appears Thursdays.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Fabulous Four Days
The last 4 days have been absolutely fabulous ... Thursday I got my first snow day this season ... we probably could have gone into work just fine because the roads were above freezing and the snow didn't start sticking till around 2 ... but all of us wanted the snow day ... so we took it ...
Friday I got to leave work 4 hours early ... just half a day there which was fabulous ... I had a dentist appointment to get my permanant crowns ... first 2 I have ever gotten and it was the climax of 6 months of terrible dental problems ... it is SO GREAT to not have to worry any more ... no more chewing carfully ... searing pain ... from the first of September to February 25th it has been a slippery slope on what I could do ... and now ... NO WORRIES ... it is fabulous ... I couldn't be happier ...
Saturday David and I met my brother, his wife and daughter at the American History Museum to see their America on the Move display ... it was fantastic ... we also got to see Julia Childs kitchen which was a great exhibit ... We had lunch and gilato while at the museum and Ellie was just a character all day ... I love that little girl ... after the museum we all headed to my parents house for dinner ... David fixed chicken on the grill and we watched a video we took at the museum ... it was a great day all around ...
Today we cleaned house and relaxed ... it was a nice Sunday for sure ... and it looks as if I might get my second snow day ... reports say it is going to be a great snow and tonight I will be going to bed like a kid waiting for Santa ... I wake up so early in anticipation of a snow day ... :)
Friday I got to leave work 4 hours early ... just half a day there which was fabulous ... I had a dentist appointment to get my permanant crowns ... first 2 I have ever gotten and it was the climax of 6 months of terrible dental problems ... it is SO GREAT to not have to worry any more ... no more chewing carfully ... searing pain ... from the first of September to February 25th it has been a slippery slope on what I could do ... and now ... NO WORRIES ... it is fabulous ... I couldn't be happier ...
Saturday David and I met my brother, his wife and daughter at the American History Museum to see their America on the Move display ... it was fantastic ... we also got to see Julia Childs kitchen which was a great exhibit ... We had lunch and gilato while at the museum and Ellie was just a character all day ... I love that little girl ... after the museum we all headed to my parents house for dinner ... David fixed chicken on the grill and we watched a video we took at the museum ... it was a great day all around ...
Today we cleaned house and relaxed ... it was a nice Sunday for sure ... and it looks as if I might get my second snow day ... reports say it is going to be a great snow and tonight I will be going to bed like a kid waiting for Santa ... I wake up so early in anticipation of a snow day ... :)
Friday, February 25, 2005
Quote of the Day
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
What ... no tip?
This morning the Starbucks I go to was having trouble with their registers ... so the 8 people in front of me got their coffee for free ... everyone I could see had cash in their hand ... do you know not one of them put money in the tip jar ... they just got a free coffee and didn't tip anything at all???
Now I go every day ... and about half of mine I get for free or half the price ... every time I have ever gone in there with cash I tip them ... something ... they offer me a great cup of coffee and are always pleasent to me ... when I get it for free I put all the money in the jar that I would have spent on the coffee ...
I was so disappointed to see no one tip them ... as I approached the register they suddenly got it to work again ... I paid full price for my coffee and left a tip ...
Now I go every day ... and about half of mine I get for free or half the price ... every time I have ever gone in there with cash I tip them ... something ... they offer me a great cup of coffee and are always pleasent to me ... when I get it for free I put all the money in the jar that I would have spent on the coffee ...
I was so disappointed to see no one tip them ... as I approached the register they suddenly got it to work again ... I paid full price for my coffee and left a tip ...
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