we had a totally wonderful evening ... everything David made was amazing ... I think everyone enjoyed themselves ...


after everyone left I put in another load of dishes ... started the dish washer ... watched the first two sketches of SNL and then got in bed with David to watch a little TV ... I couldn't wait to fall asleep ...


that is until we heard a crash ... bam ... and then a terrible high pitched squeal ... and then in our bedroom doorway is Kramer with a huge bat in his mouth ... a fucking bat in his mouth ...


I know he was proud and wanted to show us what he had done ... but I freaked cause the 2 times he has caught birds he runs under the bed to tear them apart so we can't reach him ... and I wasn't about to have him turn into Ozzy Osborne under my bed ...


David and I both jumped up and I slammed the bedroom door ... I dumped out a basket with nail polish so David had something to trap the bat under ... while he walked out I got dressed and then came out for the phone [i know now we need one in the bedroom] ...


I called the police department to find out the number for our animal control office ... while on hold David started calling for me ... I came out and saw David moved on to a bigger trap ... the trash can ... and needed me to get Kramer cause all he wanted was another round with the bat ...

I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and since he is 18 pounds and I was holding the phone, a lipstick to write with and some piece of cardboard I dragged him to the bedroom and shut the door ...


I talked to animal control and as long as it is in your house ... which this one clearly was ... they come and get it for free ... and since Kramer had a fucking good hold on him he told us to keep out of contact with the cat for a couple of hours ... they would test the bat for rabies and then kill it ... [fine by me] ... but since it was so late they were going to have to page the guy on call ... it could take a while but he would get here ...


now we just needed to keep an eye on the bat ... so we watched SNL [thank goodness for TiVo] drank coffee and smoked cigs ... and just kept watching the bat ... right after we finished watching the guy from animal control showed up ...


he put on some mega gloves ... opened his cage ... picked up the trash can and pried the bat from the wire mesh ... once he dropped the bat in the cage the bat went crazy ... and I am glad I didn't see that till he was caught ... most of the time he was in the trash can he looked medium sized ... once his wingspan opened I could see he was pretty damn big ... he started squealing and trying to move around ... the guy said ... "wow that is a pretty good sized one" ... [not what I want to hear at 2 in the morning ... actually I NEVER want to hear that] ... he told us they would test the bat for rabies and if it tested positive we would hear within 48 hours and they would let us know what we need to do for Kramer ...


so of course now we can't fall asleep ... it will be daylight before I feel comfortable ...


as David said ... I guess it is a good time to do our taxes ... I just wish Starbucks was open ... :)

well the table is set ... the food is all ready ... snacks are on the table ... and it is 6:06 and no one is here yet ... I told everyone to be here at 6 and I told them we are on time with cooking ... so it isn't "get here at 6 but dinner won't be ready till 8:30" [like when we go to my brothers] ... if David and I were smart we would have planned around the fact that they are all always late ...


ok I am going to go take some pictures of how pretty everything looks and wait for everyone to get here ... :) I am hungry!!!

David is simply amazing ... tomorrow we are having my parents and my brother and sister-in-law over for dinner ... and David has been going crazy with getting ready all week ... he has been to the grocery store more times this week than the whole time we have been together ... he started prepping food on Thursday night ... then as soon as we got home from the grocery store tonight he started cooking ... and he is even leaving some reduction sauce on the stove all night tonight ... I am just amazed first of all at what an amazing chef he is ... it is sad he was soured by the business cause he has such a gift for the culinary arts ... and secondly that he is going to so much trouble for my family ...


he has been looking forward to us having a house where we could have everyone over because Jason and Jenny have had us to their house countless times to eat ... and well we lived with my parents for a year ... they fed us everyday ...


he is just amazing ... so I guess I should bust a move cleaning tomorrow so that I am participating in this extravaganza in some way ... I mean it is my family for goodness sake ... although I know they see Davie as part of the family ... :)


ok sappy thoughts are coming to mind which mean I should get in bed ...

The Friday Five


1. What was the first band you saw in concert?

Duran Duran at the LA Coliseum in 1984 I believe


2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?

Foo Fighters


3. What's your favorite song?

Scarlet Begonias by The Grateful Dead


4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?

Drums


5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?

Jerry Garcia ... because the Grateful Dead influenced a huge portion of my life so to meet someone who brought me such great joy would be amazing

I am totally a Target girl ... LOVE LOVE LOVE the store ... they have everything I need ... except today ...


today I needed to go to K-Mart ... they had what I needed ... it was a white set of dishes ... 84 pieces for 25 bucks ... you can't beat that ... and since we are having our first dinner party on Saturday night white dishes were a must ... especially since the price is for this week only ...


first of all I had no idea where a K-Mart was ... so after going online and finding two I waited on hold on the phone about an hour total between the two store to see if they had the dishes ... cause neither were too close ... the second one had them and we had to drive forever to get there ... but again it is 84 dishes for 25 bucks ... still worth the drive ...


now it has been a couple of years at least since I have been in a K-Mart ... and god damn if it isn't the crappiest store around ... nothing was in any kind of order ... shit was on any shelf any where ... automotive stuff was plopped on the shelf next to the cookware ... liquid fog for a fog machine sitting right there with the Pyrex bakeware ... tube socks next to the dishes ... just a mess ... so obviously with so many of the stores going out of business they just don't care about the ones that are left ...


but we got our dishes ... and a bitchen retro looking fan [i must have a fan blowing directly on me while i sleep and now i can do it in style] and with daylight savings made it home before dark ... woohoo this day ended well ...

hummm ... how to start this entry ...


as a kid I suffered insane cramps ... and when I say insane I am talking about passing out at school the pain was so bad ... I also suffered from horrible headaches ... later I would learn they were migraines ... at 12 years old my doctor gave me Darvocet for my headaches ... and it totally worked ... when the school called my mom to tell her that I had passed out from cramps my doctor told her I should take the Darvocet for the cramps as well ... to this day it is the only thing that ever worked ...


it was years before I learned it was a narcotic ... and no one around me ever seemed concerned that I was taking it ... I was able to get refills any time I needed it because I was supposed to just keep taking them as long as their was either pain in my head or belly ... and I did ...


7th, 8th, 9th, 10th grades passed and I was still riding strong on my perscription... in 11th grade I learned they were also great when I was overly stressed and couldn't fall asleep ... so that added to its uses ... cramps or headaches or insomnia = Darvocet ...


when I went off to college it was still easy for me to refill my prescription ... no one even asked me why I was taking it ... I just had to go in and tell them I had a prescription for Darvocet and they would issue me 100 more ... and 100 more ... and 100 more ... but I was smart ... people were always trying to get me to sell them some and I wouldn't ... to me I NEEDED them ... I wasn't doing this for fun ... my body had to have them to function on most days and I wasn't about to loose out on that ... these were a prescription ... I didn't see them as recreational drugs ... but at this point I had been taking them steadily for 10 years ...


eventually it got to the point where headaches were a daily occurrence ... and it got to where it was harder and harder to sleep ... there is a time in my life where I don't remember going a single day without taking the pills ... it was a way of life ... soon 100 pills weren't even lasting 3 weeks ... if that ... 1 pill at a time wasn't enough ... I needed two ... or three ... and I needed those 2 or 3 - 4 or 5 or 6 times a day ...


when I was 26 ... I went to see a migraine specialist because I was becoming incapacitated by headaches ... 14 years of taking Darvocet and this was the first doctor to realize I had a problem ... first he told me I was now having the headaches all the time because my brain needed Darvocet to function ... my brain knew that if it started to hurt I would pop some pills ... secondly he told me I was an addict ...


I was tempted to get up and walk out ... what a load of shit that was ... I did plenty of drugs in my day and would just stop when I got tired of them ... the only thing I was addicted to were cigarettes ... besides these were prescribed by several doctors ... not just one ... but many throughout the years ...


but then I started to listen to what he was saying ... and it all started to make sense ... and I realized the first thing I checked for in my purse when I was leaving the house were those big red pills ... I had been taking them for so long I even had a funky case to carry them in ... and I had them stashed all around the house for easy access ... bathroom ... bedside table ... coffee table ... kitchen ... an emergency supply in a suitcase in case I was running low and hadn't gotten to the pharmacy ... another urgent emergency supply in one of those fake Aqua Net hair spray bottles incase I went through my emergency supply before getting to the doctor for a refill ...


I started to freak out in the doctors office ... he took my supply off of me right then ... crushed them up in front of me and washed them down the sink ... I started shaking with fear ... in my head I was going over all the places I had them in the house ... and I knew I was too weak to get rid of them myself ... I would keep the stashes for emergencies if it was left up to me ... so I made a list and gave it to my mom ... and told her she had to get rid of every single one of them for me ...


I had to listen to a lecture by the doctor on detox ... I couldn't believe this was happening ... I couldn't believe I was loosing my best friend in the whole fucking world ...


unlike other addicts that were detoxing I was given a syringe ... my new migraine medicine I had to take by shooting myself up ... something I had never done ... I thought how fucking strange is this ... they are taking away my pills but giving me a needle ... I had a habit no one would notice and now they were giving me something that would leave evidence ...


in the back of my head I thought it would still be no big deal ... I mean it was just some prescription I wasn't going to take anymore ... whatever ... I was so fucking wrong it was scary ... I went to work in the morning even though the doctor told me not to ... I thought he was crazy thinking I was an addict ...


it wasn't even noon and I was sweating like a banshee and my head was screaming for pills ... I was scratching my arms up and shaking ... all while trying not to draw attention to myself ... well I think a whistle went off when I was crouched under my desk ... crying ... scratching ... sweating ... rocking back and forth ... and on the phone to my doctor begging for just one more pill ... I just needed one to get rid of my headache and then I would be fine ...


he kept trying to tell me this was just the drugs exiting my system and I kept telling him he didn't understand ...


my boss had to call my mom to come pick me up ... it was so embarrassing ... but what was worse is I just had to throw up before I got out the front door ... with all the drugs I have tried in my life I never felt as out of control as I did those two days ... after leaving work everything is kind of a haze ... I remember being so hot I thought I was frying ... to so cold I was yelling at my mom to close the fucking windows ... I remember trying to figure out a way to split my skull so I could just remove my brain ... I remember trying to figure out if I had kept one stash a secret ... I remember wanting to die ...


but the doctor was right ... after day 3 I was much better ... the desire was still there but I wasn't sick anymore and I was able to start using the new medicine ... which was non addictive ... and I learned to use a needle on myself pretty well ...


I started writing all this cause for 7 years ... once a month ... when cramps set in ... I dream of having a Darvocet ... it takes all my will power to resist ... the urge hasn't left my mind or body at all ... all day yesterday and today I kept wishing I just had one ...


but I think if someone offered me one I would still say no ... cause I don't ever ever ever want to go through not having them again ...

have you ever been sitting at work and been so mind-numbingly bored you didn't quite know what to do with yourself ...


I am having one of those days today ...