On November 14th I am starting 128 days to healthy ... or at least healthier ... it isn't some book or anything ... it is my own plan ... things in my life must change ... I need to become happier with myself ... in 128 days I will be 33 ... I have looked forward to this birthday for a long time ... 3 is my favorite number so I always envisioned turning 33 in 2003 would make it a great year ... and in order for that to happen I have to make a change ...


I want to have gastric intestinal bypass surgery ... my parents are freaking on the idea ... and are saying no ... but do they really have a say when I am old enough to make that decision ... so these next 128 days will decide ... if I can loose weight on my own and get my fat ass out of my computer chair and do some exercise then maybe I can loose it all on my own ... but if it doesn't happen I am going for the surgery ... and they will have to deal with their own fears ...


I feel if I give it a valiant effort for 1/3 of a year ... that will be a good test ... but at this time even though I am totally happy on the outside ... inside I have grown to loath myself ... I have become uncomfortable in my own skin ... and a person shouldn't live that way ...


so tomorrow starts my 128 days to change ... :)

well I finished it ... the new site is up ... I know I know I made all these logos and asked people to vote on them ... and then I didn't use a single one ... David was bummed I didn't use the star logo that got the most votes but I found it really hard to have a square logo ... I just couldn't make a page ... and the site I made came to me in a dream while sleeping on the train ... I am digging it ... I am sure I will need to do a few tweeks here and there but I love it ... and I feel like I can write again ... I was holding off cause all I have been doing when I got home was working on the design ...


ya know having a job doesn't leave much time in the day for other things ... I had forgotten what life was like ...

I am going crazy ... i have tried so many designs and just can't come up with anything that i like ... and yes logo #5 got the most votes ... but i didn't realize how much a square logo sucks ... that a long straight one makes for an easier set up ...


but i am going to keep trying ... and figure something out ... thanks for voting everyone ... :)

I need some help ... I want to redesign my site and I just can't pick a logo ... so I made a whole bunch and I want help choosing ... so please check out ... the logo page and leave a comment as to what you think is best ... :) thanks!!!!

since becoming a commuter I have learned while listening to my MP3 player I mouth the words to songs ... constantly ... not sure why but it never bothers me if someone is watching or what ... probably looks a little freaky which comes to the second thing I have noticed ... there are times when the seat next to me is the only one empty on the train car ... the isles are full ... and I am sitting alone ... probably not a bad lot in life ... :)

wow ... life is so different with a job ... first of all I can't believe I haven't written anything ... but I am just so tired when I get home ... and I feel like I have so much to do before going to sleep that I haven't really thought about it ... and there isn't big time internet access in the office ... and I don't want anyone knowing about the site so I would rather not write there ...


so I took the train on monday and asked a really nice woman about the bus and made it to work just fine ... even caught the bus home and it went smoothly ... everyone seems impressed cause several of them have worked there for years and can't believe I can take public transportation ... but boy howdy do I love using the public stuff ... makes my life so much easier ... especially since it has been raining ... I would be a wreck if I had to drive ...


work is pretty good ... very easy stuff ... and most of the time it is 4 women in the office so we all chit-chat while getting our stuff done ... nothing like working in internet sales ... that was just too stressful to be a healthy person ... and I don't foresee doing too much work once I get home ... all in all pretty good ...


David on the other hand is breaking my heart ... well he isn't but his situation is ... he wants a job so badly it makes me cry and it just isn't happening ... every night I think good thoughts for him as I go to sleep that tomorrow will be the day he finds something he loves ... but it hasn't worked yet ...


but I am off to bed right now so I will think double good thoughts for him ... :)

tomorrow is my first day at my new job ... normally I am nervous about work ... this time I am more nervous about taking the bus ...


since David and I have one car and the office where I will be working is off the beltway [which is usually laden with traffic] I am taking the train to work ... I love taking the train ... I don't care if it takes me twice as long at least I don't have to sit in traffic ... instead I can read or sleep or whatever ... but in order to get from the train station to work I have to take the Ride-On bus which I have never done ... sounds silly to be worried about taking the bus but I am ... I am sure it will be better after tomorrow but until then I am nervous ...


the work thing I am fine with ... unfortunately I took a job they have been begging me to take since I lived in Las Vegas ... the unfortunate part is it is with the same company my dad works for ... different office but same company ... I just don't like that ... he is a big-wig and everyone knows him ... and with our last name there is no mistaking I am his daughter ... the woman I will be working for has been wanting me to come work there for ages ... so she is quite excited ... and at least I know everyone there ...


I am worried about getting up on time ... it has been almost 14 months since I had a job ... since I was 14 I haven't gone this long without working ... so it will be weird at first ... and I need to catch a 7:01 AM train so we have to leave the house by at least 6:25 so I can get and drink my coffee before getting on the train [in DC you aren't allowed to eat or drink on the train or it is a $50 fine ... imagine telling New Yorkers they can't do that ... all hell would break loose] ...


so I guess I should get all my stuff together ... I want to be ready to go right when I get up ... to save time I showered and did my hair before Sopranos ... so I should be good to go right away ...


ahhhh wish me luck!!